


Wayward Daughter: Part II

by CBFirestarter



Series: Wayward Daughter Series [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angels are Dicks, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Female Character, Bobby as a Father, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Follows the Show, Hallucifer, Hurt/Comfort, Leviathans, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Pining, Protective Bobby Singer, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Hallucinates, Slow Burn, Vessels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:35:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CBFirestarter/pseuds/CBFirestarter
Summary: Alexandra Singer has had a very long year and things don't seem to be slowing down. Castiel, in a last ditch effort to defeat Raphael, took in all the souls from Purgatory. Alex, her dad Bobby, and the Winchesters watched on as Castiel vanquished Raphael and sent the King of Hell Crowley running for the hills. The feeling of victory is short lived as it becomes obvious that Castiel has been corrupted by the souls he consumed. Now Alex is faced with a rogue Angel who thinks he's god, a best friend with all hell breaking loose in his head, and a man she loves that is too broken to love her back. All a day in the life of a hunter. Alex will need to use all her strength to hold her family together and face a whole new evil that none of them have ever seen... and maybe find a way to mend her & Dean's broken hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello All! I'm back, or more accurately Alex is back in action! I hope you like this first chapter. I admit there is a lot of music in this chapter just because I feel its a big part of who Alex is and every song I hear makes me think of her lol. I really hope you all enjoy, I think this is going to be a really great story too tell. Love you all SPN Family <3

_Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives. - Oscar Wilde_

Alex could admit, her life was not normal, and she never wanted it to be. She was rarely truly surprised however, even with all the twists and turns along the way. As she stared at the tiled floor, at the spot where an angel once stood, she felt real and true shock. Castiel, angel of the lord, guardian angel, their angel, their friend, their family… their enemy? _Fuck that!_ she thought, no way was that the new status quo, not on her watch. Alex hadn’t really been paying attention to anyone else until she felt Dean jump forward from her side. Looking up she saw Sam collapsing and sprang after him. Sam’s face was pained and his skin clammy as he slowly crumpled to the floor, Dean catching him just in time. Alex was there a moment later, hovering as Dean tried to wake Sam up.

“Is he breathing?” Alex asked, leaning in to put her hand to his head.

“Yeah, he’s just unconscious. Wanna give me a hand?” Dean swung one of Sam’s long arms over his shoulder and Alex took her cue and grabbed the other arm and lifted. Bobby grabbed up their supplies and they slowly and silently made their way out of the building. Once they made it out into the cool night air everything felt suddenly more real, a fact driven home by the state of Dean’s car.

“Just wait here I will go find Sam’s ride.”

“Al, you don’t know what, or who is out there,” Bobby gave her a worried look.

“I’ll be quick - he couldn’t have parked far.” She was right and found her dad’s old van parked a half mile up the road. She quickly picked up the boys, watching Dean and Bobby haul Sam’s limp body into the back.

She glanced in the rear-view mirror the whole ride home, almost like a nervous tic. She was honestly shocked Sam had been up and walking at all, much less making it all the way to that old building. Dean sat in the back with Sam lying flat at his feet. She couldn’t make out his facial expression in the dark, but she was pretty sure he was brooding. Hell, she was brooding herself, and even Bobby looked lost in thought. _What a gloomy group we are_ , she thought to herself.

She felt the exhaustion coming at her like a wave as they parked, and got Sam situated on the cot in the panic room. None of them had spoken a word, not in hours. The silence was a suffocating, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. The sun was coming up and Bobby headed up to bed, giving her a kiss on the head before leaving.

Dean sat on the couch by the window and Alex watched him for a moment. Even though his face was slack it still seemed tight with tension. He rubbed the back of his neck, rolling it slowly, waiting for it to crack.

“Dean?” Her voice came out barely above a whisper. His eyes came up and found hers, almost grey in the low morning light of the room. “We’re gonna figure this out… I promise.” She tried for a smile, but it was weak and she knew he could see through it.

“Yeah, Lexi, we will figure it out. Get some sleep. I'll keep an ear out for Sam.”

Alex nodded, but hesitated. Her instincts were to go and sit with him, comfort him, maybe be comforted by him. Her body felt like a magnet drawn to him. Luckily her feet were cemented to the floor, keeping her from crossing a line she knew she shouldn’t.

“Try to sleep too, okay? Nothing you can do for Sam… or for Cas right now.” It was Dean’s turn to nod and Alex turned to drag herself up the stairs to bed. Every step away from Dean felt wrong - being apart from him when it felt like the world was crumbling felt wrong. Still, she climbed the stairs and shut the door. Collapsing into bed, she just managed to kick off her boots before falling fast asleep.

Alex woke only a few hours later to bright sunlight streaming through her window. She showered and inspected her new bruises, and apparently a split lip she hadn’t realized she’d gotten. With her hair in a braid, she felt a little more prepared to face the day. She found her dad still asleep and Dean passed out on the couch. She checked on Sam as well, and he was still unconscious. She laid out some clean clothes for him, for when he woke up. She just knew he would wake up, and was not in the mindset of assuming any different.

She headed outside and decided she needed to be productive, but couldn’t decide what to do with herself, until she spotted the tow truck.  It took her a few hours to get back to the Impala, and to get it flipped and on the flat bed. Dean checked in via text and she used the time alone to think over their current situation and try to come up with a plan of action.

Sam… well there isn’t much she could do for him. Unfortunately, this fight was something only Sam could fight. The most she could do was be there ready for when he woke up. Castiel… well that was something she might be able to do something about. She wondered if maybe she should try talking to him on her own, but part of her knew that he wasn’t himself anymore, or at least, not completely. He was a warped and distorted version of himself, by all the souls crammed within his vessel.

She unloaded the car and looked at the bent frame and shattered glass. A list of replacement parts went through her head and she was so focused, she didn't hear Dean coming up behind her.  
  
"You got Baby?" he asked, a slight note of surprise to his voice.   
  
"Well yeah, figured it was the most I could do at the moment. Sam awake?"   
  
"No, still sleeping beauty down there," Dean waved an arm in the general direction of the house.   
  
"Let me know what parts you need and I'll try and get an order in as soon as I can. Gonna take a lot of work to get her up and running again though."   
  
"Always does, but I always manage it," Dean sighed and rubbed at his face.

Her phone began buzzing in her pocket and she pulled it out to see Sara calling.   
  
"Hi Sara, now's not the best time."   
  
"Yeah well, thought you might like to know I tracked down Rosier."   
  
"Fuck, really? You aren't too close, right? Where is he?" Alex glanced over her shoulder and could see Dean eavesdropping on her.   
  
"He's in Miami right now. Been in and out of a few hot spot clubs. I have kept my distance but he heads back to this massive yacht every night and if he hits the water I might lose the trail."   
  
"Well bloody hell, I can't come down there right now, not that I have any clue how to trap the bastard even if I did." Alex had begun pacing without noticing it.   
  
"I'm not just gonna let this bastard get away, Allie. Now I promised I would call you but I'm not waiting on you."   
  
"Like hell you aren’t! Don't you dare go after him alone, Sara, he's dangerous! He took both of us down, and we are only alive because he didn't feel like killing us." There was a choked sound and she turned to see a now very interested looking Dean with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. She lowered her voice and turned her back to him but she could feel his eyes boring a hole into her back. "He's an angel or a demon or a demon angel or some fucking shit like that and those are not to be fucked with. I am begging you let this go, please, I promise once this Castiel stuff is sorted, I will be right there, okay?"   
  
There was a long pause on the other line. Alex knew Sara might not listen to her but she also knew that Sara wouldn't lie to her.   
  
"I am gonna regret listening to you... Fine. But I just know this is guy is up to no good. Mark my words, Allie."   
  
"I know, thanks Sara, I just... thanks." She really couldn't fathom adding Sara to her list of growing concerns at the moment.   
  
"Yeah yeah, you owe me. Stay safe alright?"   
  
"You too, beautiful," Alex smiled and hung up before turning to an expectant Dean. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat."   
  
"Like hell you are," Dean shifted in front of her, blocking her way back to the house.   
  
"You know, I'm a grown up, and I can decide when I eat." She rolled her eyes, delaying the inevitable interrogation.   
  
"What was that all about?"   
  
"Did it look like I was talking to you, Dean? No, so it's none of your business."   
  
"He could have killed you both? Who the hell is he?"   
  
"What part of ‘this is not your problem’ did you not understand?”   
  
"No way, Alex, we might not be- we aren't- whatever we are, if something is trying to kill you that is 100% my problem too."   
  
"No one is trying to kill me, okay? At least, not at the moment. Look, I get you're worried but there is so much more to worry about than this right now, okay? Sara and I have it handled for now." She tried to soften her tone but there was still an edge to her voice she couldn't shake.   
  
"You and Sara, huh? That a thing again? You know what, I don't wanna know. None of my business, right?" Dean's face turned a bit sour, like a pouting child.   
  
"Oh grow up, Dean. This was strictly a work call, but you're right, it is none of your business, cause you closed that door." She realized she was yelling at him - when did it deteriorate to that? She looked up into Dean's face and his stone facade was cracking to show tense, worried eyes with not a little hurt. "I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have snapped. Let's just focus on Sam and Cas and the car right now. Once we get all that sorted out I promise I will tell you all about this other guy. Just trust me, okay?"

He studied her face a moment, and chewed the inside of his lip. "Fine, I'm gonna need new windows ordered."  
  
"I'll go put the order in now."   
  
Dean nodded at her and stalked off back to the car and she felt her shoulders slump, whether in relief or sadness, she wasn't sure. She turned to her own car and popped the trunk, looking for her bag that had her laptop in it. She dug around, then she felt something smooth under her hand. Giving a tug, she pulled out a black leather jacket. She knew it immediately, it was Sara's. She couldn't remember Sara leaving it with her and she hadn't asked about it. She picked through the pockets and found a small note tucked inside.   
  
_You need more than just flannel to keep a girl warm._ _  
_ _Yours always,_   
Sara   
  
She ran a hand over the black leather coat and breathed it in. Even after having been tucked in the back of her car for weeks it still smelled like her. It was comforting. She pulled on the coat and it fit just right. Snagging the laptop and tucking the note back into the pocket, she headed inside to find food.   
  
Days passed. Dean worked diligently on the car, while Bobby tried not to hover over him. Sam woke up and claimed he was okay or at least dealing with it. What it was though he was fairly vague about. Dean seemed content to accept that Sam was fine, though it was obvious he was anything but. And as for Cas? Well that situation got more and more distressing by the day as Castiel was plastered across the news. He was turning out to be a very hands-on deity.

One afternoon, Alex was out helping with the car when Bobby came out and handed her a beer. Sam was leaning under the hood with Dean. Alex flicked on the old TV kept out in the yard.

_The sudden deaths of some two hundred religious leaders are currently under investigation. The Vatican has yet to issue a statement, but some are already calling this an act of God._

All four of them looked up at the TV screen in unison. A woman appeared on screen to be interviewed.

_We all saw him. No beard, no robe. He was young...and...and sexy. He had a raincoat._

Alex couldn’t take any more so flipped off the TV, a silence falling over all of them. Dean went right back to working on the car, a silent signal that they weren’t going to talk about it.

Alex headed inside and spent a few hours researching souls, but came up blank. She checked her bank account as well - it was getting sadly low. She really needed to find a gig soon or groceries would be sparse.

It was dark when she went back outside to find the older Winchester still working on the car with the radio on. Alex leaned against the car, black leather coat on in the cool night air.

She caught the last words of the man on the radio.

_Believed to be target hits high up in white-supremacy organizations. The FBI now believes the Ku Klux Klan has been forced to disband._

“Can't argue with that one,” Dean replied, eyes still glued on the engine. Alex just nodded in agreement.

“Maybe there really is some of Cas still in there.” Alex tried to rub the tiredness from her eyes.

_A freak lightning strike on the heels of the fire that burned down the Center for Vibrational Enlightenment earlier today. Said a spokesman, "this tragedy represents the largest loss in New Age motivational speaker history"._

“Motivational speakers?” she asked, looking at Dean now.

“Yeah, I'm not sure new Cas gets irony any better than old Cas. Of course, old Cas wouldn't smite Madison Square Garden just to prove a point. He's off the deep end of the deep end. And there's no slowing down.”

“So, what? Try to talk to him again?”

“Lexi… ”

“Dean, all we can do is talk to the guy.”

“He's not a guy. He's God. And he's pissed. And when God gets righteous, you get the hell out of the way - haven't you read the Bible?” Dean stood up and twisted his back, wiping his greased hands on a rag over his shoulder.

“I guess…”

“Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he used us, he cracked Sam’s gourd like it was nothing. No more talk - we have spent enough on him.” Dean’s face went dark and he held her eyes for a moment. She could think of nothing to say to that. She wanted to rise to Castiel’s defense but the look in Dean’s eyes told her now was not the time for that fight.

“We’ll just have to see then.”

“Hand me that socket wrench.” Dean held out his hand and she handed him the wrench, feeling her cell go off.

 **Josh:** Got a gig tonight if you're in, Sue bailed last minute, its at the salty dog pub, let me know if you can make it. Sound check is at 8

Alex thought it over. It was only about an hour ride and she had played there before with Josh’s band. She also knew that it would be a quick buck and they could do for some cash. She texted Josh back to let him know she was in, and ran inside to change clothes quick. She put on a pair of dark wash jeans, cowboy boots, a shimmery green tank and Sara’s leather coat. She left her hair in a side braid, knowing she didn’t need to dress up too much for this kind of gig. She tucked Dean’s necklace into the front of her tank before heading down the stairs.

She found the guys all sitting at the kitchen table eating some leftovers from the fridge. Sam jumped like a rabbit when she put a hand on his shoulder. She paused and looked at him a moment, watching to see if he gained his bearings. She was gonna have to make him talk about it soon, if the circles under his eyes were any indication of how little sleep he was getting. He smiled at her though and patted the hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, guys. I'm heading out for the night - I got a gig. If I don’t come home tonight I’ll be back in the morning. Text me if something big happens.”

“Big like our best friend became God and is smiting motivational speakers?” Sam said with a shake of the head.

“No, like really big,” she laughed back at him.

“Sounds good, Al. There are fresh salt rounds in the trunk of the bird.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“You know what,” Dean stood up running a hand through his hair. “I’ll come. I could use a change of scenery.”

“Um, Dean, this is a gig, not for fun. Also, I don’t remember inviting you?”

“I'm inviting myself. Come on, I'll even let you drive.”

“Let me drive? Your car wasn’t drivable last time I checked. You really wanna come?”

“Yeah, I do. Sam you okay holding down the fort with Bobby?” Sam glanced between them but focused in on Alex, trying to get a read on her. Alex sighed but gave Sam a little go ahead look.

“Sure thing Dean, think we can manage,” Sam replied.

“Good. Let’s hit the road.” And with that, Dean grabbed his jacket and marched out the door.

Alex followed after him, a bit miffed on how she had agreed to Dean coming along. Being around Dean was anything but easy for Alex these days. The ache from the loss of him, the loss of his touch was still a physical pain in her chest. That pain only increased around him. She had done a good job of beating it down, letting it be replaced by worry for Cas or worry for Sam, but alone in the car with Dean, singing in front of Dean? No, none of that was a good idea. Still when those green eyes met hers over the roof of her car she knew she couldn’t tell him no.

They headed down the highway. Alex put on the classic rock station. Neither said a word and Dean just stared out the window. She caught glances over at him and noticed that he slowly seemed to be relaxing, the longer they drove. Maybe Dean had needed a break as much as she had from the house. Something they both seemed to share was an itch for the open road. This wasn’t a long drive though and they were pulled up outside the pub in no time. Turning off the engine, Alex put a hand on Dean’s arm to stop him from getting out.

“Dean, look, a few ground rules, okay?” He rolled his eyes dramatically but sat back in his seat. “No interrogating the band, okay? I need to stick around to help the guys break down so we will be here till closing. If I am too tired to drive there’s a motel down the street and Josh usually books a few rooms for the band. That all work for you?”

“Yeah yeah yeah. Come on, let’s go. They got good grub here?”

“You just ate dinner!” Alex replied, following Dean out of the car.

“So? Guy can’t have second dinner?”

The bar was packed and Alex realized that it was a Saturday night. She waved down the bartender, Sydney, and she popped over, a big smile on her face. Alex leaned in to give her a hug. She came to this bar often enough and had known Sydney for a few years.

“Hey Syd, this is my friend, Dean. Take care of him tonight for me while I find the band?” Sydney flashed her a white smile and gave Dean the once over.

“No problem, you leave that tall drink of water with me, I’ll take care of him.” Sydney winked at Dean who chuckled and sat himself down at the bar.

“Whiskey, on the rocks.” Dean shot her grin and a wink back and Alex was suddenly not so okay with leaving Dean alone with Sydney. She didn’t have much of a choice, however, as Josh was flagging her down from the stage.

“Hey Alex! So glad you could cover, my voice is a bit messed up and Sue bailing really left us in the lurch, you know?” Josh gave her a small hug and a squeeze of the shoulder. She had sung with his band a lot over the years. Josh was a damn good-looking man, tall and lean with a short but full beard. He usually wore a beanie regardless of the season or how hot it was. His band did covers of just about everything, from Nirvana, to Clapton, to Mayer, to Raitt. Anything in the classic rock, blues, country, folk genres was fair game. He tended to put his own spin on the songs which worked for Alex, and she knew almost all the songs on his set list.

She checked the mic and stripped off her coat, laying it on the back of her chair. They started with _Superstitious_ and it took her a little to get into the rhythm of the song, but before long she was rocking her hips and her voice had warmed up. She glanced back every so often to see Dean leaned across the bar talking to Sydney just a little too close. Josh signaled at her to slow things down a bit and they moved into _Whiskey_ by John Mayer.

 _The only deal I ever signed_ _  
_ _No devil drew a dotted line_ _  
_ _The stage was set, the words were mine_ _  
_ _I'm not complaining_ _  
_ _  
_ _Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey_ _  
_ _Water, water, water_ _  
_ _Sleep_ _  
_ _Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey_ _  
_ _Wake up, shake it off_   
And repeat

 _It's just a phase_ _  
_ _It's not forever_ _  
_ _It's just a phase_   
But I still might have a ways to go

The room got quieter and she felt her voice rise and carry across the room. Both her hands wrapped around the mic and she found Dean’s eyes through the crowd. He was watching her now with a strange look on his face. _  
_ _  
_ _Walking home with no one left_ _  
_ _Speak softly underneath my breath_ _  
_ _Hey world, you ain't seen nothing yet_ _  
_ _Great, now it's raining_ _  
_ _  
_ _Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey_ _  
_ _Water, water, water_ _  
_ _Sleep_ _  
_ _Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey_ _  
_ _Wake up, shake it off_   
And repeat

 _It's just a phase_ _  
_ _It's not forever_ _  
_ _It's just a phase_ _  
_ _But I still might have a ways_ _  
_ _  
_ _Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey_ _  
_ _Water, water, water_ _  
_ _Sleep_ _  
_ _Dreamed somebody missed me_ _  
_ _Wake up, shake it off_ _  
_ _And repeat it, repeat it, repeat after me_

She kept her eyes locked on his as she sang through the chorus until the heat of his stare was too much and she dropped her eyes to the crowd and then over to Josh. His eyes sparkled a bit in the low light of the pub and Josh gave her the nod that they would take a break before the next set.

Josh offered her a hand off the stage and Elroy the drummer ran to the bar to grab a few drinks. The bar was hot and packed with people now and she felt the sweat on her brow from the heat of the lights. As draining as performing was, it relaxed her in a way. She felt free on stage, free from all the things that went bump in the night and able to let out all those pent up emotions that she felt through the lyrics of a song. In a way she could feel the emotion without having to own it or call it hers.

“You're sounding great tonight, Alex,” Josh smiled down at her and ran his fingertips across her bare shoulder. She could feel the invitation there, and it had been one she had accepted on occasion. Josh never pushed her, he had just been open arms and a warm bed when she needed it.

“How's Jane doing?” she asked, noticing for the first time the tall brunette bassist was missing.

“Oh, she and I had a falling out. She tours with a different group now.”

Alex just nodded at that, understanding the touch from Josh a little better now. She couldn’t help it, but she glanced back up toward Dean who was nursing his whiskey and swirling the ice cubes round in circles.

“I got us a few rooms if you want to stay the night after the gig?”

Alex chuckled, “Thanks Josh but uh- I kinda came with someone and I don’t think he will wanna wait to hit the road.”

“Oh yeah? Is it that brooding fellow over there?”

“That’s the one.”

“He’s had eyes on you all night. You two a thing?”

“It’s complicated, but no, right now we are not,” she sighed as she watched Dean bite his lower lip a little before tossing back the last sip of his drink. There was blue melancholy hanging over his head like a rain cloud. Josh leaned over to whisper in her ear the next few songs he had on the set list and Dean’s eyes found her again. His face stilled as he watched her and a darkness crossed his eyes as he looked past her and likely right at Josh.

“Well, boyfriend over there is giving me the death glare. Ready to get back to it before he comes over here to sock me one?” Josh chuckled, but Alex didn’t, knowing that he wasn’t that far off by the look in Dean’s eyes.

She threw back another shot, granted not the best idea and took to the stage again. The lights were lower now and she couldn’t see out into the crowd as well as before.

They played for close to another hour and her voice was feeling the strain. The final song was a newer country song and she had only sang it a few times. She took another shot before she needed to come in with her first lines. Liquid courage wasn’t a bad idea for this song.

 _My head is poundin'_ _  
_ _Too much red wine_ _  
_ _I wish I didn't love it like I do_ _  
_ _It gets to me every time_ _  
_ _  
_ _I wake up craving_ _  
_ _This cigarette_ _  
_ _Yeah I know they're no good for me_   
But I can't put 'em down just yet

 _I've never been held the way you held me_ _  
_ _I've never been hurt the way you hurt me_ _  
_ _I could handle this pain, forget your name_ _  
_ _If you hadn't loved me like you had_   
Why'd you have to be as good as you were bad

Fuck, she could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She wanted to curse Josh for putting this song on the list. It was a great ballad to close on but it hit just a little too close to home tonight. She took a deep, steadying breath and picked a spot on the floor to focus on. No one sang about broken hearts like a country song.

 _I wanna hate you_ _  
_ _I'm mad as hell_ _  
_ _Oh, but a part of me still loves you_ _  
_ _And hopes and prays to God you're doin' well_ _  
_ _  
_ _I've never been held the way you held me_ _  
_ _And I've never been hurt the way you hurt me_ _  
_ _I could handle this pain, forget your name_ _  
_ _If you hadn't loved me like you had_ _  
_ _Why'd you have to be as good as you were bad_

She couldn’t look at Dean, thinking of his green eyes, the feel of his hands on her hips, those soft lips on her skin. More than all of that, she missed the way he had looked at her and laughed with her and made her feel ten feet tall.

 _They say you remember the past_ _  
_ _Better than it really was_ _  
_ _But there was a time when it really was_ _  
_ _So good_ _  
_ _  
_ _I could handle this pain, forget your name_ _  
_ _If you hadn't loved me like you had_   
Why'd you have to be as good as you were bad

Alex hung on the last note and despite her better judgement, since better judgement had left the building two shots ago, she looked up and found him there watching her. If he didn’t look sad before, now he looked like a kicked puppy. Still, after a moment of silence, he raised his hands to clap with the rest of the audience. Alex wiped her eyes a second, praying no one had noticed how wet they’d gotten.

Josh thanked the crowd for a great night and Alex did a quick jog off the steps heading straight for the back door of the bar. She pushed past a few people, practically running until she got through the door and out into the back alley of the bar. The door shut behind her, drowning out the sound of the crowd. She put her hands on her knees and struggled to catch her breath. Bringing Dean had been a horrible idea. This far removed from all the distractions at home, all those unspoken words falling out in the songs. She heard the door open and turned to see Josh standing there, bewildered.

“Hey, everything alright?” she nodded but a lump was stuck in her throat. He came over and pulled her into a hug and all she could think was that it was the wrong arms.

“Lexi?”

Dean… She let Josh go and thanked the God she didn’t believe in that she wasn't crying.

“Hey Dean. You uh- you like the show?” She gave him a little smile but Dean’s eyes were narrowed on Josh now like a cobra ready to strike.

“You did great, Lexi,” he said earnestly to her before stepping up to Josh. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced, I’m Dean Winchester.”

Josh looked at the proffered hand and took it without hesitating. “Josh Gardner. It’s nice to finally meet the infamous Dean. Alex talks a lot about the Winchesters. Thought you’d be a little taller and your hair longer though.”

“That’s Sam you're thinking of. This is Dean,” Alex corrected him knowing damn well that Josh knew that.

“Oh yeah, that's right. Well Alex, here’s your cut from the night. Sure you don’t wanna crash at the motel nearby? I have a room key, all yours, paid through morning?” Josh pulled out an envelope and room key from his back pocket.

She looked to Dean who seemed fairly sober, which was surprising, and she unfortunately was a few hours away from being sober enough to drive.

“Guess that’s up to you, Dean?” she asked him and he blinked at her, confused.

“I can’t drive, at least not for a few hours. You wanna crash at a motel for the night and head home in the morning? Or you wanna drive back now?”

Dean eyed Josh up and down, looking like he wanted to grab her and get as far away from him as possible. Then he turned and eyed the motel key in her hand and the implications of that seemed to bring on a whole other string of emotions across his face. Alex always used to think that Dean wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions on his face. Watching Dean think was bit like reading her favorite book.

“We can stay if you want. I’m not up for driving either.” She watched him standing tall and still, his eyes sharp and she was about to call his bluff but thought better on it.

“Alright Josh, we'll take the room. Thanks for the gig, it was fun.”

Josh leaned in to give her a hug and say goodbye, before giving Dean a wide berth and going back inside.

“You don’t need to go back in and say goodbye to Sydney?” she asked, knowing how jealous she must sound.

“I think she will get by just fine without me. Here, you must be freezing.” He held up her black coat - she hadn’t noticed him holding it. She gratefully took it and felt his arm snake around and press lightly on her lower back as they walked out to the parking lot. She resisted all urges to lean into him. She could still see the conflict warring behind his eyes. She knew what he was thinking, just a load of self doubt and self loathing. How someone so strong and so brave and so selfless could think so little of themselves Alex could never understand.

It was short walk to the motel and Dean never took his arm from her waist. She thought about protesting the contact but was craving it too much to move away from him. They reached the room and found a stiff king-size bed with thin, scratchy sheets. Neither had a change of clothes so they silently stripped down to shirts and underwear before slipping into bed. Right when Alex thought the silence might kill her, Dean cleared his throat.

“Lexi, you still up?”

“Yeah.”

“You think… you think there is any Cas left in Cas?”

“I really hope so. I think there must be.”

Dean was silent another moment and she wondered if he was asleep.

“Thanks… for letting me tag along. I know you didn’t want me to come.” She opened her mouth to refute him but he continued on. “I’m just really glad you let me hear you sing now. It’s like seeing the real you up there, not the Lexi who takes care of everyone all the time, and is constantly fighting monsters. I like this girl, even if she is a little sad.”

Alex chuckled. “I’m both those women, Dean, all rolled up into one mess of a person.”

“Well, I like getting to see that side of you, you seemed free… Get some sleep, I’ll drive us home in the morning.” Dean cut himself off abruptly. She felt the bed creak and knew he had turned to face the other way.

Silenced filled the small hotel room, and Alex drifted off to sleep with song lyrics dancing through her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All, Sorry for the delay on this chapter, but it is a pretty good length hope that makes up for it :)

Alex stood outside the motel room door and closed her eyes, soaking in the morning sun and letting it warm her skin. Summer was here and it was going to be a hot day. She had thrown on a pair of blue cotton shorts and a green tank, practically feeling the temperature rising. Dean was still sound asleep, if the muffled snoring was any clue. She sipped her coffee and fought back a yawn.    
  
"Morning, Alex," Josh called from a few doors down. She smiled and waved as he approached. The man looked good with bed hair and a slanted smile. He was barefoot, wearing a pair of jeans and an old Ramones tee shirt. "You got one of those for me?" he asked, pointing at the tray of coffees in her hand.    
  
"Course. Still take it black, I presume?" She pointed to the cup on the corner and he took it from her with tired eyes.   
  
"You're up early." He stretched his arms above his head, giving his bare belly a scratch. Alex kept her eyes on her coffee. She knew what game he was playing.    
  
"Early riser - always have been. You'll call if you get any more gigs, alright? The cash is a big help, and I..." She trailed off, stopping the train of thought. "I like singing, it’s... fun." She was thinking more along the lines of cathartic and freeing, but she left it at fun.    
  
"You betcha. I'll email our new set list too, so you can learn the new songs." He took a big sip of the coffee and glanced toward her room. "So uh- how are things with you and Grumpy in there?"   
  
Before she could answer, the door swung open to reveal a bleary-eyed but fully dressed Dean, scowling at them. "Grumpy would like some of that coffee," he grumbled, and pulled the last coffee from the tray.    
  
"You're welcome," Alex replied under her breath but loud enough to be heard.    
  
"I'll see you later, Alex. Thanks for the coffee, and covering the gig." Josh bent down, putting a strong hand on her shoulder and planted a warm, bearded kiss on her cheek. She couldn't help but smile at the tickling sensation, but looked over to see Dean shooting dagger eyes at poor Josh.    
  
"Later, Josh," she replied as he tipped a non-existent hat to Dean and walked back to his room.    
  
She turned to Dean but he had disappeared into the room, re-emerging a moment later with their bags. He slammed the door behind him, walking to her car with a purpose. She rolled her eyes and unlocked the car for him. She slid into the driver's seat, quickly turned on the radio to a folk rock station and started heading for home.    
  
Dean was silent next to her for the first hour or so, seeming to doze in the passenger seat. She couldn't help singing along to a few songs but kept her voice low so as not to bother Dean. A Bob Dylan song came on and she tapped her fingers to the tune, letting it wipe away any other troubling thoughts on her mind.    
  
_ Well, I struggled through barbed wire _ __   
_ Felt the hail fall from above _ __   
_ Well, you know I even outran the hound dogs _ __   
_ Honey, you know I've earned your love _ __   
  
"How close are we?" Dean's groggy voice cut across her singing.    
  
"Hmm? Oh, I dunno, ‘bout another hour or so." She checked the mile marker and nodded to herself on her estimation.    
  
"Dylan huh? There's hope for your musical tastes yet," Dean chuckled and gave her a soft, sleepy smile.    
  
"There's nothing wrong with my taste in music, I just don't limit myself to a box of cassette tapes." She rolled her eyes at him.   
  
"Every song you need is on one of those cassettes. Why listen to other crap when the greats are all right there?"    
  
"I am not arguing music with you, Dean. I may as well just chip at an iceberg with a feather for all the good it will do me." 

He narrowed his eyes at her a second but it was only in teasing and he reached over to sip his now cold coffee dregs. They sat and listened to the radio quietly for a few more minutes before Dean cleared his throat.    
  
"So uh- how are you doing anyway?" he asked awkwardly into his cup.    
  
"What do you mean?"    
  
"I mean with stuff, you know… " She furrowed her brow at him. "Oh come on, Lexi, don't play dumb." 

She realized he was asking her how she was after he had dumped her ass.    
  
"Dean, I am gonna say this as nice as I can, okay? And I don't mean to hurt you, but that is none of your damn business." 

He flushed red a moment and looked down at his now likely empty cup. 

"Look, you ended it, and believe me I get why you did. Maybe we were both stupid to think it could work. You called it off, not me, but how I deal with that is my own business. You don't need to worry about me." Last thing Dean needed to think about was her broken heart.    
  
"You can't tell me not to worry. Look who you're talking to.” He tried for a shy smile at her.    
  
"Well, worry about me or don't, just keep it to yourself, okay?" She realized that came out a bit harsher than she meant, and wanted to take it back but knew it was too late. She tried to read his face, something she was normally so good at, but she just couldn't tell what he was thinking.    
  
"Whatever you want, Lexi. Sorry I tagged along."   
  
"I am glad you came, Dean, really. You're good company when you aren't sulking." She smiled at him to try and lighten the mood.   
  
"I don't sulk," he half scowled, half smiled.    
  
"Dude, no one pouts like Dean Winchester," she laughed.    
  
"Screw you." He rolled his eyes and wound down the window, letting in the summer breeze. They rode the rest of the way home in a slightly more comfortable silence. Dean kept stealing glances over at her and then looking out the window but he didn't say anything.    
  
She was glad to get home, and she tossed half the cash she made in the coffee can above the fridge. Sam was on the couch reading a book and Bobby was out fiddling with his Chevelle. Dean must have wandered off to get started on Baby's paint job so she settled on the couch next to Sam.    
  
"How's the noggin doin’?" she asked, seeing the purple circles under his eyes. He just shrugged his big shoulders, pushing back his hair.    
  
"How was the gig?"    
  
"Same old same old. Any news on Cas?"    
  
Sam shook his head. "Nothing big, just him flying around and smiting people. He took out the Scientologist leaders last night, lots of outrage over Tom Cruise, but otherwise the consensus is people are relieved."   
  
"Any cases come in?"   
  
"Other than Cas? I think someone called about some ‘animal attacks’ in Montana, but it could actually just be animal attacks. Bobby put someone on it."   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Uhhh- a Milton and I think someone named Garth." 

Alex chuckled to herself.    
  
"Well, Milton will have his hands full." She stood up from the couch. "Want a beer? Or some lunch?"   
  
"Both?" Sam smiled at her. 

She nodded and moved toward the kitchen, when there was a rustle of feathers and suddenly Cas was standing in the middle of the living room, not two feet from her.    
  
"Cas?" Sam and Alex said in unison, surprised.   
  
"I have need of you," was all Castiel said before placing a hand on her shoulder, and in the blink of an eye she was standing in some parking lot, feeling like she might throw up.    
  
"What the hell, Cas?" She swallowed hard as she oriented herself.   
  
"Here, take these." Castiel shoved a notepad and pen into her hands. She blinked up at him in confusion.    
  
"A little more explanation, oh mighty, smitey one?" she said, glaring at him.   
  
"I need a scribe to record what I am doing here. The modern record keepers are useless at best and slanderers at worst," Castiel grumbled. Turning with his coat billowing out behind him, he strode toward the building Alex had just noticed.

_ Oh shit. _

“Castiel you get back here right this minute,” she growled at him, pulling on his coat sleeve.The glare he turned on her would have lesser hunters quaking in their boots. Alex, however, was not going to put up with that crap. “Don’t you glare at me. I know you're still in there somewhere, Castiel, and you know me better than to know I am gonna go into that church and stand by while you… what? Kill the televangelist?”

“You forget who you are speaking to,” he growled at her and there was a loud crack of thunder that was unnerving on a bright sunny day. 

“I know who I am talking to. Do you?” She put her hands on her hips and stared him down, hoping to hell she wasn’t way off on this one. 

He was a silent a moment, staring at her. “I am not going to kill anyone, and you will come with me and write everything down.” With that, he turned and walked toward the church doors. 

“Bloody hell,” she murmured under her breath but jogged to catch up with him. She patted down all her pockets hoping for her cell phone, a gun, a knife, anything, but she didn’t have a damn thing on her. 

Alex was dragged around by Castiel for the next few hours. He scolded a few religious leaders, and then went about healing the sick, including a whole leper colony. She tried to talk to him, get a word in, but he wasn't listening and she didn't want to push her luck. She was getting hungry and thirsty and her hand was cramping from taking what amounted to high school notes on the course of events. She could tell he was holding back on smiting anyone in front of her and she was glad for that much, not sure what the hell she would do if he started killing people again. 

"Uh, Cas?" she asked, walking down a dirt road now behind him. There was no answer. She tried again, "Castiel?" Still no answer. "God?"

"Yes?" Cas finally replied, and it took all her willpower not to roll her eyes. 

"I'm hungry and thirsty, ‘cause you know, human over here? And where the hell are we? You know they are going to be worried about me, right?" She almost had to jog to keep up with him. They came into a small clearing, where an old trailer sat off to one side.

"I have one last piece of business to attend to. You do not need to record this." With a wave of his hand, the notepad and pen she had been holding disappeared. She looked at the trailer and if she had to describe it she would use words like, creepy, rapey, sketchy, and dirty. She saw all kinds of sigils spray-painted over it, some of which she recognized and many she didn't. 

She could hear music coming from the trailer - it sounded like Nancy Sinatra's  _ These Boots Were Made for Walking _ . Castiel stops in front of the trailer and, putting a hand on her arm, they whooshed inside. She swayed a moment, taking in the decrepit surroundings. 

"You look stressed," Castiel said, making a man in an arm chair jump and spin around. Alex's jaw dropped to see Crowley standing there. 

"Bollocks... So, the jig is up. You found me." Crowley swallowed nervously and turned toward some open bottles. 

"I never lost you," Castiel replied simply and Alex felt like this was the one time all day she should have been taking notes. "These scratches are useless." Castiel inspected the markings painted all over the trailer. 

"Still... can't blame a girl for trying. I see you brought a little hunter pet with you. Either of you fancy a drink before you smite me?" Crowley mocked, pouring his own glass. 

"No," Castiel replied flatly and Alex felt she really did need a drink. 

"You like to bend them right over, do you? Let's go." Crowley stretched out his arms to the side and closed his eyes, cringing. 

"I'm not going to kill you, Crowley. I have plans for you."

Crowley opened one eye. "What is it?"

"Here's our new arrangement; I let you live, you return to your post as king of hell." 

Alex and Crowley faces both went wide with surprise.

"But?"

"I choose where each soul goes. I control the flow, and you take whatever I give you." Castiel stood tall and confident, glaring down at the demon. Crowley seemed to think for a second before turning to the sink.

"I take it you intend to keep the lion's share? So, what you're saying is hell's being downsized?"

"I would have done away with it completely, but I need a threat to hold over my enemies, and we need to keep Michael and Lucifer's cage."

"Um, is doing away with hell an actual option? Because if I get a vote, that's my vote," Alex chimed in. 

"You do not get a vote, Alexandra." Castiel furrowed his brows at her and she shrugged. 

_ Worth a shot _ .

"Right. I gather this is not a, uh, negotiation," Crowley glanced up at Castiel now. 

"No."

"Then I graciously accept, boss," Crowley tipped his glass and, tossing back the drink, refilled it. Alex saw Castiel look down at his hands in concern, but quickly turned his attention back to Crowley.

"I'll be in touch." Castiel placed a hand on Alex and then they were standing in a dark yard. She lost it then, stumbling to a nearby wall of a shed and throwing up the meager amount still left in her stomach. Spitting and gagging, all she could think was how much she wanted to sit down with a glass of water and her head between her knees. 

"Fu-fuck, you know people aren't meant to fly around like that. You trying to kill me the slow way?" Alex had her forehead pressed to the back of her hand, leaning against the sheet metal wall of some building. Where ever they were was chillier too, and she shivered, still being in her shorts and tank top. Suddenly a familiar voice reached her ears.

"Seriously though, Bobby. Look at our lives. How many more hits can we take? So, if Sam says he's good.. GOOD," Dean's voice sounded tired and frustrated and damn music to her ears.

"You believe that?" Bobby's voice replied,  _ inside the building, they're in the back garage _ .

"Yeah," Dean hesitated a moment and Alex strained to hear him, still trying to get her feet under her and not able to form words yet. "No. You wanna know why? Because we never catch a break. So why would we this time? I just.. just this one thing. You know? But I'm not dumb. I'm not going to get my hopes up just to get kicked in the daddy-pills again." Dean voice sounded incredibly hollow and lost, and she pushed back from the wall and stumbled a bit into waiting arms. Looking up, she saw Castiel had caught her and she struggled to get away, to call to them, but as she saw Sam walking into the garage, everything went dark. 

When she woke it was with a screaming headache. She moaned and rolled over to her side, covering her face with her hands, trying to orient herself.  _ Get up, Singer _ , she thought to herself and pushed up into a sitting position looking around her new surroundings. It was a motel room, and it looked like every other motel she had ever stayed in. Scooting to the end of the bed she looked over toward the bathroom to see Castiel standing in front of the sink. 

“Cas?” she asked, sure that she sounded a bit annoyed but hell, it had been a long day. He didn’t move, just stood in front of the mirror, hands on the sink in front of him. Something was wrong. All Alex's alarm bells were ringing in her head telling her DANGER. “Castiel? Are you okay?” she asked, quieter this time. 

“I am fine,” he said with just the slightest hesitation. Alex walked over to him and looked at his hands to see there were peeling blisters on them. He turned to her and began buttoning his shirt, but not before she saw more red marks trailing his abdomen and what looked like more blisters and burns on his face. 

“Cas, you are so not fine! Let me look at you.” She still couldn’t help her gut reaction to seeing her friend coming apart at the seams, even after he had been such a royal asshole. She moved toward him, taking his hands in hers and turning them over to inspect the wounds. 

His blue eyes stared down at the hands with worry, but he said again, “I am fine, Alexandra.”

“Cas, your vessel cannot hold all these souls. It’s burning up.”

“You don’t know that. I can heal myself, I just need a rest.”

“We’ve seen this before! Remember Lucifer’s vessel, Nick? He burned up too ‘cause he wasn’t built to hold an archangel, and Jimmy isn’t built to hold all the souls of Purgatory.” She knew Castiel knew all of this but she needed him to snap out of his denial. 

“There is food on the table.”

“What time is it, anyway? How long have I been out?”

“A day, maybe more. You should be fully rested now. Eat and then we must go.” Castiel blinked out of the room, leaving her standing there alone and bewildered. 

She went to look at the food and was very happy to see a turkey club, no tomato, just how she liked it. Stuffing it into her face, she immediately went for the phone to call home. There was no dial tone, however, and she cursed, wondering if she should make a run for it. But how do you run from a souped up angel?

“Well this is a fine fucking mess,” she sighed to herself, and then Castiel was back in the room, grabbing her arm, and then they were standing in a house. 

“Stop doing that, already!” she growled at Cas, with her hands on her knees for balance. 

“Amazing.”

“Cas,” Sam’s voice brought Alex’s head up to see that Dean, Sam, Bobby and Death himself were all standing in the middle of what looked like a large study. “Lex?”

“I didn't want to kill you, but now…” Castiel glowered at the hunters. 

“You can’t kill us,” Dean interjected, darting a worried glance her way before focusing on Castiel. 

“You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean.” Castiel raised his hand as if to snap his fingers, and it was so reminiscent of Lucifer blasting Castiel into a thousand pieces that it made Alex physically ill with dread. 

“Death is our bitch. We ain't gonna die, even if God pulls the trigger.” Dean sent the tiniest nod her way to try and let her know things were gonna be okay. 

“Cas, take it easy, alright…” She put a hand on the sleeve of his coat but he ignored the gesture. She had a few choice words ready for her boys about plotting to kill their friend, but she was impressed with their ingenuity. 

“Annoying little protozoa, aren't they? ‘God’? You look awfully like a mutated angel to me. Your vessel's melting. You're going to explode,” Death mocked with a tilt to his head and an apathetic tone. Alex looked up at Cas and saw that the burns were looking worse now. 

“No, I'm not. When I've finished my work, I'll repair myself.”

“You think you can because you think you're simply under the weight of all those souls, yes? But that's not the worst problem. There are things much older than souls in Purgatory, and you gulped those in, too.” A momentary silence fell over the room as every person took in just what that could mean. 

“Irrelevant. I control them,” Castiel’s voice was firm but Alex could see his resolve faltering. 

“For the moment.” Death sneered.

“Wait -- uh, what older things?” Alex piped up, moving next to Castiel, refusing to cower from him.

“Long before God created Angel and man, he made the first beasts -- the Leviathans.” 

“Leviathans?” Dean furrowed his brows.

“I personally found them entertaining, but he was concerned they'd chomp the entire petri dish, so he locked them away. Why do you think he created Purgatory? To keep those clever, poisonous things out. Now Castiel has swallowed them. He's the one thin membrane between the old ones and your home.” Death’s words from anyone else would have been scary, but being delivered by one of the the most formidable four horseman made it downright terrifying. 

“Enough!” Castiel stood toe to toe with Death now. 

Alex took her chance to move across the room to Dean, reaching out a hand and giving his fingers a little reassuring squeeze as both their eyes were fixed on the conflict at hand. 

“Stupid little soldier you are.”

“Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place.”

“Service? Settling petty vendettas?” Death sneered in contempt.

“No. I’m cleaning up one mess after another -- selflessly.”

“Quite the humanitarian.”

“And how would you know? What are you, really? A flyswatter?”

“Destined to swat you, I think.” 

“Unless I take you first.”

“Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas. I know God, and you, sir, are no God.”

Dean held up a hand. “All right, put your junk away, both of you. Look, call him what you want. Just kill him now!” Alex audibly gasped, looking up at Dean. She knew why, logically she knew why Dean was trying to stop Cas, to kill him. Logically she knew how off the rails he was and how dangerous he was, but logic was the farthest thing from her mind. Castiel slowly turned his head to look back at Dean and there was a moment between them, and a flash of regret on Dean’s face. 

“Alright, fine,” Death raised his hand and before Alex could so much as move or beg for them to find another way, Castiel snapped his fingers and the magic bonds holding Death vanished. A cold chill ran down her spine, and she was pretty sure the other hunters in the room felt the same way. “Thank you. Shall we kickbox now? I had a tingle I’d be reaping someone very, very soon.” 

Dean took a few steps back, shifting himself slightly in front of Alex who held her ground. 

“Don’t worry, not you,” Death sighed as he took a seat and began eating a pickle chip. 

Without a sound, Castiel vanished from the room. 

They could have cut the tension in the room with a knife, and it was more than Alex could stand, so she cleared her throat, glancing at her dad a moment and then back to Death. 

“Um,” Dean started, but Death interrupted him.

“Shut up, Dean. I'm not here to tie your shoes every time you trip. I warned you about those souls how long ago? Long enough to stop that fool. And here we are again, with your little planet on the edge of immolation.”

“Well, I'm sorry. All right? I've been trying to save this planet, so maybe you should find somebody better to tip off,” Dean spat out and then seemed to regret raising his voice.

“Maybe I should spend my effort on a better planet. Well, it's been amusing.”

“Wait, h-hold on, hold on. Just -- can you give us something? You -- you have to care a little bit about what happens to us,” Alex interjected and looked up to the stone face as he contemplated.

“You know, I really don't. But I do find that little angel arrogant.”

“Great, let’s go with that,” Dean clapped his hands together.

“Your only hope is to have him return it all to Purgatory. Quickly.”

“We need a door,” Sam added, stepping forward.

“You have everything you need at that lab. Get him to return there and compel him to give up the power.”

“But that door only opens in the eclipse, and that’s over,” Bobby, the eternal fountain of knowledge, added. 

“I'll make another. 3:59 Sunday morning, just before dawn. Be punctual. Don't thank me. Clean up your mess. Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start.” He glared at them each in turn, pointing a long bony finger. “Nice pickle chips, by the way.” Without another word, he too vanished. 

It took them a few hours to set the homeowners free and make their way back to the salvage yard. Alex, still feeling exhausted, crawled in the back with Sam and promptly passed out, waking up with her head in Sam’s lap. 

“Hey, we're home.” Sam gave her shoulder a shake and she yawned, sitting up with his help. None of them had asked her about what happened with Castiel, but she knew it was coming. Sure enough, once the four of them were in the house, Bobby turned to her. 

“Well, Al, what the hell happened with Cas? Why did he snatch you?”

“Does it matter? He wanted me to write down all the shit he did. At least that’s what he said, but I don’t think that was it.”

“We should put up more sigils. What if he comes back and tries to snatch her again?” Dean narrowed his eyes, his arms crossed and anxiety coming off him in waves. 

“Look, I think he was lonely. I think he wanted to feel connected to us again, to have someone understand him. The real Castiel is in there somewhere and he still wants to do the right thing.” 

Dean took a few angry steps toward her and drew in a breath, but the words died in his throat. Instead he shook his head. “I'm going to bed.” He turned and marched off up the stairs, the other three watching. 

“Look, why don’t we all get some sleep. We can figure this out in the morning, okay?” Bobby said to Sam and Alex, who both nodded their consent. Sam headed up to the spare room with Bobby following after, looking like he hadn't seen his own bed in days. 

Alex hesitated in the stillness of the kitchen. She poured herself a small shot of whiskey and tossed it back, still feeling like crap from being flown around all over the globe by Cas. She looked up at the ceiling and wondered what Castiel was up to now. Not bothering with the stairs, she grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch, falling fast asleep.

“You want some coffee with that?”

“Keep it down, Lexi’s still asleep. It’s six pm somewhere.” 

Alex vaguely made out the voices of Sam and Dean, but scrunched up her eyes, pulling the blanket up. 

“We got to hit the road. I mean, how are we supposed to get Cas to that lab by friggin' 3:59 a.m.?”

“We don’t.”

“What do you mean, ‘we don’t’?”

“I mean, we can't bring the horse to water, and we can't make it drink. Why fool ourselves?”

“Dean, look, I know you think that Cas is gone --”

“It’s ‘cause he is,” Dean interrupted and Alex could hear the tension in his voice.

“He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it,” Alex smiled at Sam’s words, feeling a warmth in her chest at knowing she wasn’t completely alone in her faith in Cas. 

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don't. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and you never gave up on me.”

“Yeah, and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?” 

This made Alex’s sleep-addled mind perk up.  _ What hallucinations _ ? She slowly began to sit up, not wanting to disturb the boys, blinking at the brightness in the room. Neither of them noticed her.

“What was I supposed to do?”

“How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?”

“Why? You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and -- and I thought --what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control.”

“What? What, exactly, is under control?”

Sam hesitated at that a moment before pushing on, “I know what's real and what's not.”

“Sam-”

“Dean, look, we can debate this once we deal with Cas.”

“Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my piehole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is!” Dean grumbled and turned to his laptop. 

Alex sauntered over and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, leaning into him a little by way of greeting. 

Dean let out a breath. “Hey. You gotta be kidding me. ‘Massacre at the campaign office of an incumbent Senator by a trench-coated man.’ There's security footage. Well, I think reaching Cas is, uh... out of the cards.” 

Alex and Sam came around to look at the laptop and saw the camera footage of Castiel smiling and looking deranged on screen.

“I need air.” Alex turned and headed out the door, hearing footsteps behind her. Sam caught up with her, grabbing her arm to halt her movement. 

She turned and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close and breathing him in. Sam ran a hand over her hair, resting his chin on her head. She’d give anything to fix Sam’s brain, Castiel’s heart, and Dean’s courage. She made herself laugh out loud till she couldn't breathe. 

“What is it?” Sam asked, concerned. He held her until her hysterical laugh died out. 

“Nothing, I just feel like Dorothy, Scarecrow.” And she could really use some magic slippers right now. 

“I don’t get it, but Cas will be okay. We'll figure it out.” 

Alex nodded against his chest. 

Sam tipped his head back, looking up at the morning clouds. “Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please.” 

Alex and Sam both looked up, waiting for the sound of wings or the rustle of a trench coat, but all was still and quiet. 

“Come on… he’s not answering. Let’s go inside, alright? And we gotta talk about this hallucination thing at some point, too,” Alex sighed, and Sam nodded as they both headed back into the house just a little more dejected.

Dean was still at his laptop, which was now making some truly disturbing squeaking noises, and without looking up he held out two glasses of whiskey for Sam and Alex.

“Only if you turn that off,” Sam replied and Dean rolled his eyes, shutting the laptop. 

Alex and Sam grabbed the glasses from him. Sam sat and clinked his glass with Dean’s, while Alex stood behind Sam, wracking her brain for a solution. 

“Sam?” The voice was barely above a whisper, but she’d know it anywhere. All three of them turned to see Castiel slumped against the wall of the kitchen, covered in burns and blood. 

“Cas?” Sam replied as they all stared in shock at him. 

“I heard your call. I need help.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, Okay so I think we all know what happens this chapter if you know the show, that being said this is an emotional chapter and after the emotional premier of the show tonight I hesitated posting but I really feel good about this one and wanted to share. Tread lightly and feel the feels. Love you all <3

Alex flew to Castiel's side, ducking to wrap his arm around her shoulder to support some of his weight. He looked like hell, the boils and burns on his face worse and his clothes splattered in blood. His blue eyes were bleeding and pleading as they darted around the room.   
  
Dean and Sam were hovering in front of him now, and Dean put a hand on his chin to hold his head up.   
  
"Hey Cas, are you with me?" Dean snapped his fingers in front of his face and his eyes seemed to focus on Dean.   
  
"Help me... I've made a terrible mistake…" Castiel let out a moan and cough that Alex felt wrack his body.    
  
"I'll get the car," Sam jumped up and Alex heard him calling for Bobby.   
  
"I've got you, Cas. Come on, we are gonna get this all fixed," Alex said soothingly. She looked at Dean, who moved to help Castiel from the other side. His face was pinched in tension but Alex focused her attention on Cas.   
  
"Bobby’s gonna meet us there, he's just getting a few things first." Sam opened the Impala’s back door and Alex slid in first, pulling Castiel after her and pillowing his head on her lap. He curled up in the fetal position and she gave his shoulder a squeeze. The boys wasted no time, hopping in the car and speeding off toward the lab. Castiel's eyes stared blankly ahead and Alex could tell he was somewhere else. She absentmindedly stroked his hair and tried to ignore the growing tension in the car.   
  
"How's he doing, Lexi?" Dean's eyes met hers in the rear view.   
  
"You're good, right Cas?" She looked down at him and he nodded slowly.  _ Stupid angel, _ she thought to herself, and he turned his eyes up to her and frowned a moment. "Just take it easy, Cas. Soon we'll get those souls out of you and back to where they belong, okay?" Her anger and frustration with Castiel had melted into nothing but fear and love for her friend. She knew he had fucked up, he now knew he had fucked up, and she figured if she needed to ream him out it could wait until they had him safely put back together.   
  
The torturous ride finally ended and they got to the old building with not much time to spare. Cas claimed he could move under his own steam, but Alex refused to let his arm go, insisting on guiding him to the room. Dean stayed close behind them, a hand at her back in case Cas passed out, which seemed entirely possible in his current state.   
  
"Move your asses, you idjits!" Bobby called from the lab room.   
  
"Going as fast as we can, Dad. Chill out!" Alex narrowed her brows as they inched down the staircase.   
  
"Come on, there you go," Dean held Castiel's shoulders and he and Alex slumped to the floor in a heap, with Cas leaning against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder.   
  
"We need the right blood. There's a small jar - end of the hall, s-supply closet," Cas managed to get out around his labored breathing.   
  
"Got it!" Sam ran down the hall in search of the blood. Dean and Bobby started reading the pages on opening the door, studying the words.   
  
"Alexandra?"   
  
"Yeah, Cas?"   
  
"You're in grave danger. I was not able to find Rosier. H-he is still out there." Castiel winced and gripped her hand. 

Alex glanced at Dean and Bobby and could tell they were both eavesdropping, the damn busybodies.   
  
"Don't worry about that now, Castiel, I can handle it later."   
  
"No, he is not to be underestimated. He is working with demons and it's possible even a few of my brothers. Promise me you will be careful."   
  
"Yeah, Cas, I promise."   
  
"Dean?" Castiel looked up and Dean turned to him, an uncomfortable squint to his face.   
  
"What? You need something else?"   
  
"No - I, I feel regret, about you and what I did to Sam."   
  
"Yeah, well, you should." Dean's words didn't come out with half the anger Alex expected. If anything they just sounded sad.   
  
"If there was time, if I was strong enough, I'd - I'd fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die." The two men locked eyes a moment, maybe seeing each other for the first time in a long time.   
  
"Okay." Dean seemed stuck and an awkward silence fell over them.    
  
"Is it working?" Castiel lifted an eyebrow.   
  
"Does it make you feel better?"   
  
"No. You?"   
  
"Not a bit," Dean sighed and turned back to Bobby. 

Castiel slumped against Alex again and she held him just a bit tighter.  
  
"You're not dying tonight, you know that, right? I'm not losing you, Cas, so don't give up on me yet."  
  
"Alexandra, your optimism is one of the many things I like about you. I think it's my time and I need to pay for the things I've done."  
  
"Fuck that. We have all paid for our sins ten times over. If you don't fight with every last bit of energy you have I will bring you back myself to kick your ass."  
  
"I will do my best, Alexandra. You have my word, for whatever that's worth." Cas gave a little moan of pain and Alex could see a bulge under his trench coat, as if the monsters were trying to claw their way out. "Will you sing that song? The one about the bird?" Castiel asked in a whisper, and Alex cleared her throat before singing in a low, soft tone.  
  
" _Blackbird singing in the dead of night- take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free. Blackbird fly... Blackbird fly... into the light of the dark black night_..." 

Alex wiped a tear away before any of them saw and she looked around, noting that Sam still wasn't back. Dean went to look for him, and came back with the blood, but no sign of Sam.   
  
"What's up with Sam?" Alex asked and Dean just shook his head, glaring back at the door. Bobby painted the large sigil on the wall using the jar of blood, standing back to admire his work. The eclipse was becoming visible through the high window panes now.    
  
"Okay, step right up, Cas." Dean and Bobby helped lift Cas off Alex and the three of them guided him to stand in front of the sigil. Cas swayed a little and Alex would have moved to hold him up if not for Dean's firm hand on her arm holding her back. Bobby recited the Latin, and the room quivered and shook as the tiles cracked and broke away over the sigil. The light was blinding and Alex shielded her eyes as a beam of light burst from Castiel's chest and poured into the vacuum-like void in the wall. She couldn't look any longer, and she shut her eyes until there was a sudden bang sound, then someone hit the floor.    
  
"Cas?" Dean and Alex both moved to the still body sprawled out on the floor.   
  
"Is he breathing?" Dean whispered.   
  
"No." Bobby answered, putting a hand in front of Castiel's mouth.   
  
"Maybe angels don't need to breathe." Dean's voice held a tiny flicker of hope, but Alex felt a hole opening up in her chest and she clutched at the front of his trench coat.   
  
"He's gone," Bobby's tone was soft and somehow, that made it all start to feel real.   
  
"You're wrong, Dad, he isn't gone. He's in there. Cas? Come on buddy. Cas!" Alex shook him now.   
  
"Damn it!" Dean stood up and run his hands through his hair. "Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?"   
  
Alex felt a shifting under her hands and a gasp of air as Castiel's eyes flew wide open.   
  
"Cas! Hey, easy does it, I got you." Alex was practically shaking in relief, easing him up to sitting.   
  
"That was unpleasant." Castiel shook his head a moment and her and Dean let out a simultaneous laugh of relief.   
  
"Let's get him up. Easy, there." Dean crouched down by his side again.

They moved slowly as Castiel stood, brushing off his clothing a moment and seeming more steady on his feet.   
  
"I'm alive," he said, matter of factly.   
  
"Looks like it," Bobby smiled warmly, giving Alex a wink.   
  
"I'm astonished. Thank you - all of you."   
  
"We were mostly... just trying to save the world," Bobby shrugged but put a bit of that fatherly glare on Cas who averted his eyes.   
  
"I'm ashamed. I really overreached."   
  
"Ya think!" Dean scoffed.    
  
"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you," he said, his eyes darting from Dean to Alex.   
  
"All right, well, one thing at a time. Come on. Let's get you out of here. Come on," Dean's face was an unreadable mask.   
  
"I mean it, Dean," Castiel frowned as if Dean was dismissing him.   
  
"He knows, Cas, and I know you're sorry. Now let's go find Sam and get home, okay?" Alex smiled at him and rubbed a hand on his shoulder. Cas bent over in sudden pain and gripped the metal table in one hand.    
  
"You need to run... NOW! I- I can't hold them back!" Castiel spat out through gritted teeth, shoving Alex away from him. She stumbled into Dean.   
  
"Hold who back?" Dean asked warily, firm hands digging into her shoulders.   
  
"They held on inside me. Dean, they're so strong." Castiel gasped for breath now.   
  
"Who, Cas?" Alex felt her heart about to thump out of her chest as Castiel seemed to twist and contort in on himself. A black substance started leaking from his hairline, mouth and eyes. God, those beautiful, blue, pleading eyes.   
  
"LEVIATHAN! I can't fight them. Run!" Castiel pleaded but Alex’s feet were rooted to the ground.   
  
"Go! Go get Sam! Go get Sam!" Dean pulled Alex behind him, pushing her toward the door when suddenly Cas went ominously still.   
  
"Too late," a strange, light voice came from Castiel.   
  
"Cas?" Dean tipped his head cautiously, one hand still holding Alex back.   
  
Castiel lifted his head and a manic grin stretched his face. "Cas is - he's gone. He's dead. We run the show now. Ah. Oh, this is going to be so much fun." 

Bobby took a step towards him, and was flung back to the ground.   
  
"Dad!" Alex called and moved over to where he sat, shaking his head but seemingly okay.   
  
"How many of you ass-clowns are in there? A hundred? More?" Dean kept his voice as steady and casual as he could, but Alex was quite certain he was having the same internal freak-out she was. 

The black fluid dripped from Castiel all over now, as if it was going to burst from every pore. "Your vessel's gonna explode, ain't it? Wouldn't do anything too strenuous. In fact, I'd call it a day, head on home, huh?"    
  
"We'll be back. For you." Castiel, or not-Castiel, stumbled by them, flinging Alex and Dean to the floor on his way past. Alex moaned a moment, shaking her head and looking at the trail of water and black slime left in his wake. She heard the faint sound of Sam yelling something in the distance and the three of them scrambled to their feet, padding down the narrow hallway. Sam was pressed up against a brick wall, eyes scrunched shut and seemingly pleading for his life.   
  
"No! It’s not true. No!" 

Dean rushed in front of him, shaking him hard, then slapping him across the face.   
  
"Sam! You hearing me?" Dean searched Sam's face and kept a firm hand pressed to his chest. 

Sam's eyes darted all around the room, frantically. 

"Whoa. Look at me. Hey. All right, we got to button this up. Come on, let’s get out of here. Come on." Dean got Sam to focus on him and his breathing steadied. 

Alex shot a glance to Bobby who looked at her with real concern.  _ Cas _ ... Alex bolted from the door at a sprint, running down the hall and ignoring the calls from Dean and Bobby behind her.   
  
She just had to get to him before those Leviathan ran off with him. Her chest heaved and she nearly slipped on the slime but managed to keep her footing, picking up the pace as she was greeted by the bright morning sun.   
  
"Cas!" she called. Following the trail away from the building and passing through a broken down gate, she came to the edge of a river. There he was, walking into the river, arms held out to each side and trench coat spread almost like wings. "Castiel!" she called again, and began wading into the water after him. The mud was thick under her feet, sucking her boots down as she struggled to reach him.   
  
"Lexi!" Dean's voice behind her urged her forward.    
  
"Al, get back here!" Bobby called as well but all she could think about was getting to Cas and hauling his ass out of the water. Suddenly, Cas slipped below the murky surface, and she froze, holding her breath. A cloud of black unfurled through the water where Castiel went under. 

Alex felt hands pulling at her arm, but couldn't seem to process whose they were.  
  
"Castiel! Castiel!" she called. If he could hear her he would know to come back. He had to come back. _Please Cas, please, please, please._   
  
"Lexi, come on." Dean's voice was firm in her ear as he dragged her bodily towards the shore.  
  
"Dean, no, stop! We have to get him out! CAS!" Alex felt the panic rising up in her chest, threatening to swallow her whole. This couldn't be. _This isn't how this ends, he has to come back, he always comes back._

Dean didn't say a word as he dragged her kicking and screaming onto the bank. She still tried to pull away - Cas was drowning and they were all just standing around.   
  
"Stop, damn it," Dean growled at her, lifting her off her feet. "He's gone, Lexi. You hear me? He's gone." 

She didn't want to hear it, didn't want to believe it. Dean held her firmly to his chest while she gasped for breath and stared out at the still water where he disappeared. There was no sign of her guardian angel. He was gone.   
  
She slumped in Dean's arms and he lowered her to the ground. Dean began shushing her and running a hand over the top of her head. "Come on, Lexi, don't cry." 

_ When did I start crying? _ The tears falling from her cheeks were now blurring her vision. 

Dean moved around to kneel in front of her, wiping at her face with his thumbs. She couldn't take it, it was too much. She shoved him away so he stumbled back a step. She sat on the water’s edge, knees pulled up to her chest, and watched for any ripple or sign of life.   
  
She heard the boys talking behind her, but couldn't seem to process any of the words. Dean moved from her side and she glanced up at him as he pulled something tan and soaking wet from the weeds nearby. He wrung it out and folded the wet fabric in his arms, a pained look on his face.   
  
"So he's gone," Dean said, staring at the trench coat in his hands.   
  
"Yeah... rest in peace. If that's in the cards." Bobby let out a sigh.   
  
"Dumb son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, staring at the coat. Alex fought to draw a ragged breath.   
  
"Well, he was friends with us, wasn’t he? Can’t get much dumber than that. Come on, those things will be coming up for air soon," Bobby rested a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. She couldn't seem to make herself move.   
  
"I'm staying here. I'll meet you at home later." The words sounded hollow even as she said them.   
  
"Come on, I’m not leaving you here, Al."   
  
"Lex, let’s just go, okay?" Sam's shaky voice came from behind her but she couldn't bear to look at him, at any of them.   
  
"Just go. I’ll be fine." She couldn't handle the looks on their faces - the muffled grief none of them were letting out.   
  
"Lexi..."   
  
"Dean, go... just go, all of you." She stared at him now and he pursed his lips. Bobby dropped his keys in the sand next to her and without another word, the three of them treaded back to the cars.    
  
She felt the slightest bit of relief to be alone. She sat on the bank and let the tears fall in waves, sobbing till she couldn't cry anymore. Her chest hurt and her head was pounding. As she watched the water, a part of her still hoped it wasn't true. He could still be alive. Another, more sane, part of her knew the vessel and her friend were long gone.   
  
"Stupid, angel... you weren't supposed to leave me yet. I can't do this without you, the boys can't do this without you. Don't you know how much we need you?" Her voice was hoarse but she managed to get the words out. Feeling her legs going numb, she finally pulled herself up and brushed the sand from her still-damp jeans. There was a funny feeling in her chest, a tingling, a warning, telling her something was wrong. The water hadn't changed and there was no sign of monsters about.   
  
She tried to place the feeling. She didn't know if it was intuition, or maybe some deep connection between an angel and vessel but a tiny part of her could feel Castiel. She felt it in her bones, he wasn’t dead. A calm flooded over her at this sudden realization. She knew it was crazy and that there was no proof. It could be just the denial stages of grief, but still, it was there - hope. She decided not share this hope with the boys just yet. She tucked it away in her heart and held onto it, and prayed that it was real.   
  
Alex made a slow trek back towards the car, feeling the weight of the last twenty-four hours hitting her hard. She looked up to see Dean leaning against the side of the Chevelle, watching her coming out of the woods.   
  
"Hey, Sunshine. Ready to hit the road?" Dean quirked an eyebrow at her.    
  
"Why are you here?" She didn't need a babysitter.   
  
"You really think we'd leave you all alone with black goo monsters on the loose? Come on, let’s go, I'm starved." Dean opened the passenger door and just stared at her.   
  
"You didn't have to wait. I can handle myself," she mumbled, moving toward the driver’s side.   
  
"You're the one always saying we are family, and family takes care of each other. So no, I don't care if you can handle yourself or not, that isn't the point, now is it? Just get your ass in the car already." Dean go into the passenger side and with a huff, Alex slid into the driver’s seat. The Chevelle roared to life underneath her.   
  
They sped down the highway. Alex blinked at the bright light, her eyelids heavy and head still aching.   
  
"Here." Dean handed her two aspirin and popped open a bottle of water for her. She rolled her eyes but took them anyway, the cool water feeling great on her dry throat. She pulled over at the first convenience store they came across and gassed up the car while Dean grabbed donuts and coffees.   
  
As they drank their coffees and devoured every last donut in the box, they both settled into a peaceful quiet. Alex felt a bit stuck in her head, running through the past few days and trying to see if there was anything she could have done differently. Glancing over, she saw Dean staring out the window, a stiff look on his face.   
  
"Those are definitely your brooding and pensive shoulders," Alex grinned a little at him, and he turned to give her a small scowl.   
  
"Are you quoting those god awful books to me? Really? And I think you’re confusing me with Sam."   
  
"Nah, that brooding pensive thing runs in your family, I think." 

Dean scoffed at her and shook his head, but he cracked a small smile, looking back out the window. 

"I'm sorry, Dean... This can't be easy for you either."   
  
"Don't worry ‘bout it, Lexi. Let’s just get home and regroup." Dean was thrumming his fingers on the the door now and seemed fidgety. 

She reached across the small leather bench seat until her fingertips brushed against his knuckles. Without looking, she felt the hand turn over and open up to hers. She gave his warm, calloused hand a squeeze and was incredibly thankful that Dean had decided to stay and wait for her, though she wasn't willing to admit that just yet.   
  
Only worry about the things you can do something about, right? That's what Bobby always used to say to her as a kid, and it was still true. So the first item of business would be checking on Sam, and then researching the hell out of Leviathan. 

With a plan in place, she felt just a slight easing on the tension in her chest as they travelled the last few miles home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey All! sorry for the delay getting this chapter out, I paused this fic to write the ending to my other fic, so I am back to full steam on this again. Lots of action hope you enjoy!  
> <3

Alex sat down on the couch next to Sam and leaned her head against his shoulder, while Bobby rifled through papers while Dean pulled up a chair across from Sam. Sam looked skittish and somehow exhausted, even though he had been asleep for hours.

"Hydrate, and uh, protein-ate," Dean nodded, handing him a water bottle and protein bar. Sam took them with a grim smile.

"Breakfast in bed?"

"Don't get used to it. Let me see that hand?" Dean held out his hand for Sam who offered it cautiously. Sam winced and looked over Dean's shoulder a second while Dean undid the dressing. The stitches were still red and irritated but Alex couldn't see any signs of infection. She handed Dean the whiskey, and he poured a little over the wound. Sam sucked in a deep breath at the sting and Alex rubbed a calming hand at the base of his neck. Sam patted her knee with his free hand and sighed.

Sam asked about the Leviathan but Bobby hadn't found any info yet. Alex took Sam's hand from Dean and wrapped a new bandage on it. Dean got up to pace the room a moment. Alex watched him. He moved like a caged animal, a slow, agitated sway back and forth.

"Now onto our big problem. How're you doin'? And do not say okay." Dean crossed his arms and fixed Sam with his most stern older-brother glare.

"I'm not okay," Sam replies simply.

"You think?"

"Hey, take it easy, Dean," Alex scolded.

"There's nothing easy about it, Lexi, okay? He acted like he had everything under control." Dean and Alex glared at each other a moment, but there was no heat to it.

Sam looked between them. "I get it. I'm sorry. Look I- I didn't exactly want to crack up, you know?" His voice broke at the end. Alex put a calming hand on his forearm and he covered her hand with his.

"What the hell happened back there?" Dean asked, a little calmer now.

"Well, it's not just flashbacks anymore." Sam's eyes darted around the room to the three expectant faces, but Alex noticed his eyes kept moving to a spot toward the kitchen.

"Well then, what?" Bobby asked, his own brow becoming increasingly furrowed.

"It's more like... I'm seeing through the cracks."

"What does that mean?" Dean could obviously tell Sam was avoiding coming out and just saying what it was. 

"It means I'm having a difficult time figuring out what's real."

"Hallucinations?" Alex supplied.

"For starters."

"Well for starters, if you're tripping Hell's Bell's why would you hide it?" Dean shook his head. Alex was glad Dean wasn't getting too pissed at Sam.

"I wasn’t hiding it, Dean, I – I was just not talking about it. I mean, it seemed like you three had enough going on as it was. Look, I – I just figured, try to hold onto the safety bar and ride it out, you know? But it’s getting more specific.

Dean walked over to Bobby's desk and poured two glasses of whiskey for himself and Bobby. "As in specifically what?" Bobby took the proffered glass and Alex kept her eyes glued to Sam, seeing his eyes dart around the room again. 

Sam looked at Alex a second and then back to Dean before he began to tell them all exactly what happened. Sam had been hallucinating Lucifer, which wasn't much of a shocker. Apparently, Lucifer told Sam that he never escaped the cage and that all of this was an illusion Lucifer created to torture Sam.

"What the hell, Sam?" Dean said when Sam finished telling them.

"I told you." Sam said in a small, tired voice.

"I mean seriously, how do you… how do you argue with that?" Dean swirled the whiskey in his glass and started pacing again. Bobby leaned against the desk, watching Sam carefully. Alex could tell that Sam was feeling like a bug under a microscope.

"I know, it's a problem."

"Well now wait, I got it. Why would the Devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the Cage?"

"’Cause as he puts it," Sam glanced to the empty space by the kitchen again, "you can’t torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away."

"Okay, fine. But this Malibu dream mansion that he makes for you to take away is this post-apocalyptic mess?"

"Dean has a point - this is a pretty shitty fake-life scenario if he made it up," Alex added.

Sam's eyes fixated on the empty spot again and Dean watched him a moment. "Wait. Are you seeing him right now?" Sam just nodded. Dean looked around, wary. "You know he's not real, right?"

"He says the same thing about you," Sam said in a hollow voice, looking up at Dean. Silence filled the small room a moment.

Bobby finished his drink and looked at them, "I'm going back to work."

They were really screwed this time. Sam's issue wasn't supernatural, it was psychological. Alex wondered for a moment if she should grab some psych books from the library or start doing a search online. Her phone chose that moment to buzz and she hopped up to run outside and grab the call.

"Hello?"

"Hello, beautiful," a silky voice purred on the line. She looked at the phone, but didn't know the number. She was pretty sure she recognized the voice but couldn't place it.

"Flattery will get you nowhere. Who is this?"

"I'm hurt that you don't remember me."

"I'm not asking again," she growled, not in the mood to be fucked with.

"Well, your little blonde girlfriend has been trailing me for weeks now - does that give you a good enough hint?" 

Alex's blood went cold in her veins.  _ Rosier _ . "How did you get this number?" Her voice dropped along with her stomach.

"Not of import. I ditched your little friend, by the way. Long gone, though she is persistent, I will give her that." 

Alex breathed a small sigh of relief that he hadn't got his hands on Sara again. "I'm going to find you, you know, and when I do, I will end you," she growled into the phone.

"You’re right on one part, you will find me. But be warned, beautiful, when you do... you'll be mine." He said this matter-of-factly as if he didn't have a shadow of doubt what was going to happen. The line went dead, leaving her standing in the yard staring down at her phone. 

"Well, what the fuck?" she sighed out loud to no one. She really didn't have time to worry about some creepy stalker demon. Couldn't she cut a fucking break for once? Maybe it was time she talked to the boys about it. 

She called Sara first to be sure that she was okay, and she was relieved to hear her on the line, frustrated at losing Rosier but no worse for wear. Alex convinced her to take a haunting case in New England and didn't tell her about the random creepy call.

She moved back inside the house and could hear Bobby and Dean talking, causing her to pause in the dark hallway.

"Well, at least he's not curled up under the sink," Bobby's voice was lowered.

"Yeah, no, he's just sitting there silently field-stripping his weapon." 

Alex wasn't sure why she hesitated - eavesdropping was become a bad habit of hers. Still, she needed to muster up the courage to tell Bobby and Dean about Rosier.

"What are you doing?" Bobby asked and she could hear Dean's footsteps across the floor.

"Turning on his GPS, case he decides to fly the cuckoo’s nest."

"And you? How are you doing?"

"Seriously Bobby, it ain’t like he’s hexed, you know? I mean, what if it’s the kind of crazy you can’t fix?"

"Yeah, I’m – I’m worried too, but humor me for a second. How are you?"

Dean paused. "Who cares? Don’t you think our mailbox is a little full right now? I’m fine." Dean's reply was curt and final.

"Right. And weren’t you pissed at him when he said the same thing just a couple hours before he spilled his marbles all over the floor?"

Alex could hear the scrape of a mug and pouring of a fresh batch of coffee. "Yeah, well. I’m not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I’m fine. Really."

She heard footsteps and Dean pulling out a chair at the kitchen table.

"Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, you chased away the girl you love, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine." Bobby's voice was thick with sarcasm.

"Good," Dean grunted.

"Course, if at any time you want to decide that’s utter horse crap, well I’ll be where I always am. Right here." Alex peeked around the corner and saw a small grin on Dean's face, his back to Bobby.

"What, you want to do couples’ yoga, or you want to get back to hunting the big bads?"

"Shut up. Idjit."

"And for the record, Bobby, I'm over Lisa... it’s done."

"Who said I was talking about Lisa?" Bobby muttered as he walked past Dean, patting his shoulder and heading into the living room. Alex froze now - he couldn't be talking about her? First of all, Dean was not and hadn't been in love with her. Secondly, Alex had been pretty damn careful to keep things with her and Dean private. Well, except from a busybody Sasquatch. This was not the time to talk to them. She chickened out as she entered the kitchen, clearing her throat. Dean nearly jumped a mile but gave an awkward smile when he saw it was her.

"Coffee?" she asked, pointing to the pot and he shook his head no. She poured herself a mug and grabbed her laptop, sitting across from Dean. She pulled up the American Psychological Association website and began searching PTSD symptoms and treatments.

The next two weeks were fairly uneventful. Alex researched till her eyes burned, looking into Rosier when the others weren't around or looking into anything that could help track Leviathan or help Sam. The ache of Dean's rejection still sat heavy on her chest, even worse now with quiet days and very little action. Nights were the worst, though. The bed felt empty and cold without Dean beside her and she craved his warmth and strength. More than that though, she missed his humor, the way he made her laugh and her heart feel lighter. She tried to shake it off, knowing that with time it had to get better. She couldn't feel this much hurt forever, right?

She also began running with Sam twice a day. It seemed to help him keep his head clear. Alex wasn't feeling terribly hungry these days and the running helped clear her head, too. She stood in front of the mirror after getting out of the shower and swore she looked a little thinner, but that was probably just her eyes playing a trick on her. Still, she pulled on her tightest jeans with ease and headed down the stairs to find Dean coming in, arms full of groceries.

"So it looks like we got some bad news for a change. Stockville, North Kansas, most of a high school swim team got mangled to death in their locker room," Sam reported, sitting at the kitchen table in front of his laptop. Alex came over and read the article over his shoulder. Bobby gave her a funny look before replying to Sam.

"Cop talk on the wire’s kind of garbled, saying it looks like some kind of wild animal attack. They’re saying that whatever attacked them’s about the size of a linebacker."

"It’s a lead, Dean." Sam looked up to Dean, who left the groceries on the counter.

"All right, but if you think you’re going out on a hunt..."

Sam was quick to interrupt. "No, I know. I’m not. But you are. Look, Bobby’s running the hub, I’m – I’m 5150’d, which leaves you and Alex to follow this thing up."

"Sam, you’re in the middle of a psychotic break." Dean rubbed a hand across his forehead.

"It’s a couple hours’ drive, Dean, and it could be a Leviathan thing," Sam tried to reason.

"Nah, if you think I’m leaving you here alone..."

It was Bobby's turn to interrupt, "Hey. What am I, chopped brains on toast? I can eyeball the kid. Go. Work off some of these nerves on something useful. Same for you, Al."

Dean and Alex looked at each other then before Dean shrugged. "Fine."

"Fine with me," Alex replied as well, feeling apprehensive. Why was it that the first chance to get out of the house, and it was alone time with Dean? 

She packed her bag and they were on the road that night, pulling into the sleepy town around midnight. Luckily, there was a motel still open and they grabbed a room by the hour. Alex questioned the benefits of sleeping in the Impala while she eyed the room.

"Sorry, this is the best I could find still open." Dean glanced over at her apologetically. It had been a quiet six-hour ride. Dean had seemed in his own head, but so had she.

"It's fine, slept in worse.” She kicked off her boots and crawled on top of the covers, deciding sleeping in the sheets was a bad plan. Dean did the same, climbing into the other bed. Alex lay on her back, staring at the stained ceiling as fluorescent pink light streamed through the corners of the curtains. How could someone be so close and feel so far away?

"It's cold as fuck in here," Dean grumbled. 

Alex couldn't disagree. Fall was setting in now and nights were getting cooler. She doubted the motel owner bothered with the heat yet.

"Yeah. I'm not getting under these covers though," Alex said, crossing her arms and turning on her side to face Dean. 

Dean was staring at her in the dark, the same unreadable look on his face. "Fuck this," Dean grumbled again and got up off his bed, padded across the room and crawled up behind Alex.

"What the hell, Dean?" she asked, twisting to look at him, but he quickly spooned up behind her and wrapped one arm around her waist, another under her head.

"It's freezing in here and we are not using these blankets." Dean nestled his head down on the pillow behind her and she had to admit, the heat radiating off of him was warming her up.

"Big baby," she mumbled, fighting back a small inkling of a smile. She couldn't read anything into this - Dean was just cold. Still, being wrapped up with him, she felt all her tension ebb away. Even the smell of him helped her relax. She decided to shelve the little part of her mind that told her this was only going to make getting over Dean harder and let that be a problem for another day.

They woke early, heading over to the crime scene to talk to local law enforcement. It was a nasty, bloody scene and the black goo was unfortunately a good indicator of Leviathan. They were likely posing as swim kids so it was a matter of tracking them now.   
  
"Well, we are positive for ick. Same kind of stuff that came out of Cas, and, uh, two of the swim kids were missing – they stole one of their parents’ cars." Dean was on the phone as they made their way back home.   
  
"I don’t know, it makes sense, right? Anyway, uh, state trooper’s got surveillance cam on the kids about six hours old, of them gassing up just south of Dakota line, so I’m headed back your way. We’ll just track them from Bobby’s." Alex listened to Dean as she flipped through an old text that she thought might mention Leviathan. Dean continued, "Hey! How are you doing?" She looked up at this and studied Dean's face, trying to tell what Sam's response was. "Okay. Well hang in there, all right?"   
  
Dean hung up and Alex looked up again. "Sam okay?"   
  
"Yeah, he's fine, apparently." Dean shook his head and Alex quirked a brow, knowing “fine” was a relative term. It was then that Dean's phone rang again and he looked at it in confusion before answering. "Hello?"   
  
"Who?... Okay, alright, hold on." Dean moved the phone and put it on speaker.   
  
"Alexandra, you there?"   
  
"Celeste? What are you doing calling Dean?" Alex asked, knowing the voice immediately.   
  
"I told your boy Dean to put me on speaker ‘cause I want a witness to what I have to say, cause I know you, girl, and you'll just brush me off."   
  
"I wouldn't-"   
  
"Now you listen here, Alexandra, you are in danger. I saw you surrounded in fire. You know I don't get these feelings often, but I am telling you there is a reaper at your back and I see you burning." Celeste's tone was deadly serious and Dean's face hardened at the words.   
  
"Celeste, you know not all your dreams come true. I’m sure I’ll be fine. But I promise I’ll keep my guard up." She’d been friends with Celeste for so many years and she had only called to warn her of danger once before. Granted, Celeste had been right the time she was shot in that motel with the boys. Cas had brought her back from the brink of death that time.   
  
"Well I figured if YOU wouldn't take me seriously maybe your boy would, so you hear me, Winchester, you take care of my girl." She could envision the finger wave through the phone and Alex rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, and watch yourself." With that, Celeste hung up the phone.   
  
"That was ominous," Dean frowned at the phone. He knew Alex had a friend who was a witch but he preferred to keep her at arm's length, never trusting any witches, no matter how many times Alex promised that Celeste harmed no bunnies.   
  
"Yeah. Don't worry, she is wrong on this stuff a lot, okay?"   
  
"A witch calls to say she saw you die and you don't want me to worry?" He looked at her incredulously.   
  
"Like I said, she is often wrong. Besides, how does one avoid fire? You want me to walk around with a fire extinguisher?" Alex chuckled but Dean continued his brooding scowl and stayed silent. He was quiet the whole way back to home base. When they got there, Alex noticed her dad's car wasn't there, which was strange. They went inside and the house was silent, no sign of Sam or Bobby.   
  
"Sam? Sammy? Sam? Oh, crap," Dean called out as he walked through the house. "He's gone."   
  
"Alright, calm down. Maybe he just went out with Dad." Alex called Bobby, but he didn't answer. "You can track him right?"   
  
"Yeah, hold on.” Dean pulled up his GPS and they saw Sam's dot moving. "Sam definitely flew the damn cuckoo's nest. You stay here." Dean headed for the door.   
  
"Excuse me, since when do you give me orders?" Alex scowled at him, following him through the front door.   
  
"Since you got a call from a witch saying you would, oh I dunno- DIE. You should stay here where it's safe and call me once Bobby answers."   
  
"Dean, it's not like you're going into battle. You're fetching Sam from wherever he ran off to. I can come."   
  
"No, I mean it, Lexi. Plus, you'll be more help here tracking down those Leviathan." 

Damn Dean and his logic.   
  
"Fine, get out of here. Just go easy on him, okay? He's- he's not himself." 

Dean nodded, climbing back into the front seat of the Impala and tearing off down the road. Alex groaned but went back inside, trying Bobby's phone again. Finally she got a text from him that he was heading to the hospital to check on Jody and that she was fine but he would text back soon.   
  
Well, that was good news, minus Jody being in the hospital. She decided to trust her dad on this one and let him handle it. She replied, telling him to call her if he needed her. 

She searched for any news on the missing kids, and then when that turned up nothing, she started cleaning up the house. She tossed in a load of dishes and straightened up the living room. She hated waiting - waiting on word from Dean, waiting on word from Bobby… there was nothing worse than being left behind. She rested her head on her dad's desk after poring over an old text. She would just rest her eyes a bit, that was all.   
  
She woke to an alarm going off and a crackling sound. It was hard to breathe. Her eyes stung when she opened them, and she looked around to see the house was full of smoke. She coughed and shot up out of her chair, as flames licked up the side of the window and there was an ominous glow from the kitchen.  _ Well FUCK! _   
  
She ran toward the front door only to see flames growing higher and shadow of person in the salvage yard. She would never make it through the front door so she ran back to the living room, but that window was fully engulfed in flames too. She had two options, go up the stairs and jump where there was obviously an arsonist waiting after the fall, or go downstairs and try to get out the cellar door. Grabbing a shotgun from the table, she went for option two and ran down to the basement. The house was going up fast and the fire was coming from all sides. The cellar was quickly filling with smoke as she made her way toward the cellar doors.   
  
She heard a cracking sound a moment too late as a huge beam crashed down over her. She shielded her face and dove for the floor, but the beam landed on her head and shoulder before rolling off down her back and landing on her left calf. She groaned as her body slammed into the cement floor. Pain radiated through her back and leg and she panted for breath, only sucking in more smoke. She had to get out of there, she could deal with injuries later. Turning, she saw a stream of blood on her calf and yanked it out from under the beam.   
  
Once free, she scrambled for the metal doors and saw the glow of flames on the other side. She had no choice now. She burst through the metal doors, stumbling out onto the grass as she army crawled a few feet before turning onto her back, fighting for air. She lifted her head and tried to assess the damage, which looked substantial from here.  Adrenaline was certainly staving off her pain, but that wouldn't last. Her pant leg was soaked in blood and still oozing by the minute. She needed to get somewhere safe. She heard voices from the front yard - definitely not good. She tried to stand and quickly realized her left leg wasn't going to hold much weight. All she had on her was the shotgun.   
  
_ Come on, Singer, you got this _ . Dragging her back leg and clutching the shotgun, she moved to the closest car in the yard she could find and lay down in the dirt behind it, not wanting to risk opening the creaky door and attracting attention. She pulled her knife from her pocket and cut away some of her canvas coat, using the strip to tie just below her knee to slow the bleeding. She had blood dripping down her head and she could feel a wet spot in her hair, but it wasn't too bad. Her lungs burned from the smoke and looking at her forearms, she realized they were covered in burns from the cellar door. She leaned back in the dirt, but sucked in a breath as her shoulder screamed in pain. She heard the voices again coming closer, and she stayed as still as she could. Looking under the frame of the car, she could see a pair of black shoes and jeans.   
  
"Anyone in the house?"   
  
"I don't think so. If they escaped we would have seen them and if they are in there, well, they're dead."   
  
"Edgar, are you going to wait here to see if the Winchesters show up?"   
  
"Yes, I'll wait for them. You should get back to the hospital, though."   
  
"Will do. Enjoy your meal." The second set of shoes moved away. Alex fought a cough back and turned to look at the house, now fully engulfed in flames all the way to the second story. Home… her home was burning. She couldn't begin to process it. Everything was in that house.    
  
She shut her eyes and felt unconsciousness fighting for control. She wavered in and out of it for a long time. Her body was shivering from the cold and blood loss but she knew the man was out there, and if he was a monster the shotgun would do her no good. At some point the fire died down and the night air went still. She heard a familiar rumble... Dean.   
  
She struggled to rise, but couldn't stand, so she opted for crawling toward the front of the house. She had to warn the boys.   
  
"Any sign of them?" Sam's voice came from up ahead.   
  
"That place was torched. Somebody knew what they were doing." She heard Dean, and Alex wanted to call out but her voice was completely shot from the smoke.   
  
"You think Bobby was back there? Alex?" Sam sounded anxious now.   
  
"I don't know."    
  
_ I'm right here, damn it! _ Again, she struggled to stand and collapsed back to the cold earth.   
  
"Bobby! Alex!" Sam called out, walking in the opposite direction from her. She could just make out Dean's voice on the phone.   
  
"You and Lexi cannot be in that crater back there. I can’t... If you’re gone, if she's gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good! Now you said you’d be here, she said she would stay here. Where the hell are you?"   
  
"Dean," she tried to call his name but the words died on the air. She heard them both calling for her and her dad now.   
  
A warm but threatening voice caught her ear, "Winchester. Congratulations. Apparently you two are competent enough to warrant annihilating. I’d take it as a compliment." 

Alex used all her strength to pull herself to her feet and lean over the hood of the car in front of her. There was the man, or likely monster, standing across the yard in a showdown with Sam.  _ Now or never _ . She cocked the shotgun and fired, hitting him in the side of the head and reeling back from the force of the blow.   
  
Sam wheeled around and spotted her as she slumped against the car, giving him a weak nod. She looked at Edgar whose face was covered in black ooze. It twisted and contorted, widening to show rows of jagged teeth before crumpling back to the face of a man. 

Dean ran up to him from the side but the monster grabbed Dean and hurled him against a car with a sickening crunch. Sam ran at the monster next, swinging a punch at his face. Alex was helpless, unable to get her traitorous legs to engage.   
  
"Dean, NOW!" Sam yelled and she looked to Dean who hit a hoist button. Just as a car came falling down on Edgar, he slammed Sam in the side of the head with a metal crowbar, sending Sam sprawling back just out of the way. Alex saw black ooze coming from under the car and watched Dean scramble to Sam's side, clutching his leg. She didn't think Dean saw her. Having put all her energy into firing that shot, she slumps back to the ground and drifted on a sea of pain and exhaustion.   
  
She barely registered Dean's frantic voice, she wasn't even able to muster the concern when she heard the sirens come and then the sirens go. She wondered idly if she was going to die in the salvage yard. Dying at home didn't sound so bad.   
  
Then, strong arms were under her, hoisting her up and she blinked, registering a scruffy looking face.   
  
"Hang on, Al, I got ya."   
  
"Dad," she huffed out in relief, closing her eyes again and resting her head on his chest. "Boys... ambulance."   
  
"Yeah, I'm on it. I gotta go bust them out but first we gotta get you to a safe hospital."   
  
"Safe hospital?" She was just conscious enough to know that didn't sound right.   
  
"Leviathan at the hospital. Don't you worry, Al. I have it covered."   
  
Bobby put her down gently on the back seat of his car. She gasped out, "No, let's get the boys first." She had a small coughing fit that sent pain shooting through her body.   
  
"Like hell," Bobby grumbled.    
  
"Dad, these things are bad news. Please, I'll be alright, I just need stitches and some fluids." At least she hoped that was all she needed, and most of that triage, Bobby could handle. Bobby checked her leg and wrapped a quick bandage around it and gave her a bottle of water, which she happily chugged to clear her sore throat. She was already feeling better being off the cold ground.   
  
"You sure you can hold out till we get the boys? It's gonna be a few hours before I can properly treat you." Bobby looked at her skeptically.   
  
"I got this." She threw him a thumbs up before leaning back on the seat. He must have been convinced because she heard the door close and the rumble of the engine as they headed out on the road. 

_ Coming for you, boys.  _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!  
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter, they all need to heal up a bit.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Song Credit : It'll All Work Out by Tom Petty (I highly suggest listening to this song when you read this.)

Alex hurt. No, scratch that - she fucking hurt. Rescuing the boys from the hospital had been a bit of a blur and she had a tiny tingling of guilt for not being more useful, but she was too tired to dwell on it. They headed for Rufus’s old hunting cabin in the mountains. It was a long drive but fully off the grid. Alex hadn’t been there since she was a teenager on a hunt with Rufus. They had holed up there when a big storm had rolled in and were snowed in for a week. She had almost forgotten the cabin existed, but leave it too her dad to always have a plan B.

Bobby had carried Sam inside, which, considering Sam's size, was impressive. Alex and Dean limped in behind them, the lot of them like dogs licking their wounds.   
  
All she could think about was bed and sleep, hopefully in that order, when Bobby's voice cut across the room, "You... sit." She was too tired to disobey a direct order so she sat on the couch next to Dean and let a tiny whimper escape her lips as she leaned back against her sore shoulder.   
  
"This place smells terrible," she grumbled as Bobby took a pair of scissors to her jeans to expose the gash on her leg. None of them had spoken the whole ride there. Granted, Sam was unconscious and Alex pretty damn close the whole time.   
  
"Yeah, well, I don't think Rufus had been up here in years. Now hold still, you need stitches - a lot of them. Then we take care of those arms."   
  
"I've got the arms. Hand me the wraps." Dean's voice sounded a bit hoarse as he scowled down at her. She sighed - she didn't feel like arguing or telling them how she was fine and just needed sleep.   
  
Dean helped Alex take off her shirt so she was down to just her tank. His frown deepened as he took in the burns. Second degree, Alex figured by the look of them. Dean worked slowly and silently, cleaning off the burns and covering them in ointment before wrapping them up. She managed not to cry out but she couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes, because it really did fucking hurt after all. The stitches were no walk in the park either but it was a more tolerable pain. Once that was done Bobby assessed her shoulder and declared there may be a hairline fracture to the shoulder blade, and she certainly had a concussion.   
  
"Okay. Now that you're done, docs, can I go to sleep?" She wasn't even sure how she would limp to a bed right now and was not opposed to curling up on the couch in her current state. Bobby gave her a hand and helped her to the back bedroom where there were two full beds, one currently occupied by Sam. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.   
  
The first week was miserable, and the second week could rival the first. Everything hurt and it made even getting up to grab a cup of coffee a long endeavour. Sam had woken up the following day and spent most of his time waiting on Dean who had camped out on the couch, or trying to help Alex, who didn't need anyone's help thank you very much. Bobby was like a hovering hen for that first week, especially telling her to keep weight off the leg and let him change the dressings, and  _ she shouldn't reach for that she may make her shoulder worse _ . It was driving her crazy. She was beginning to think they had all taken Castiel's healing powers for granted the past few years.   
  
"Give me the damn remote, Dean. I'm not watching some soap opera in a language I don't know for another minute," Alex growled and tried to grab the remote from his hand, but he held it aloft.   
  
"I gotta find out what happens with George and Alaina, so too bad," he growled back at her. "Plus, it's a hell of a lot better than the damn nature channel."   
  
"I'd rather watch a documentary on salmon spawning habits than this drivel."   
  
"Do you hear yourself? Salmon spawning habits? That sounds interesting to you?"   
  
She made a lunge across him for the remote which was a poor idea as her shoulder cried out in pain. She gave a hiss, pulling her arm back.   
  
"Would you stop, already? You're gonna hurt yourself, take it easy."   
  
"You take it easy," she grumbled back, knowing how dumb a response that was. She felt the anger boiling up as Dean flipped to the damn soap opera.   
  
Sam and Bobby had gone out on a food and book run the day before so it had just been the two gimps left in the cabin.    
  
"I need air." She pushed off the couch with an effort and limped to the kitchen table, snatching up Sara's black coat and hustled out the door before a worried Dean might grab a crutch and try to follow her.   
  
"Lexi, you should stay in the house." Dean gave her a scolding look.   
  
"Oh yeah, ‘cause staying in the house was such a fucking brilliant idea last time." Dean flinched at that and she immediately regretted it. It wasn't Dean's fault the house had been burnt - she was the one who hadn't stopped it in time. She avoided his eyes and snuck out the door, sitting herself down on a swing love seat on the front porch and closing her eyes.   
  
Alex had insisted on going back to the house with her dad after the first week, and had almost regretted it. Somehow that night had felt almost like a terrible dream, and she expected to see the house in all its disheveled glory waiting for her. Instead, she found nothing but char and soot. She didn't want to cry over things - it was just a house, she told herself. At least they had all made it out. But it wasn't just a house - it had been her home. Her pictures, her clothes, all her books, her mother's piano, her father's desk. Her life was filled with hard memories, but all the really good ones had been in that house. No matter how long she had been away, coming there had felt like home, felt like sanctuary.   
  
The silent tears she'd been holding in for two weeks made their way down her face. She heard him before she saw him, but Dean clumped out onto the porch, taking the seat next to her on the swing and laying his crutch down. She didn't say anything and couldn't bear to look at him. Dean pulled a cassette from his back pocket and popped it into the old radio sitting on the ground between them. She wanted to glance at the cassette but that would mean having to acknowledge Dean, and she wasn't done stewing. A soft folk twang of guitar came through the old muffled speakers and Alex recognized the song immediately.   
  
_ She wore faded jeans and soft black leather _ _   
_ _ She had eyes so blue they looked like weather... _ _   
_ _ When she needed me I wasn't around _ _   
_ _ That's the way it goes, it'll all work out _ _   
_   
Tom Petty's deep, gravelly voice crooned and it soothed her soul to hear it.   
  
_ There were times apart, there were times together _ _   
_ _ I was pledged to her for worse or better... _ _   
_ _ When it mattered most I let her down _ _   
_ _ That's the way it goes, it'll all work out _   
  
Alex sighed. If this wasn't a Dean apology song, she didn't know what was. She leaned against his shoulder and made sure the tears had stopped before speaking.   
  
"It wasn't your fault, Dean, none of it. You've never let me down." Dean didn't say anything, just planted a soft kiss on the top of her head as they swung on the porch.   
  
The next few weeks were increasingly miserable around the cabin. While her arms and leg were healing, her shoulder would probably hurt for months. She was itching to get out of the enclosed space. Despite their amicable night sitting on the front porch, she hadn't been able to stop fighting with Dean and she knew that Sam and Bobby were getting sick of it.   
  
She knew she probably wasn't healthy enough for a hunt - she wasn't that stupid - but there was no reason to stay around the cabin a minute longer.   
  
"I'm going," she declared, coming out of the back room with a small duffel on her good shoulder. Dean hadn't even looked up from the couch.   
  
"Get me some pie while you're out."   
  
"Sam can get you pie, I am hitting the road for a bit." 

Dean turned around and Bobby and Sam put down their newspapers to look at her.   
  
"Stop it alright, all of you, I am just fine. I'm going to that storage unit in Oregon to gather up some files and some other stuff I have stashed there, okay?" All three of them fit her with a glare and if she wasn't so damn annoyed she would have found it comical.    
  
"Al, you sure you're healed up enough for that long a drive?" Bobby eyed her speculatively.   
  
"No, but if I stay here a minute longer I may commit homicide on all of you. I love you. I’ll see you soon." She went and planted a kiss on each of their cheeks, including Dean's, before heading out the door and sliding into her Firebird. Alex played with the necklace Dean had given her as she drove, glad that it had been on her during the fire, so not all was lost.    
  
She stopped pretty early once she reached the Idaho border. Her body had not enjoyed the long drive - her dad had been right about that. She found a place to stay off the highway, trying to ignore the strong Bates Motel vibe that she got from it. Once she tossed her shit down, she decided it was time to find the closest bar and get some good old fashioned liquid pain killer in her. Luckily there was a bar in walking distance, just down the street.   
  
It smelled like every other roadside bar and she felt just a tiny inkling of belonging for the first time since the fire. She was glad for the cold weather since she could wear long sleeves and her black jacket to cover her scarred arms. Alex wasn't vain, really and truly, since she had been covered in scars from hunts from a young age, wearing each as a badge of honor. Something about the burns, though, the bumpy red stretched skin that still itched and hurt, made her feel more broken than any of the others did. The other scars made her feel like a warrior - these made her feel like a victim. She sat down at the bar and a burly bartender brought her a whiskey and burger which she plundered with reckless abandon. It was a Thursday night so the bar wasn't terribly full.   
  
"Shot of the bullet whiskey please," a man called to the bartender, sliding onto the stool next to her. She instinctively shot an a appraising glance over at the man. Sturdy, worn work boots, soft levi jeans, green plaid flannel, calloused hands and a short, neat beard. She also noted the knife bulging in his boot as well as the one in his pocket and a pistol just under his shirt. Something in her gut told her she was looking at a hunter and she had seen enough of them to know. She kept to herself sipping at her second whiskey and picking at the remaining fries on her plate.   
  
"Fries good here?" the man asked and she glanced up at his face now. Dark brown hair that was short on the sides and longer on top. He was maybe mid-thirties, and with his jawline and broad shoulders she was pretty sure he had as much luck with getting numbers as Dean always did.   
  
"Yeah, they're alright," she shrugged and turned back to her plate.   
  
"Such a glowing recommendation," he smiled at her and she looked up at his blue-green eyes. The light teasing tone to his voice was unmistakable. "What you drinking? Next one's on me."   
  
"I'm all set. I think two is enough for tonight." She hoped he took the hint she wasn't interested.   
  
"Well how ‘bout dessert?" There was absolutely no leer to his voice, which surprised her, and something chocolate would really hit the spot. She gave him a non-committal shrug and the guy ordered two brownie sundaes. Her appetite had been pretty shitty the past three months but a sundae sounded perfect.   
  
"Mmmm," she moaned at the first bite of gooey chocolate.   
  
"Good?" he asked with a chuckle. She nodded emphatically and kept eating. "I'm Emmett by the way."    
  
She finished the bite she was eating, "Alex." They shook hands as his phone rang.   
  
"Hello? ... Hey, Milton....Yeah, it went fine, simple salt and burn... Actually took care of a nest earlier today... Yeah, I suppose so... Send me over the details and I will take a look, I'm only a state away... You too, brother." Emmett hung up his phone, tucking it back in his pocket. 

Well, wasn't that just a little too convenient. Last thing she needed was to be falling into any traps. She pulled out her phone and shot a quick text to Milton asking if he just talked a to hunter named Emmett. Milton texted back that he was legit and sent her a cell pic of the two of them together. That was enough evidence for her and she visibly relaxed a bit.   
  
"Salt and burn, huh?" she said nonchalantly after taking a bite. She watched as his tongue swept out over his upper lip to clean away the whipped cream. She quickly put her eyes back on her ice cream but she was pretty sure he may have already noticed.   
  
"Yeah, I'm uh- a chef, burnt a souffle." His voice was teasing and he had to know she wasn't buying it.   
  
"Souffle the new word for vengeful spirit? Must have missed that memo." She enjoyed the choked noise he made around his next bite.   
  
"Yeah, should have come up with a better line than that, huh? You're a hunter too?"   
  
"Yup. Alexandra Singer, at your service." She rolled her hand with a little theatrics.   
  
"Is your dad Bobby? Heard a lot about him, he runs the phones right?"   
  
"That he does." She glanced at the clock and realized she really should be heading back to get some sleep. "Well, thanks for the sundae, but I better hit the hay. I've got a lot of miles to tread tomorrow." She slipped off the stool, tossing down some cash on the counter.   
  
"I'm heading back too. Are you staying at the motel on 15 just a mile north?"   
  
She hesitated - she didn't want this guy to get the wrong idea, but she couldn't exactly hide where she was going either.   
  
"Yeah, it's not a long walk."   
  
"I walked over too. Mind if I go with?"   
  
She fixed him with a steady glare. "It's a free country, but just for the record, I'm not looking for any company tonight, you got me?"   
  
He held his hands up in surrender. "No argument from me, promise." She gave him a once over and shrugged before heading out the door with him on her tail.   
  
"So what case were you working?" she asked, shoulders hunched against the cold.   
  
"Well, I worked a haunting in Boise last week that Milton called me on, but I took care of a small vamp nest this morning."   
  
"How many?"   
  
"Just two. Guess it wouldn't really count as a nest, then."   
  
"Hmmm," Alex hummed thinking that vamps rarely traveled in pairs. "How long you been hunting?"   
  
"Wow, almost five years now," Emmett stared at the pavement as they walked. Alex felt the burn in her calf and gave in to the little limp as they neared the parking lot.   
  
"You hurt?" he asked glancing down at her less than graceful shuffle.   
  
"I'm healing up. Have a good night. Thanks again for the sundae," she said, giving him a small smile ‘cause what the hell, he seemed like a nice guy.   
  
"Anytime. Night Alex." Emmett moved off to his own room a few doors down and Alex reached for her keys as her phone buzzed in her pocket.    
  
"Hello, Dean. What's up?" she asked, pressing the phone to her ear and finally finding the key.   
  
"What's up? You never checked in. Everything okay?"   
  
"God, you're such a worry wart, honestly. I drove like eight hours and got dinner and now I am going to sleep. Nothing-" Her words were cut off as she felt something slam into her back from behind. She cried out as pain seared through her shoulder, radiating out in waves as she slumped to the ground. She panted and turned to see a woman standing over her, chest heaving and nostrils flaring.  _ Vamp... Well fuck... _   
  
Alex had a knife on her but it would only slow the thing down - she needed a damn machete.   
  
"Bitch! I can smell a hunter a mile away. You killed my friends, didn't you, whore?" The feral look in the woman's eyes was more than a little unsettling.   
  
"Wrong hunter, honey. Can't say I'm sorry though." She needed to keep her talking and try to buy time, but the vamp grabbed hold of her forearm, digging her nails in and lifting her off her feet. The pain on the freshly healing burns was excruciating but Alex let the scream die in her throat rather than let a weakness show. She could hear Dean yelling from the dropped phone below her and the vamp smiled as she brought a booted foot down on it, smashing it.     
  
"Bitch!" Alex spat at her and caught the slightest movement out of the corner of her eye. She pulled with all her might so the bitch’s back was to Emmett and yelled “now!”, ducking as the smooth swing of the machete sliced through the vamp’s neck, covering Alex in blood.   
  
"You okay?" Emmett panted, looking down at the vamp at their feet.   
  
"Yeah, peachy keen. I think you missed one," she grumbled and curled a lip at the blood on her. She was already down on clothing, having only what was in her car when the fire happened. She could clean the blood off the leather though if she did it right away.   
  
"I'm so sorry, I really thought I got them all."   
  
"It happens, look I'm uh- gonna go clean up. Mind if I borrow your cell?"   
  
"Sure, yeah yeah." He handed her the cell and she limped in through her motel room door, leaving Emmett to clean up his own damn mess. She racked her brain a moment and plugged in Dean's number. He picked up on the first ring.   
  
"Who the hell is this?!" he barked out.   
  
"Tone it down, Winchester, who do you think it is?" she sighed, shucking off her coat to clean the blood off. 

"Are you okay? What the hell happened?!" Dean growled into the phone.   
  
"I'm okay, but my phone has seen better days."   
  
"I will repeat myself, what happened?"   
  
Alex let out a long sigh, "A pissed off vampire happened, and she's-"   
  
"A vampire?!" Dean yelled, cutting her off. "You swore you weren't gonna hunt! What the hell, Lexi?"   
  
"You need to take a fucking chill pill, Dean. I wasn't hunting. I ran into a hunter who took out a nest, there was a straggler and he killed her, so it's all done now." She huffed. Who was he to lecture her?    
  
"Who the hell is this hunter?" Dean's voice still sounded furious but was toned down a bit.   
  
"Emmett, uh," she held the phone away from her ear, "Emmett! What's your last name?"   
  
"Greene!" he yelled back from the parking lot.   
  
"Emmett Greene, and don't worry, Milton vouched for him." She could feel a migraine coming on and really wanted to sleep, not sit on the phone fighting with Dean. There was silence on the line a moment. "Dean?"   
  
"Yeah, well you'll call us when you get to Oregon tomorrow, right?"   
  
"If I have a new phone by then I will call, I promise."   
  
"You sure you're okay?" Dean asked in a softer tone now, the kind of worried, caring tone that made Alex feel weak-kneed and short of breath. All she wanted when she heard that warm, deep concern was to be in enveloped in Dean's arms and never leave them.   
  
"I'm alright, don't worry about me... Goodnight, Dean." She hung up before he could say goodnight. How the hell could that still hurt so much? It was physical tightness in her chest at the thought of him. She walked back outside and handed the phone back to Emmett, who had finished dragging the body out of sight.   
  
"Thanks. I'm gonna hit the hay for a few hours and try and get out of here first light." Alex tried for a smile at the man but her heart wasn't in it.   
  
"Hey, you alright?" Emmett gave her a concerned furrowed brow and a slight tilt to the head that almost reminded her of Cas.   
  
"Everyone keeps asking me that, and you know what, I am starting to wonder if I even know what alright means anymore." She looked up to see a confused expression on his face. "Don't worry about it." She shook her head and went to head back inside, feeling the chill creep up her arms.   
  
"Hey, uh, I'm not worried about it. What I mean is, I'm not worried about you," Emmett said, putting a hand on her shoulder. It was her turn to give him a confused look. "All I mean is, you seem pretty tough to me. I'm sure whatever your troubles are you'll handle em. And uh- I still got a bottle of whiskey if you want to sit and talk?"   
  
She had to admire his persistence. "Maybe another time. Goodnight and thanks, for everything." She slunk back into her room and immediately ran a hot shower, crawling into bed sore and exhausted but at least clean an hour later.   
  
She didn't see Emmett in the morning and maybe that was all for the best - she liked the man more than she should. She made good time getting to her old college campus. Professor Skaff was on a field expedition for the next few months and offered for her to crash in his apartment on campus. She found the key where he had hidden it. The apartment was neat if a little dusty, and looked more like a library than somewhere someone lived. She was still glad to have a free place to stay.   
  
She got settled and spent the next two weeks in the apartment, gathering texts and hunkering down for serious research mode. Late one night she blinked her eyes furiously at an old text from the Victorian era that detailed Enochian sigils when she came across something that seemed a bit improbable. It was late but she grabbed the phone and dialed anyway.   
  
"Lex, why you callin’ so late?" Sam stifled a yawn on the other end.   
  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" She seriously hoped she hadn't since Sam got so little sleep these days.   
  
"Nah, I was just watching a movie with Dean. What’s up?"   
  
"Well, I found this text. and its not really the best source or anything, but it’s talking about angel marks. So most of the texts I read on them, which granted isn't many, said that they are mostly just ID marks, like a way angels had for staking claim on a human, not that different to the sigils Castiel burned on our ribs."   
  
"Okay. You’re thinking about that mark on your hip - the one from Rosier?"   
  
"Yeah, but this text says that angels can use the mark to track the person. It’s like an angel low-jack, but I mean wouldn't the branding on my ribs prevent something like that from working? I mean, if something like that worked, wouldn't Castiel have done that so only he could track us?"   
  
"I dunno. I mean, I don't think Cas would have taken the risk ‘cause if he ever got caught they could have gotten our location from him. Castiel was always really adamant about keeping us safe even from him. Not sure what we could do about it though, if this guy can track you, Lex. That's bad news." 

Alex felt the pang of sadness at Sam's words and ached to talk to Castiel again.   
  
"I wish he was here." She rubbed at her eyes, feeling the strong burn.   
  
"I know, me too. Hey, uh, hold on." Alex could hear muffled voices and a back and forth on the other line.   
  
"Lexi, it’s Dean." 

She cringed a moment, knowing Dean must have overheard her conversation with Sam and she was silently cursing him for not having the common sense to step outside.   
  
"Hi, Dean."   
  
"What’s this about you being marked? You said that was just a stupid tattoo." 

Alex hated being caught in a lie but here she was with her hand firmly in the cookie jar. She drew in a breath and started talking. She had meant to tell Dean everything at some point, though not over the phone. She told him about Rosier, his kidnapping Sara, tying her up, marking her, the blood, the creepy phone call and the dreams. She told him everything beginning to end. If she hadn't been quite so tired and Dean hadn't been so silent she likely would have stopped herself, held back a little. Still, the second she finished and there was still silence on the line, she rapidly began to regret her decision to tell him.   
  
"Are you going to say something?" She wasn't sure how he was going to react but silence wasn't one she had considered.   
  
"What is there to say?" Dean's reply was short and curt.   
  
"Um, I dunno, something?" she prompted, the utter lack of anger or concern or, well, anything was unnerving her.   
  
"Good luck with that."   
  
"Dean?"   
  
"Hey, it’s Sam, uh- Dean just went out for some air." Sam sounded a bit strained.   
  
"Fuck. Dean's really pissed, huh?" She'd really blown it this time, lying to him.   
  
"He's just worried about you, you know that," Sam said.   
  
"Will you talk to him for me? Least you can do since you practically ratted me out."   
  
"Yeah, I'll try, but I can't make any promises it will do any good. You know Dean."   
  
"Do I ever. Thanks Sam, get some rest."   
  
"You too Lex. Night."   
  
Alex hung up feeling absolutely miserable. She slammed the textbook shut and swirled her watered down whiskey in its glass. Her phone buzzed and she saw a text from an unknown number. Her mind raced with the list of things to worry about.   
  
_ Rosier, Leviathan, Cas _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rosier, Leviathan, Cas, Sam _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rosier, Leviathan, Cas, Sam and Dean _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Dean _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Dean _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Dean, what the fuck am I gonna do about Dean? _

She pressed her forehead into the hard wood of the table and sent out a prayer to Castiel, a prayer she knew no one would hear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!  
> So sorry this chapter took so long to write, I was busy with the holidays and truth be told I have way too many WIP fics at the moment. However I never forgot about my girl Alex, so this chapter I had every intention of finishing this case in one chapter and that just did not happen so instead of delaying posting I decided to split it up. Hopefully part two coming soon! Hope you enjoy this one I really loved writing it.  
> <3

Alex fought back a yawn as she stared through the windshield, trying to keep track of the road. A freak blizzard had hit when she was still a mile from the cabin. Luckily she had snow chains in the trunk, and she managed to get them on. Even so, it was slow going in the Firebird up the windy mountain road, and she watched as the snowflakes went flying at the windshield, making her feel like she was going at light speed on the Millennium Falcon. To keep herself awake, the radio played a crackled version of Elton John's  _ Tiny Dancer _ . She sang along till her phone rang and she put it on speaker without looking, not wanting to take her eyes off the road.

"Singer singing hotline. How may I be of service?" she chimed.

"Hey, Lex. You listening to Elton John?" Sam chuckled.

"It's what’s on the radio and I'm pretty sure everyone loves this song. What can I do you for?"

"Nothing much, just calling to check in. We just finished a case in Prosperity, Indiana."

"Anything interesting?"

"Just crazy-ass witches, what else is new?"

Alex nodded. It had been a few weeks since she had seen the boys and they had gone back out hunting. Sam had been calling her almost daily to talk, and he told her about finding his old friend Amy. Alex had been the only one he had confided that story in all those years ago and she was glad to hear that it had worked out.

"How's Dean?" she couldn't help but ask, knowing Sam wouldn't fault her for it. Dean had been giving her the silent treatment like the mature adult he was.

"Same. He's been acting weird ever since the Amy case. I feel like he's hiding something. If you looked brooding up in the dictionary right now it would have his picture next to it," Sam scoffed.

"Sure it's not just that he's pissed at me?" She wasn't happy about him being pissed but she thought it was an extreme overreaction on his part, just because she hadn't told him everything about Rosier right away. There had been much more important shit going on.

"I think that's part of it, but I don't think all of it."

"Okay. So where are you guys headed next?" 

"Not sure. Dean's just taking a shower and I was gonna check for cases, see if Bobby had any leviathan leads yet."

"I'm almost at the cabin now, I can let you know if there are any. I plan to head to a case in the morning."

"Oh yeah? What case?"

"Strange shit going on in Ames, Iowa. A couple of dry land drownings." Sam made a non-committal humming noise but didn't add anything. "How are you holding up, Sam?"

"You mean am I still hallucinating?"

"Well I guess, yeah."

"Sometimes, but I'm doing better at knowing what’s real, and I think that's the best I can hope for right now."

"I'm sorry, Sam." She truly meant it, she'd do anything to make him whole again.

"I know. It is what it is. Say hi to Bobby for me."

"Will do. Take care of that stubborn brother of yours, okay?"

"Always," Sam replied before hanging up. 

Alex sighed, rubbing her face and almost missing the turn for the drive up to the cabin. Her car whined at the sharp incline but she made it to the top and turned off the car with a sigh of relief.

"Hey Dad!" she called once she was inside, tossing her bag down and stretching her arms over her head with a yawn.

"Hey, Al. You hungry?" Bobby asked, coming in from the basement.

"Nah, not really. More looking forward to a bed. How goes the leviathan hunt?"

"I got diddly with side of squat. Wasn't expecting you with the storm," Bobby raised a critical eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be home." The words were out before she realized what she said and Bobby looked at her a moment.

"This ain't exactly home," he said, gesturing at the musty cabin.

"Sure it is, you're here... so its home." She smiled at his bewilderment, and planted a kiss on his cheek. She went to change into some comfy sweats, and came back out to settle on the couch.

Bobby brought her a cup of cocoa and sat next to her. "You're too thin. You eating enough?" Bobby asked in one of his occasional maternal moments.

"Sure, you know how it is on the road. This cocoa is good, though,” she said, sipping at it and enjoying the melted marshmallows. She settled down, resting her head on her father’s shoulder and they flipped on the TV, watching an old black and white movie with Cary Grant. She did feel at home then, even without the old familiar house and feel of the salvage yard. Being with her dad always felt like home, her eternal anchor in her gypsy life. 

She must have fallen asleep on the couch because she woke up there with a pillow under her head and a thick quilted blanket over her.

She rose and got cleaned up, restocking her duffel bag and making coffee before heading out for Iowa. Bobby wished her well and pulled her into a big bear hug before sending her off. Luckily the snow had melted in the warm morning sun and she took off the chains on her tires before heading east. She spent the drive thinking about anything she could other than Dean. She thought again about Rosier and his intentions, and somehow found her mind drifting back to the hunter, Emmett. He had called her a few times after their first encounter to ask her one hunting question or another. He was easy to talk to and she enjoyed the conversation while on the road alone. She wondered vaguely how his witch hunt in Mississippi was going, since Cajun witchcraft was nothing to screw around with.

She got to town and did her rounds at the police station, examining both the dead bodies. One was a woman in her fifties, a Margaret Teller who was a teacher at the local elementary school. She had been found dead in her classroom shortly after her last class. Death was determined to be drowning and with salt water no less, odd considering how far they were from any salt water in land-locked Iowa. Margaret had lived alone with no known relatives except a sister, who lived out of state. 

The next victim was an Asian man named Lee Park, early forties. He had been found by his wife and niece in his study, same death as Margaret. The only connection Alex could make between the two people was that Lee's niece had been a student of the teacher, so the kid was a good place to start. 

She drove across town and pulled up in front of the house, reviewing her notepad and checking her email on her phone, when a low rumbling caught her ear. She would know that sound anywhere. She stood up, turning around to see the Impala pulling in behind her. She got out and scowled at Sam, who shrunk down on the passenger side.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked, stepping out of the car followed by a sheepish-looking Sam.

"Working MY case. What are you doing here, Sam?" She directed her question right at the tall hunter with his hands in his pockets.

"What? I thought you might want some backup," he said casually.

"You knew she was working this case?" Dean's frown deepened.

"Yeah, he knew. I told him I was heading here yesterday. Look, I got it covered, you guys don't need to stick around, okay?" She watched Dean shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. Could he really not stand being around her that bad? The thought made her chest physically ache.

"Well we're here now, so let's check this out. Come on," Dean gestured toward the house and, shaking her head, Alex walked up to the house ahead of them. She knocked at the door and an attractive woman in an all black lace dress answered the door.

"Hello, are you Mrs. Park?"

"Yes, I am."

"I am detective Chase, this is detective Martin and detective Short. We're with the FBI and have a few questions for you about your late husband, if you have a moment?" Alex smiled reassuringly at the tired-looking woman who ushered them in.

Under his breath Dean hissed, "Three amigos? really?" Alex just smiled and shrugged, though she caught the smallest hint of a smile on his face before he put back on his stoic, brooding exterior again.

They all moved to sit on the couch in the living room while Mrs. Park brought them some tea, setting it down on the coffee table. Alex peered around and noticed several ornate wall hangings and calligraphy.

"Is that Japanese, Mrs. Park?" Alex asked, pointing to one of the wall hangings.

"You can call me Sunny. Yes, those are from my husbands sister's house in Japan." The melancholy hung thick around the woman like an invisible weighted blanket.

"It's very beautiful," Sam added with his usual warm smile.

Dean set down his tea and cleared his throat. "Sunny, I know you've been through this already, but can you tell us about the day you found your husband?"

The woman sighed and recounted finding her husband slumped over in his chair, a puddle of water under his head. As she spoke, Alex noticed the head of a small girl poke around the corner. She was wearing a school backpack and was clutching something to her chest.

"Is this your niece?" Alex tried to give a warm smile to the shy little girl.

"Oh yes, this is Jinok. Jin, won't you come say hello to our guests?" The small girl came forward from the hall, still clutching what appeared to be a small wooden dragon to her chest.

"Hello, Jin, I'm Sam and this is Alex and Dean."

"Are you here about Uncle Lee?" she asked warily, fingers still gripped tightly to her figurine.

"We are, yes." Alex watched the girl take the three of them in. She didn't reply, just nodded.

"Can I go up to my room now Auntie Sunny?"

"Yes, of course. Just call if you need help with your homework." The girl scampered away up the stairs and Sunny shook her head. "Poor child, first her parents death and now… and now Lee." Tears brimmed in the woman's eyes.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did her parents die?"

"Car accident in Tokyo a few months ago. She only just came to live with us. That's why we hung the wall hangings and few other things to help her feel more at home." 

"I am sorry for your families losses. Would you mind showing us the room your husband passed away in?" Sunny nodded at Dean and brought them into the study. 

Alex peered around the room and Sam took out his EMF reader, but it wasn't getting a signal on anything. Dean walked along the bookshelves and pulled out a ceramic statue, holding it up for Sam and Alex.

"Who keeps a monkey statue in their office?" Dean peered at the thing. 

Alex snatched it from his hands. "Those are the three wise monkeys. Haven't you heard of them?" She rolled her eyes, examining the statue.

"The wise what?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil," Sam replied, coming over and taking the statue from Alex, putting it back on the shelf.

"Ohhh yeah, I heard of that. So what are we thinking here, a ghost maybe? Witchcraft?"

"I dunno, but I have a feeling it’s got something to do with the kid," Alex replied. "Maybe I should go talk to her."

"Wouldn’t press your luck today. Let’s go find some food and hit the books a bit," Sam suggested, and Alex saw him watching Dean and her.

"Yeah sure, let’s go." She led the way as they headed out, thanking Mrs. Park for her time. Alex felt a strange tingling in her throat and wondered if she was starting to get a cold.

They headed for the closest motel in the area and Dean came back with a singular room key. Alex rolled her eyes.

“They only had one more room left, okay? There’s a convention or something in town,” Dean grumbled and the three of them brought their bags into the tiny motel room with two queen beds. There were farm silos all over the room decor, along with a few paintings of wheat fields. Alex rubbed at the growing tingling sensation in her throat and glanced over to see Sam sitting at the foot of the bed and rubbing at his eyes.

“You okay, Sam?” Alex struggled to get the hoarse words out. She was wondering if he was having another hallucination.

“I dunno, my eyes are kinda blurry,” Sam said rubbing and blinking repeatedly.

“What?” Dean said loudly, walking over toward them and pulling on his earlobe.

“Sa- Sa-” Alex cleared her throat and tried again, but no sound came out. Her throat felt tight and she drew in a deep breath. She tried in vain to finish her sentence but only air whistled out. She felt a hand gripping her upper arm and turned to see Sam staring at her through white eyes.

“I can’t see! I can’t see!” Sam exclaimed and Alex struggled in vain to soothe him, but her voice was completely gone.

“What's going on, why can’t I hear you?” Dean was almost yelling, wiggling and pulling at his ears and rolling his jaw like he was trying to get them to pop. 

_ Crap! _ Alex kept a hand on Sam’s arm for comfort and grabbed a notepad from her duffel along with a pen. She wrote a note to Dean and held it up for him to read. 

“I can’t talk and Sam can’t see… Well fuck! What the fuck happened?!” Dean exclaimed.

“Alex can’t talk?” Sam asked, concerned, and she raised his hand to her face and nodded so he could feel her doing so. She was fighting back the rising panic - something magical was certainly at work here. She tried several more times to clear her throat and speak but it was useless. She couldn’t say a word. 

Suddenly, Dean was in front of her, both hands cradling her face and running his long fingers gently down her throat. His worried green eyes ran over her face and his thumbs moved up and down her throat. Even if she had her voice the gesture would have left her speechless. Dean hadn’t touched her since he helped with her burns weeks ago.

“You can’t talk at all?” Dean asked, still almost offensively loud. She shook her head, frowning when the thought occurred to her. She scrabbled for the notepad.

_ Wise Monkeys.  _

“Why are you bringing up monkeys?” Dean asked skeptically as he moved over to examine Sam’s eyes.

“Monkeys?” Sam parroted. She tapped on the paper but Dean ignored her. Frustrated she kicked his shin which got a loud yell out of him.

“Jesus, Lexi, what the hell?!”

She tapped at her note again,  _ Wise Monkeys. _

“Wise monkeys. Did you lose your mind with your voice?” Dean rubbed at his shin.

“Shit, that makes total sense,” Sam exclaimed and Alex gestured her hands with an  _ I told you so _ look on her face.

“What are you going on about? I see your lips moving, Sammy, but I have no idea what you're saying.” Dean was fast losing patience.

Sam groped his hand for Alex’s face again and she held it there to her cheek. “You think we are cursed from the Three Wise Monkey statue, and that I have see no evil, Dean has hear no evil and you have speak no evil?” Alex nodded her head so that Sam understood, and a very frustrated-looking Dean put his hands on his hips and stared at them.

“This is horse shit. What the hell is going on?” Dean demanded and Alex began scribbling.

_ Can you quiet the hell down? Hold on.  _

She grabbed her lap top out of her bag and did a quick search, pulling up the Wikipedia page on the three wise monkeys and showing it to Dean. Dean read it, and realization dawned on his face.

“We are so fucked,” Dean groaned, collapsing on the bed next to Sam who just barely flinched at the bouncing of the bed.

_ Cursed object?  _ Alex wrote on the notepad, holding it up for Dean, but he wasn’t looking at her. She huffed, pulling on his pant leg till he looked up and read the note.

“Yeah, I think that’s likely. We gotta go get that stupid statue and burn the shit out of it.” Dean sat up fast, marching for the door, but Alex ran at him, grabbing his coat and pulling him to a stop.

_ Stop you idiot, for five god damn seconds _ . Alex growled internally, seriously missing her voice.

“What? Look, you two stay here and I'll go and get the statue. We'll will be back to normal by dinner.” Dean moved to turn again and Alex pulled at his sleeve.

_ Please listen to me,  _ she pleaded with her eyes at him and he finally looked at her and seemed to halt his movement. Once she was sure he wasn’t about to take off she grabbed the notepad, writing another note.

Dean read out loud for Sam’s benefit, “Call Dad, not all cursed objects can be burned, if it's Japanese magic we need a counter spell. Well hell Lexi, why didn’t you just say so? But either way, we need the statue,” Dean pulled out his cellphone and began dialing Bobby, pulling the phone up to his ear. Alex rolled her eyes, snatching the phone from his hand and giving it to Sam, who was the only person capable of having a conversation on the phone out of the three of them.

"Right, can't hear," Dean tapped his ears and crossed his arms. Alex rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt. 

Sam relayed the situation to Bobby, who told them burning it wasn't a guarantee. In fact, he was thinking it might need a counter spell and if they burn it, the curse could become permanent. Bobby promised to look up any curses he thought might be relevant and then suggested they get back to trying to solve the case.   
  
Dean finished reading Alex's note detailing what Sam told her. "Well, let's go get that damn statue and bring it back here so we are ready when Bobby gets the curse. Don't know what this curse has to do with people drowning on dry land, though."   
  
Alex just shrugged, but she was still convinced it had to do with the kid and really wanted to get a chance to talk to her.   
  
"Guys, I don't think going over there at night is such a good idea. Why don't we just grab some food, research and head over there in the morning?" Sam offered and Alex could see the tension in his shoulders. It wqs bad enough that Sam was holding on to a slim bit of sanity, but now he had darkness to contend with.   
  
_ Sounds good to me _ , Alex thought and looked to Dean, who she forgot couldn't hear Sam. She nodded again with Sam's hand on her cheek and wrote to Dean.   
  
_ Sam suggests staying here and resting then going there in the morning? _   
  
Dean read it and sighed. "Fine, whatever. We just gotta get this shit fixed fast. All this translation crap is driving me nuts already."   
  
_ Couldn't agree more _ , Alex agreed silently. She settled down on the end of the bed next to Sam and began furiously typing, looking into the three wise monkeys. She didn't really find much, other than that even though the original shrine was in Japan, the saying they represented was widely known throughout Asia. It was only linked to the image of the three wise monkeys in Japan, though. Alex couldn't find anything to hint at why the object was cursed, and she felt like the statue wasn't even that old, so it was possible it was recently bewitched.   
  
Ordering a pizza quickly descended into chaos as none of them could seem to agree on what to order. Alex wrote down the pizza she wanted, but Dean blatantly disregarded it, telling Sam he wanted a Hawaiian and a pepperoni, Alex's two least favorite pizzas, and Dean knew it. Not being able to correct him when she hears Sam put the order in, she was about to tackle Dean when she heard Sam add in chicken broccoli pizza, and she shook her head. At least one Winchester was listening.   
  
Even after eating some food, Alex couldn't settle. She was wired and antsy and frustrated as all hell. She needed to run or fight or do something, because the bubbling fear in her chest was becoming stifling. Sam was in the shower and she hadn't noticed Dean's eyes tracking her pacing across the room till he grabbed her hand and pulled her to a stop. She turned to look at him. His eyes were laced with confusion and concern.   
  
_ Do I look that bad? _ She glanced at herself and asked with her eyes.   
  
"Yeah, you do," Dean answered her unspoken question and it startled her.   
  
_ You better not be reading my mind _ , she thought, narrowing her eyes.   
  
"No, I'm not reading your mind. It might have escaped your notice, but I know you, Lexi. What's wrong?"   
  
Dean hadn't let go of her wrist. What was wrong? She really wasn't sure, other than her voice was gone. She couldn't help but think, what if it never came back? What if they couldn't fix this? She could never sing again. She could never tell Dean she loved him, those words would never pass her lips. She grasped at her throat with a twinge of panic.   
  
"Hey, we will get your voice back, and my hearing and Sammy's sight, I promise. It's just a curse - there is always a way to break those," Dean consoled her.

Alex pulled her hand free from his grip and crossed her arms across her chest, looking at the floor.  _ Not all curses _ . She didn't want to go there though, because it didn't matter, and she furiously tried to fight back the urge to bolt out of the room.   
  
"Talk to me, Lexi, what's got you so spooked?" Dean stood up and saw her eyeing the door. "Nuh uh, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." Dean shifted, standing between her and the door.   
  
_ How do you expect me to talk _ ? She gestured angrily at her throat. Dean grabbed the pen and paper, handing it out to her.   
  
She snatched it from him and sat on the end of the bed.  _ So now you wanna talk to me? _ she wrote.  __   
  
She knew she was being a bit petulant, but Dean had been giving her the silent treatment for weeks and now that she couldn't talk he suddenly wanted to listen?   
  
"Yeah, look, I'm sorry, alright? I was kinda pissed, but I am listening now, so tell me what's wrong. Are you that scared of this curse?" He narrowed his eyes and she suspected that Dean had been taking a few notes on getting people to talk from his brother.   
  
She tapped her pen to the paper, debating her words. Dean waited patiently, not looking over her shoulder.   
  
_ Not all curses can be broken. _   
  
"You talking from experience here?"   
  
_ Yes _ .   
  
"Were you cursed Lexi?" She just nodded, and Dean continued, "You seem okay to me?"    
  
She let out a big sigh.  _ It's not something you can see. _ __   
  
"Enlighten me," Dean raised his brow. She considered - it was never something she intended to tell Dean - not ever. She hadn't even told Sam, though she's not sure why. It didn't change anything, but she just felt it was too personal. Dean was waiting, though, and the warmth of his thigh pressed along the side of hers was comforting. She decided to go ahead and just bite the bullet.   
  
_ It was a witch nearly a decade ago. I was twenty at the time. It was a solo hunt. I shouldn't have gone on my own, it was stupid. Witch caught me off guard and knocked me out. When I woke up I was tied to a tree and she shoved some liquid down my throat that burned like acid. She muttered something, a hex under her breath holding her hand over my stomach. I felt it, I don't know how to describe it but it was a wrenching pain like fire only eating me from the inside. She told me, "I curse you hunter, you will never bring another of your kind into the world." She left then, flying off into the woods. I couldn't break free for a few hours and took me a year to find the witch again but by then your dad had put a bullet in her head. I talked to Celeste and a bunch of other witches, even a few doctors just to be sure but the curse stuck and there's no breaking it. So that's all I am saying, not all curses can be fixed. _ __   
  
Dean read the long note that took up two pages of notepad. She had crossed out and reworded parts a few times. She chewed on her lower lip while he read it. He was silent for a long time, reading it more than once and not looking at her.   
  
"Are you saying some bitch cursed you, and you can't have kids?" He turned bright green eyes up at her now and there it was, pity. The last thing she wanted to see, the reason she had never bothered telling him or Sam or Bobby, ‘cause they would give her that look. And the thing was, she didn't care, not really. She never wanted kids to begin with, she chose the life of a hunter a long time ago and had resolved not to have kids anyway. She took the note pad back, turning to a fresh page.   
  
_ Yes, I cannot have kids, and that's okay by me. I don't need your pity, I am fine with it. _ __   
  
Dean read the note again and looked at her. "Sounds like a load of horse shit to me. Did you try to reverse it or something? I am sure there must be something."   
  
_ No _ , she shook her head.   
  
"You don't have to give up on that if you don't want to. I can help, Lexi."   
  
_ Why? _ ! She stood, throwing her arms out.   
  
"Lexi, you're not alone, alright? Maybe you just haven't asked the right people." Dean was doing what all men do, trying to fix it. Thing was, she didn't need it fixed. She needed him to understand that, she needed him to be okay with it. She needed it on a deep level she never even realized till that moment. She didn't need him to fix it, she needed him to accept it. She dropped to her knees in front of him, moving her hips between his knees and then placed both hands on the sides of his face and looked into his eyes, begging him silently to understand.   
  
_ I'm okay, it's okay. _ __   
__   
Tears pricked her eyes. He looked at her, sucking in a breath as if to offer more help, more offers to tackle this problem. She placed a thumb over his lips and and silencing him and slowly shook her head.   
  
"That really what you want, Lexi? If it really is then... then okay. It's okay." 

  
Alex let out her breath and some of her tension melted away.    
  
She then mouthed the words,  _ Fix thi _ s, pointing at her throat.   
  
"Yeah, okay, we'll get your voice back." Dean smiled at her and she let the tears fall, pressing her forehead to his a moment and closing her eyes, feeling his strong hands over hers where they gripped his thighs.   
  
"You guys find anything yet? Getting really tired of bumping into everything," Sam grumbled, coming out of the bathroom with his hair damp and shirt on inside out. Alex gave a silent chuckle and rose, heading over to him. She tapped his shoulder so he knew she was there, then she pulled the shirt over Sam's head and readjusted it correctly for him. He gave a sheepish thanks to her. By the time she turned back to Dean, her emotions and tears were carefully bottled back up. She could handle this, they would fix this problem and move on and everything would be okay... It had to be.   



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!  
> This is a slightly shorter chapter but it was a good stopping point.   
> Song Credit: Sia - Elastic Heart   
> (but seriously come on the line about "its hard to lose the chosen one" so Dean and Alex, any way please enjoy)  
> <3

Alex had a terrible night’s sleep. Sam was a restless sleeper and woke her up, gasping and kicking out several times through out the night. She didn’t have her voice to help soothe him, so she just laid a calming hand to his face or shoulder till his breathing slowed and he would slip back into sleep. Come morning, both of them looked like something the cat dragged in and Sam looked a bit sheepish. Knowing the Winchester, she ignored it and moved about, getting coffee like nothing had happened.

“So what’s the plan of attack here?” Dean asked at the top of his lungs, making Sam and Alex cringe a little.

_ I think you and your loud mouth should stay here while Sam and I go get the statue and interview at the school, _ she thought to herself again, frustrated that her voice had abandoned her.

“We should stick together. I’m the only one that can hold a conversation but I can’t exactly see where I am going, so let’s hit up the school then back to the house?” Sam offered, standing up and blindly reaching around for his sport coat, which Dean continued to move around the room just out of reach, a devilish grin on his face. Alex wrote this down and showed Dean who nodded.

“Come on then, Sammy, get your coat and let’s go,” Dean teased and Alex smacked him. “Ouch! Alright.” Dean flung the coat at Sam, then grabbed his brother’s hand, leading him out the door, pulling a little too fast as Sam tripped and nearly fell against the door frame.

“God dammit, Dean, stop being a jerk,” Sam growled and Alex moved to grab his elbow.

Dean gave a belly laugh. “It’s not as much fun messing with you when I can’t hear the words to go with that bitch face!”

Alex rolled her eyes and snuck up behind Dean and caught his foot just enough so he stumbled against the car. Alex laughed silently, tears coming down her face as he whipped around and eyed her. “Touché, Singer. Now get in the car.”

Dean hung back once they got to the school and began interviewing the principal. Apparently, the teacher who died had been talking to Jin right before she passed away.

“So, you said that the Mrs Teller planned to talk to one of the students after class about their show and tell item?”

“Yes, I believe she was concerned that her student Jinok was always carrying around her wooden dragon and that she wasn’t allowed to bring it to school except on show and tell day,” the principal explained, matter-of-factly.

“Thank you for your time, sir. I think that’s all we need.”

Alex thought back to Jinok and her dragon. It had looked familiar to her somehow. She grabbed her laptop quickly, heading into an empty classroom and began searching. Dean was impatiently pacing behind her.

“Why aren’t we just going over there to get the damn monkey statue?”

Alex turned and raised a brow at Dean to say,  _ give me a minute _ .

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean griped and proceeded to poke and prod Sam while Sam swung and batted at him blindly. She found it - she would have shouted something like “eureka!” if she had the ability. Instead, she pointed at the screen emphatically for Dean to read.

“Mizuchi, a Japanese water dragon or serpent. Is this what the girl was holding?” 

Alex nodded emphatically.

“So you’re thinking the drownings on dry land have to do with the dragon? You think there are two cursed objects?” Dean asks again, looking at Alex who nods and grabs her notepad, writing.

_ You’re not just a pretty face.  _

Dean rolls his eyes at her. “So who do you think is cursing these things?”

Alex jumped and clicked to the next tab on her laptop, giving Dean the chance to read over her shoulder.

“A fox witch? You think someone is a…” Dean squinted at the word, “kitsune-tsukai?”

“You think it’s Sunny? Cursing these objects?” Sam asked, chiming in.

_ I think it was the girl’s mom. The calligraphy from the girl’s house looked like spell work. _ Alex wrote on her notepad and Dean read it to Sam.

“Why, though? Why curse a bunch of objects around your kid?” Dean frowned and Alex thought before answering.

_ I think the spells were meant to protect the girl, and likely only went into effect after the witch’s death. We need to find her familiar, usually a fox, and destroy it to end the curses. _

At least they had a bit of a plan now. 

They headed back to the Park’s house. As they approached the house, Sam and Alex could hear a child shrieking. Alex bolted toward the house, flying through the front door, finding Sunny on her knees in the living room coughing and spitting up water all over the floor. She put her hands on the woman’s shoulders and she just turned pleading eyes to her, the water bubbling up from her lungs and a wet wooden dragon at her feet. The small girl, Jin, was crying in the corner, clutching her backpack. Alex stood, searching around the room for something, anything that looked like a fox. Dean came into the room next. Looking around, he ran to the little girl first.

“Fox? Is there a fox that was your mom’s?”

The little girl looked at him with big doe eyes and pointed to the cabinet across the way where an urn sat with a fox imposed on the side. Alex grabbed it and threw it in the fireplace. The clay quickly went up, sparking blue and green as it burned up around the ashes.

A gasping breath reached her ears and she turned to see Sunny pulling in long ragged breaths and crying as the small girl ran into her arms. Alex felt a tingling in her throat and a release of pressure flooded through her.

Alex’s heart was hammering in her chest. “Fuck, that was close,” she panted and smiled.

Dean flashed her a megawatt smile that lit up the room. “Your voice!”

“Your hearing!” she smiled back and Sam came bolting into the room.

“I can see!”

They all laughed, relieved, and she moved to calm the the woman and child. They convinced Sunny to burn any and all items that came from her sister, just to be on the safe side. Sunny did so happily, thanking them profusely.

“Fuck, it’s good to have my voice back.” Alex was on cloud nine - saved the day, stopped the evil, and broke the curse.

She lounged in the back of the Impala on the ride to the motel, basking in the sun and humming to herself under her breath. Dean shot her a few warm smiles in the rearview and she almost on impulse shot him a wink but refrained. 

When the got to the motel, she grabbed up her stuff and decided to get a few hours driving in before getting a room for the night. Sam hovered around her as she tossed her bag into the Firebird, and she could practically hear his gears turning.

“Spit it out, Sam. What’s up?”

“Are you heading back to the cabin?” He tucked his hair behind his ear and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t give me that look,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“What look?”

“That puppy dog look, the one that makes it impossible for me not to give you whatever you want. Yes, I am heading back to the cabin, unless I find a case. I was thinking of trying to get at least part of the way to the cabin before getting a room for the night.”

Sam nodded and bit his lower lip.

“I think we will too, if you don’t mind us tagging along?” Sam looked down at her and god damn him and his puppy dog look.

“You think Dean will be on board with tagging along?” She sighs and rubs her face. “Are you still… worried about him?”

Sam glanced over his shoulder to make sure Dean hadn’t gotten back yet from returning his room key.

“I dunno, Lex, something is off with him. I mean, I know I’m struggling, but I know what it is, and I’m dealing with it. Dean isn’t dealing with whatever it is that is driving him nuts."

“Fine, okay. Look, it’s a free country. My goal is a bar called The Cask. There’s a little motel walking distance from it.” She patted his shoulder, heading for the driver’s side. Before she got in, she turned to him. “For the record, I don’t know what you think having me around is gonna accomplish anyway.”

Sam flashed her a quick smile and went to meet Dean by the Impala. Alex didn’t wait to say goodbye but wanted the open road under her as fast as possible. She cruised down the highway, thrilling in the roar of her car’s engine. She imagined her mom and dad in that car flying down the highway. She wondered, not for the first time, what life would be like without monsters and demons.

She honestly couldn’t picture it, though she tried. What kind of house would she buy? Would she have a mortgage and 2.5 kids and a 401K? She laughed a little at the idea of saving for retirement. Now there was a funny concept, a hunter retiring. She thought about telling Dean about her curse, and wondered if that changed how he saw her. She didn’t really know what Dean thought when he looked at her anymore, and she found it incredibly unnerving. What was she to him, anyway? And why the hell did she care so much?

By the time she reached the motel, it was dinner time. She badly needed a drink to quiet her far too busy mind. She didn’t see the Impala yet, but she headed over to The Cask as soon as she dumped her stuff in her room. It was college bar, filled with an assortment of young and sometimes entitled youths. It wasn’t her normal scene, to be sure, but it did have one of her favorite whiskeys and she knew the bartender, so it was always worth a stop through after a hunt.

Will waved at her from the bar, smiling, and she went to grab an empty stool near the end. Will finished serving a bunch of frat boys before sliding a glass of whiskey down to her.

“Hey there, gorgeous. What brings you around? Slay any dragons lately?” Will winked at her and placed his chin on both his upturned palms. She had saved Will on a hunt a few years back and they had become passing friends since then.

“No, I missed the dragon case this year, which really sucks ‘cause I didn’t get to use the special sword,” she sighed dramatically before taking a big sip.

“I’m sure a girl like you would have no trouble finding use for a special sword,” Will teased.

“This coming from the man with glitter still stuck behind his ear? I’m sure you are a more experienced swordsman than myself.” She shot him a salacious grin and he laughed out loud.

“Don’t you know it, sugar. So, you looking to have real fun tonight? We got karaoke starting up in about an hour and I bet it won’t take many drinks to get you up there."

“Ha! No, I’m all set. I just want to drink till I don’t care anymore.”

“Don’t care about what?”

“Everything, Will. Everything.” She shot back the rest of her drink on the bar and twirled her finger in the air to signal another.

Will did not disappoint, also bringing her a large basket of sweet potato, saying she shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach. The bar was packed as droves of young twenty-somethings flooded the bar. After a few drinks Alex was feeling measurably better and, slipping off her coat, she decided maybe hustling some rich college boys would be fun. 

She stalked over to the pool table. “You gentleman feel up for a game?” she asked a group of wide-eyed testosterone-filled guys that were all raking their eyes over her tight jeans and fitted long-sleeve tee. She tipped her head to the side, taking a little sip of her drink, running her tongue along the edge of the glass just a moment. She smiled internally at the eyes watching her.  _ Like fish in a barrel _ .

They happily welcomed her to the game and she played the part of inexperienced girl, giggling when she hit the eight ball into the corner pocket and asked if that meant she won. Will was watching her with raised brow from the bar, but he was too intent on flirting with a handsome young coed to watch her too carefully. She wondered where Sam and Dean were at some point but she shrugged it off.

“Come on, let’s make it interesting. Two hundred dollars on the next game and I’ll even let you break. What do you say, beautiful?” the tall brunette of the group asked in a husky tone, leaning over her a bit.

“I don’t have that kind of money, handsome, but, uh, if you win, I’ll make it worth your while,” she whispered in his ear and enjoyed watching the bob in his adam’s apple as he swallowed hard.

“Seems more than fair,” he got out with barely a squeak. She pulled back, grabbing the pool cue and saw Sam and Dean across the way, by the karaoke stage, heading for the bar. She chuckled when Will spotted them and went immediately on the prowl.  _ Barking up the wrong tree there, Will _ . She laughed to herself before leaning in to take the first shot.

She made quick work of the table, sinking every solid one after the other, calling her pockets and watching as realization dawned on the frat boys’ faces. After sinking the last ball, she twirled the cue in her hand and walked over to the guys, grabbing the two hundred off the table.

“Aww, come on boys, don’t look so blue. It was fun at least, right?” She winked at the tall brunette, tucking the cash into her back pocket.

He seemed to shake off the embarrassment and strode up to her again, using his height to lean over her.

“You played us, didn’t you?”

“What on earth gave you that idea?” she batted her eyes him and he studied her face a moment.

“I could still show you a good time, girl.” He actually licked his lips and she refrained from rolling her eyes at how incredibly unappealing that sounded.

“The only thing of yours that gets to touch any of this is the cash I just won in that pool game.” She took one of the shots still sitting on the edge of the table and shot it back before leaving the guys to stew and head back toward the bar where Will was now hustling to get drinks out to the masses.

Karaoke had started and Alex shuffled her way to where she’d seen Sam and Dean come in. She stumbled a little and thought she might have had a little bit more to drink than she thought she had. She found Sam first, nursing a whiskey with a distant look on his face.

“What’s up there, compadre? We should be celebrating and you look like someone shot your puppy.”

“Huh? Oh, nothing, just thinking. You know we can head back to the motel if you want,” Sam offered and Alex eyed him before scanning the room for Dean. She found him, sitting in a corner booth, leaning over a leggy tan-skinned coed, whispering in her ear. Her skin flushed red and Alex had the urge to yank the girl away from him by the roots.

“Lex, we can just head back, see if there are any good movies on HBO.” Sam offered and Alex leaned over the bar, ignoring him and waving down Will.

“Will, get me double, make it tequila.” 

Will looked at her dubiously, but slid the drinks over to her. “This tall drink of water the Sam I heard so much about?” Will batted his lashes at Sam and Alex leaned in conspiratorially.

“Yup itz ‘im alright,” she chuckled. “Told you ee was tall.” She tossed back the second shot and didn’t even feel the burn.

“I just got my voice back... I am gonna go sing, esscuse me gentlemen.” She hopped down from the stool and started to make her way toward the stage. There was a girl singing  _ Wrecking Ball  _ and in Alex’s opinion she was wrecking the song, but she got a good amount of cheers from her enthusiastic group of friends. 

Alex gave her song selection to the DJ. It was totally out of her normal wheelhouse but she had a bit of an obsession with the song.

She made her way to the mic and cleared her throat, waiting for the intro to the song. She didn’t need the words on the screen - she knew them like the back of her hand. Her hips swayed and rolled to the song as she gripped the mic stand.

_ And another one bites the dust _ _   
_

_ But why can I not conquer love? _ _   
_

_ And I might've got to be with one _ _   
_

_ Why not fight this war without weapons? _ _   
_

_ And I want it and I wanted it bad _ _   
_

_ But there were so many red flags _ _   
_

_ Now another one bites the dust _ _   
_

_ And let's be clear, I trust no one _ _   
_

_ You did not break me _ _   
_

_ I'm still fighting for peace _

She poured everything into the song, biting out the raspy words and closing her eyes, letting her voice rise and fall, cracking on the emotion.

_ Well I've got thick skin and an elastic heart _ _   
_

_ But your blade it might be too sharp _ _   
_

_ I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard _ _   
_

_ But I may snap when I move close _ _   
_

_ But you won't see me move no more _

_ Cause I've got an elastic heart _ _   
_

_ I've got an elastic heart _ _   
_

_ Yeah, I've got an elastic heart _

She blinked back tears, feeling the song tear at her a little, so full of pain and hope and anger. She looked up and locked eyes with Dean, who was watching her from the booth where the girl was leaning in and pulling on his collar. She sang right to him, the numb, blurred feeling in her head getting worse now.

_ And I will stay up through the night _

_ Let's be clear, I won't close my eyes _

_ And I know that I can survive _

_ I walked through fire to save my life _

_ And I want it, I want my life so bad _

_ And I'm doing everything I can _

_ Then another one bites the dust _

_ It's hard to lose a chosen one _

She heard her voice and felt the truth behind every word, she felt the desperate pull to be shattered and yet the strength of her own will pulling her back together. She belted out the chorus at the top of her lungs. As the song closed out, her hands fell to her sides as she quickly moved off the stage to a pretty loud applause that she ignored. She definitely drank too much and could feel the room spinning a bit. She headed straight for the door, hoping the cold air might help ground her a little.

She drew in a deep breath and let the cool air fill her lungs. It was sharp and it hurt, but it did help just a little. Fuck, she let her emotions get the better of her. She knew Sam might be pissed she took off but she needed to get back to her room and hit the bed before the whole spinning thing started again.

Stumbling across the street, she managed to make it to the motel and only tried two wrong doors before finding her room and nearly falling into it. Fuck, why did that girl have to be all over him? She had no right to be jealous, but she felt furious and broken-hearted all at the same time. She pulled out the two hundred from her pocket, tossing it on the bed when a hard blow hit her from behind and she tumbled onto the scratchy carpet. She winced at the jolt of pain through her knees.

Instincts took over as she rolled onto her back and looked up at her attacker, a scraggly looking guy coming at her. She scrambled back, pulling the knife hidden in her boot when the man reared his head back and showed sharp rows of teeth and a hissing tongue.

_ Fucking leviathan _ !

She froze, wondering if she had a chance to make a run for it. Heart racing, she blinked up and moved to stab the attacker when he suddenly cried out a horrible pained sound and collapsed to the ground at her feet. She looked up expecting to see Sam or Dean standing in the door frame.

Who she saw, though, made her blood run cold in her veins. Tall, olive-skinned and dark hair with an ominous glow in his eyes.

“Hello, darling. Miss me?”

_ Rosier... _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey All!  
> Thought what better time to post my Wayward Daughter chapter then after the Wayward Sisters premier. Love you all hope you enjoy!  
> PS: We are really close to Dean and Alex mending their fences so to speak <3

Alex slowly pulled her feet under her, not daring to take her eyes off the man in the doorway. He stood with his head cocked slightly to the side, watching her as she rose to her feet. A wave of dizziness hit her and she would give anything to be a bit more sober at this moment.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she managed to ask once standing, knife securely still in hand.

"Rescuing you, apparently, though that was not my intent, I’ll admit. Nasty little creatures, aren't they?" He poked the still figure on the floor with his boot. "He isn't dead though, so I will suggest tying him up at some point." 

Rosier stepped lightly over the body and moved toward Alex. She took a step away and felt her back hit the wall behind her. 

"Get the fuck out of here before I slit your throat," she said, putting as much venom in the words as she could, seriously wishing for her weapons bag with the angel blade in it.

"Now that was rude, my dear. After I just saved your life." Rosier moved with inhuman speed, knocking the knife from her hand and wrapping his long fingers around her throat. Alex squirmed and coughed, trying to kick out but not landing any blows. "Easy does it there, darling, the more you struggle the less air you breathe, and I would prefer you conscious."

"Put her down!" The deep rough voice came from the doorway and Rosier gave her a broad smile before shifting to the side to see who was there.

Sam and Dean stood in the doorway, guns drawn and murderous looks on their faces. Alex tried to steady her breathing but the pressure on her throat was firm and unyielding, leaving her pressed against the wall.

"Alexandra, darling, you've invited guests and didn't tell me?" Rosier chuckled in his smooth drawl.

"I'm not gonna ask again. Put her down or I unload this clip right in your skull." Dean's voice sounded firm and steady but he had no idea what he was up against.

Rosier flipped his hand and with a wave, the boys’ guns were on the ground and they were both pressed up against the far wall. One final flick of the hand and the door ominously swung shut.

"I know in your experience, boys, that this isn't always true, but Angel and Demon will trump hunter any day of the week." Rosier turned his back on the immobilized boys, now spitting and cursing at him.

"W-what do you want?" Alex managed to rasp out. 

White teeth flashed under the olive skin as his dark hair fell in his face. He leaned in his lips by her ear, making her heart race as her eyes locked with Dean's over Rosier’s shoulder.

"Eventually? I want you, all of you, but for now I need what I needed before. Just a little bit of blood and I will be on my way." He leaned back from her, releasing her throat but she felt the pressure of his power holding her in place. Like he'd said last time, he didn't need the ropes.

"You lay a finger on her and I'll kill you," Sam spat out from the corner, his large frame shaking with pent-up aggression.

"You'd do well to keep your mouth shut, hunter." Rosier produced a glass jar from seemingly nowhere and Alex’s eyes went wide at the size. She grit her teeth as Rosier slid up her shirt just a little and pushed down the top of her jeans to reveal the red mark on her hip.

"I am gonna gut you, you piece of shit. Leave her alone!" Dean shouted, seeming to struggle though it was futile against the hold.

Rosier flew across the room, Alex’s knife in hand and held it to Dean's throat.

"Stop! Rosier no! Don't hurt them, okay? You don't want them!" Alex cried out in panic. She hadn't really panicked up to this point but the sharp edge of the blade only centimeters from Dean's carotid was enough to push her over the edge.

Rosier ignored her, looking Dean right in the eye. "Is this the one you love so much? I expected... more." Rosier looked at Dean thoughtfully.

"Rosier, huh? I’ve been looking forward to gutting you." Dean smiled back at Rosier, completely unfazed by the odds in this fight.

"You know, I am often known as the demon of lust and love. I can smell it on you, the desperation, the desire, the passion - it’s rolling off you in waves, hunter." Rosier examined Dean's fuming face again. "It’s a shame you are too repressed to act on it, but maybe your loss will be my gain, eh?" He chuckled, patting Dean on the face, then walked lithely back to Alex. He placed his thumb against the mark on her hip and searing pain shot through her whole body like an electric shock. Her vision whited out and a high pitched sound filled her ears. She vaguely registered that she was the one making it. The pain was so intense from the shock she barely felt when he cut into her arm and let the blood drip from it.

The waves of searing heat started to subside and she found herself slumped against someone's hard chest. She tried to open her eyes and saw the blood filling the massive jar next to her. She already felt pale and struggling with consciousness. A voice above her was shushing and soothing while it ran a hand over the top of her head. She also registered Sam and Dean calling to her from across the room and looked up to see that Rosier was holding her practically on his lap. If she had an ounce of energy she would have started swinging and hoped to connect with his jaw but she didn't even think he needed his powers to hold her still now. It was so much blood.

"There, there. All done. Not so bad, was it? As much as I'd love to take you with me and it would make these visits more convenient, I think you and your friends are needed to stomp out this little leviathan infestation." Rosier propped her up against the wall and stood, holding his jar of blood.

"I will hunt you till the ends of the earth, you sick bastard," Dean growled and struggled from the other side of the room.

Ignoring Dean and Sam, Rosier dipped his head down and kissed her on the forehead, light and sweet. He turned on his heel, striding on the door and closing it behind him.

"Lexi!"

"Lex!"

The boys called out simultaneously, bolting over to her. She felt Sam wrapping a cloth around her arm and applying pressure while Dean cupped her face and tried to get her to focus.

"Mmm okay, p-promise jus a lil light headed..." She wasn't sure how coherent that was. The pain was mostly gone, she was just left with a drained exhausted feeling. Alcohol and blood loss were a bad combo.

"I got ya, you lush. Just take it easy," Dean went for a chuckle to lighten the mood and she managed to grin at him.

"Lev-lev thingy, not dead, tie-tie up." She tried to point a finger at the form on the floor and Sam moved to hopefully take action. The boys talked around her as she tried to hear what they were saying but decided it wasn't worth the effort.

She must have passed out because she woke some time later to the rumble of a car and cold glass on her forehead. She registered quickly that she was in the front seat of the Impala, and promptly passed back out.

The next time she woke there were fingers running through her hair and her head was pillowed on someone's lap. She blinked up to see Dean above her, one hand on the wheel the other running through her hair. She hummed contentedly to herself and pressed her face against his thigh, closing her eyes.

"You awake yet, sleeping beauty?" Dean's voice was soft above her and she wasn't sure how she wanted to reply. "You lost a lot of blood, you know. We aren't far from the cabin and Sam's got your car with the leviathan right behind us, okay?"

"Mmm, k," she mumbled and drifted off back to sleep.

She heard a voice again sometime later and felt a shake to her shoulder.

"Come on. Think you can walk or are you gonna need a bridal carry over the threshold?" Dean's voice was trying for light and funny but even in this state she could hear the underlying concern.

"Mmm no... I can..." She lost her train of thought, and it felt like the whole car was spinning.

"Yeah, okay, no walkie for you then." Dean's arms slid underneath her and she scrunched up her eyes as he carried her from the car, gripping his coat in her hand, wishing everything would stop spinning. He laid her down on what felt like the couch and she heard her dad's voice and then lots of grunting and grumbling and thumping behind her.

"Lift his head, would ya? I can't carry him by myself."

"What, big strong moose like you can't handle it?"

"Would you idjits stop screwing around and get him in the basement, already?"

She smiled at the bickering and just listened, feeling the pull of sleep again. 

"Bobby can I uh- ask you something?" Dean's voice reached Alex through the haze of sleep.

"It's damn near four am, Dean, so if you wanna talk I'm gettin coffee."

She heard a soft clink of mugs and the smell of coffee hit her nose, but she didn't move. Her head was pounding and she couldn't imagine trying to open her eyes.

"What’s on your mind, kid?" Bobby's voice was low and coming from the kitchen.

"This, uh- this might sound strange but I, uh- used to have a crush on Alex, you know, back when we were young."

"Mmhmm, that ain't news to me, Winchester."

"You knew?"

"Sure I knew. I may have been born at night, but not last night."

"Well, uh, Dad, when he saw that I kinda liked her, he told me she was off limits, that I couldn't, you know, act on those feelings, not ever." Dean paused a minute before continuing. "So I figure he had a good reason, you know? That I wasn't good enough for a girl like her and that a hunter shouldn't get attached. It’s just... I wish I knew why he said that."

Alex had trouble processing those words. John told Dean he couldn't be with her? That was news to her.

"Dean, I kinda wished you talked to me about this a little sooner and I coulda set you straight. Your dad was great hunter and he cared a lot about you boys. That being said, John Winchester wasn't always right, in fact he was wrong about a lot of things. Your dad talked to me about you and Al one time, said he was scared you guys were falling for each other, young love. He wasn't scared you weren't good enough, Dean, he was scared you would get hurt."

"Hurt? How would I be hurt?"

"Losing your mom... that was a hurt your dad never got over, and I think when he saw you looking at Alex like he looked at Mary he was terrified you would feel the same pain and loss he did. So he told you to stay away - he thought it was better you never loved like that then to have it and lose it."

Silence filled the cabin again. Dean's voice when it came was hoarse and bit quieter.

"So maybe dad was right then. This life we live, you can't have good things in this life, you just fight the monsters for as long as you can and go down swinging. That's it."

"For one of the smartest hunters I know, you’re one of the dumbest idjits I ever met. Living this life, Dean, you need something to care about, something to fight for, otherwise you're just asking to get yourself killed. Would you say that Sam and Alex are good things in your life?"

"Well, yeah-"

"Damn straight they are. Pushing her away, not letting yourself or her see if there is more there, that isn't gonna save you from heartache. It’s just gonna create more of it." Bobby let out a long sigh. "I wouldn't give up my time with Karen for anything, even knowing how it would end up. I would do it all over again, even all the pain. Loving her was worth the risk and worth the pain. It wasn't a choice - do you understand, Dean? I could no sooner stop loving her then I could stop breathing. Now if you can pull your head out of your ass and start thinking for yourself and stop worrying about what your old man thinks, maybe you could see what’s right in front of you."

There was the sound of a chair scratching on the floor. “Look at her, would ya?” Bobby’s voice again. Alex could almost feel their eyes on her. “She’s beautiful… and not just easy on the eyes either. Her soul is like a damn beacon that never goes out. Never seen so much strength and light in one person in my entire life. I can’t half believe she’s really my girl, and it seems that no matter how many terrible things happen to her she is still willing to get up and keep fighting, to keep loving, and to keep hoping. I’m damn proud to call her mine. You could do to learn a thing or two from her, Dean. She picked you from the start, and I don’t ever see that changing, and you’d be a damn fool to turn your back on that.”

“Maybe I am just that big a fool.” Dean’s voice cracked a little.

“Well, let me make one more thing clear, Dean… that girl there is my world, and so help me if you hurt her I will beat the ever loving tar outta you.”

Dean's voice came again, a little more clear but even quieter, "I hear ya, Bobby, loud and clear. Thanks for the chat, old man. Think I'll catch some sleep." A chair scraped across the floor and footsteps headed off toward the back bedroom. 

Alex was still trying to process all that she heard. The more she tried, though, the more her head hurt and she decided that maybe it was musing best left for when she wasn't quite so drunk and drained of blood. 

The next time she woke it was light outside. She peeked out from her blanket and looked to see Sam sitting at the other end of the couch, her feet in his lap while he read a book. She yawned and felt a small pinch in her hand and looked to see an IV.

“Hey, you up, Lex? Don’t pull the IV out yet, you’ve almost done the whole bag. I added some zofran to help with the nausea.” Sam patted her calf and she groaned, flopping her head back down. She felt like something the cat dragged in.

“How long have I been out?” She gave another powerful yawn and rubbed at her eyes.

“About twelve hours, maybe? It’s after lunch time, anyway. You think you can stomach some real food?”

“Not just yet, I think I will try for sitting up and go from there.” She did try and it was a little miserable but she managed. She felt shaky and weak.

“You look like hell.” Bobby’s voice came from behind her as he walked into the kitchen.

“Morning to you too, Pops,” she scowled at him.

“Call ‘em like I see ‘em. You hungry?”

“Nah, I don’t think just yet.” She stretched and grabbed a sip from a glass of water on the table, relishing the cool liquid as it went down her throat.

“I’m gonna make some bacon anyway, and I got some strawberries Sam cut up this morning.”

Alex shook her head. There was no use arguing. The banging open of the front door announced Dean’s return and Alex’s jaw nearly dropped open at the sight. He was in a thick red and black plaid flannel shirt, and the scruff on his face was at least a day old. He had a small stack of wood in a sling in one hand and an ax slung lazily over his shoulder in the other. He looked like some kind of lumberjack male model and she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

_ Fuck me, he even wore the tight light-wash jeans. _

She groaned internally and tried not to melt when Dean turned his megawatt smile on her.

“Hey, you’re up! You sleep okay?”

“Yeah, starting to wake up a bit,” she managed to reply.

“Say, you hungry? We can make you something?” Dean offered and she laughed.

“Do I look really hungry or something? Dad’s already on bacon duty so its covered.”

Bobby waved his tongs in the air and crackling and popping of bacon began to fill the room.

Alex shifted her legs off of Sam but pulled the blanket around her shoulders, feeling a bit cold. She figured it was still from the blood loss. Dean brought the logs over to the woodstove then came and plopped himself down on the couch between Sam and Alex making it a tight fit.

“Want me to take that out?” Dean offered pointing at the IV and she glanced up to see the bag was mostly gone.

“Go for it,” she held out her hand and with a little yank and a small gasp she would later deny, it was out and a band aid was over it.

The smell of bacon filled the room and she finally felt a small rumbling in her stomach. Sam got up and brought her a bowl of strawberries and she all but moaned at the fresh, juicy fruit. They were followed up by a plate of crispy bacon and if she’d been embarrassed by her moans, Dean put her to shame.

“Didn’t know bacon turned you into a porn star, Dean,” Sam laughed.

“Bacon is no laughing matter, Sammy.” Dean rolled his eyes back in his head dramatically and moaned yet again as he ate another bite.

“Dean, you and the bacon need to get a room?”

Dean grinned apologetically at Bobby and then held up a piece of bacon. “They just don’t understand true love.”

They all laughed at Dean’s antics. Alex ate her fill and sat back, still wrapped in the blanket, cupping her hands around a mug of coffee.

“So what’s the plan with the black goo dude down stairs?”

“Try to figure out how to kill it for now. I worked him over pretty good this morning but nothing seems to do the trick yet.” Bobby pulled off his hat to scratched his head.

Alex felt immensely better following the food and long sleep, though she knew logically it would take more time for her body to replace the blood she lost. Bobby headed downstairs to keep interrogating the Leviathan and Sam and Dean followed after him. She pulled up her buzzing phone from her pocket and saw that Emmett was calling her.   
  
"Hey there."   
  
"Alex, hey. I got a question for ya."   
  
"Fire away," she stifled a yawn, leaning back.   
  
"You ever fight something that made people kill their loved ones? I got a case of a couple of guys who lost their shit killing their girlfriends. Really out of character."   
  
"Sounds like a Siren to me. You should be careful with those, one touch with their saliva and you’re hooked. Silver blade does the trick though and you'll notice a certain flower around if it’s a siren. I have to look it up, but I can send you a picture."   
  
"You’re the best. How you been, anyway? If you’re bored you can come help me take out this Siren?"   
  
"Aww, what a gentleman, offering a hunt to a lady. You know how to woo a girl," she chuckled. "Sorry, Em. Things are pretty hectic around here at the moment." There were heavy footsteps behind her and she turned to see the guys marching up from the basement.   
  
"If I were to woo you I'd offer you a better hunt than a Siren."   
  
"Oh yeah? What would you offer?"   
  
"Hmm, a Wendigo probably, so we could spend some time away in nature and sit by the fire."   
  
"While lighting the monster on fire, you mean?" She laughed out loud and Dean frowned down at her. "Tempting. I'll give you a rain check on that one."   
  
"You know how to find me. Talk to you later."   
  
"Bye Emmett, stay safe."   
  
She hung up the phone and saw the boys had put on the new station and turned up the volume.   
  
_ The two men, who up until today were presumed dead, locked the doors and opened fire, leaving no survivors. Sam and Dean Winchester are now the subjects of a manhunt throughout the state of California. _ __  
  
They watched as what appeared to be Sam and Dean blasted away a crowd of people in a bank. It was unnerving to say the least and sent a chill down her spine. She looked up at the blank expressions on the boys’ faces.   
  
"Busy morning, you two?" Alex stared up at them.   
  
"Those sons of bitches xeroxed us."   
  
"But I don't understand how?" Sam's brow creased staring at the screen as Bobby shut it off.   
  
"I dunno. Maybe one of them touched you at the hospital?" Bobby offered.   
  
Dean stormed off for the basement, both men on his heels. Alex went to stand and follow when she was hit by a wave of vertigo and sat back down. Luckily by the time she came to they were back upstairs looking as frustrated as ever, mumbling about hair in a shower drain.   
  
"You can copy people like that?" Dean's voice hit that high pitch of irritation. Bobby just shrugged his shoulders. "Awesome. Well, what is their plan, exactly?"   
  
"Squeeze us. Turn us into the most wanted men in America." Sam gritted his teeth and she was sure they were all thinking back to the shifter at the bank, years ago.   
  
"All right. Well, that settles it. We find these ass monkeys, and we kill them ourselves," Dean puffed his chest and looked ready to head right for the door.   
  
"Wait a sec. Every form of law enforcement in the country has seen your ugly mugs this morning." Bobby moved to dig through a pile of papers on the table.   
  
"Exactly. So what's the point in trying to hide?" Dean flailed his arms and Alex wanted to roll her eyes but refrained.   
  
"Better than sticking your fool neck out. These things are smarter than you." Bobby found his old hunting journal and began flipping the pages before looking up at Dean. "You don't have a clue how to kill 'em or slow 'em down, and your plan is, what? Go right at 'em? Genius."   
  
"They're wearing our faces, Bobby. This is personal."   
  
"Yeah, I'm with Dean, here," Sam confirmed.   
  
"We can't just hide, Dad."   
  
Alex and her dad shared a look and she knew immediately what he was gonna say next.   
  
"Well, if you're gonna be stupid, you might as well be smart about it. You need to see a fella named Frank Devereaux."   
  
"Who's he?" Sam frowned.   
  
"He's a jackass and a lunatic," Alex answered and gave a humorless laugh.   
  
"But he owes me one, from back in Port Huron," Bobby added, giving Dean a piece of paper. "In the meantime, I'll keep working on Chatty Cathy here, see if I can figure out what makes him die."   
  
"I'm going with the boys," Alex stated slowly, heaving herself up off the couch.   
  
"Like hell you are, you need rest," Dean all but growled.   
  
"I know Frank and he knows me, I should go and make sure he doesn't blow your brains out when you get there."   
  
"What about this Rosier guy? We just ignoring that elephant in the room?" Sam asked, bringing her up short.   
  
"Not ignoring it, Sam, but what am I supposed to do about it? I can't find a way to track him and I've had shit luck killing him. If he can really track me then why does it matter where I am? I’m coming with you guys and that's the end of it. Plus, if your alias are compromised, so are mine so I need to come too."   
  
The Winchesters didn't argue anymore and neither did Bobby, but Dean did insist they all take the Impala since she was too light headed to drive. She thought that was ridiculous till she tripped and dropped her duffel bag two times and decided maybe it was for the best.    
  
As she climbed in the familiar back seat and slumped down a little she glanced up at the green eyes in the rearview. All Dean's words from the night before came rushing back to her and she suddenly felt a lump forming in her throat. She wasn't sure if she should feel hopeful after listening to Dean and Bobby or ready to throw in the towel. Smart bet was on throw in the towel and get over the boy, already. She knew Dean still had feelings of some kind for her, but maybe it was wrong of her to keep hoping for more from Dean than he was able to give. She told herself she should try to be happy with what she had. She slowly let herself drift back off to sleep, lulled by the rumble of the car and felt safe knowing the boys were there beside her, no matter what was to come.   



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, sorry this took me a while to get posted but I am hoping the wait will have been worth it. Enjoy!

The meeting with Frank had gone exactly how she had expected, though he didn't actually fire the gun at them this time. Frank and Alex had limited experience working together, but he liked her better than Bobby so she was a decent buffer with the boys. His prices were steep, though, and Alex knew she was going to need to book a few gigs or hustle a lot of pool to make up that cash. She thought Dean was going to shed an actual tear when Frank told him he couldn't drive Baby any more since the leviathans had copied that too.

 

"So what are we supposed to do for a ride?" Dean grouched kicking at the dirt by the Impala.

 

"Just drive to Jerry's Junk Yard off I-113. We'll stash your car there and get new rides."

 

"How do you know she'll be safe at some junk yard?!" Dean was all riled up and Alex was still too tired from blood loss to deal with an erratic Dean.

 

"Jerry knows about the life - he's an old friend of Dad's. You can trust him. Now let's go."

 

The drive was only a few hours away and Jerry was happy to see them when they got there. Alex was surprised to see Aidan's Bronco on the lot. She hadn't known that her dad had sent it up to Jerry.

 

"Hey, is the Bronco still up and running?" Alex asked Jerry as she checked to see the back seat still had the hidden weapons compartment.

 

"She's all yours, Alex, if you want it. I still owe you for that wraith that went after my mom."

 

"Thanks, Jerry. This will work perfect till I can use the Bird again."

 

"Not a scratch on my girl, right?" Dean asked, wagging a finger at her and Jerry, having just parked the Impala on the back of the lot.

 

"On my honor, kid," Jerry rolled his eyes and Alex smirked. Her phone was buzzing in her pocket and she saw it was Emmett calling.

 

"Hey there, how's it going?"

 

" _ Hey, Alex. I think I found something you might be interested in." _

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

_ "It's a spellbook I got off this witch on my last hunt _ ."

 

"A grimoire."

 

_ "A grim what?" _

 

"Nothing, a spell book is called a grimoire, that's all. Sorry, so what was in it?"

 

_ "A whole lot of crap I don't understand,"  _ Emmett chuckled warmly. " _ But, uh, I figured you might, and there is a an awful lot on demons and demon marks in here. Weren't you asking about demon marks a little while back? _ "

 

"Hell yes, I was. Can I grab it from you?" Alex really needed to cut a break and maybe this book was it.

 

_ "I'm in San Antonio right now, but I was heading north. Wanna meet up in Colorado Springs? I was gonna restock on supplies there if I didn't find another case." _

 

"Works for me. Just text me when you get there. Thanks, Em."

 

She hung up with Emmett and strolled back over to Dean and Sam who were eyeing an old green Camaro. She watched the ruddy color on Dean's nose and cheeks from the cold, his eyes distant, staring way beyond the car Sam was now throwing a duffel into. She wondered for a moment what he was thinking about before he startled as he saw her coming.

 

"Will you guys be okay on your own? I have a side run I need to make and it's opposite direction from the last wannabe Winchester sighting."

 

"Sure, Lex. Dean and I got this covered. Where are you off to?" Sam asked, cocking his head just a little to the side. For a moment she was reminded of Cas. 

 

"That other hunter, Emmett? He found a grimoire and it might have some spell work related to demon marks, so I'm meeting him in Colorado Springs."

 

"You sure that's a good idea? What if Rosier comes back and you're by yourself? And you barely know this Emmett guy anyway." Dean scowled, arms crossed and chest puffed out a bit.

 

"Rosier may or may not show up again, I have no way of knowing, and you being there or not probably won't make a difference. The best thing I can do is get this book and see if I can get rid of this mark. Emmett's a good guy, and he is going out of his way for me, so yes, I trust him."

 

Both Winchesters eyed her a moment and Sam must have seen the unspoken tension as he elbowed Dean in the side and got a glare in return.

 

"Be careful, alright?” Dean grunted and to her surprise, pulled her in for a momentary crushing hug before releasing her. Sam leaned in to hug her as well before Dean trekked around to the driver's side of the car.

 

"Don't go toe to toe with those leviathan till Dad figures out how to kill them, okay? You guys get too close and you run, you hear me?" She stared them down a moment to make it clear that as scary as the leviathan were, they had nothing on her. They both nodded and got into the car. 

 

Alex headed back to the Bronco, checking her GPS before making the long trek to Colorado. It was a long drive there, but she still managed to beat Emmett by a day. She got a motel room and settled in for some much needed sleep, even if it was on scratchy sheets and a cement-stiff mattress. She killed time the following day hitting up a few places in town. Emmett was right that it was a good place to restock, and she grabbed some ammo, a new silver knife, medical supplies and some damn fine whiskey. She also bought a shampoo that cost way too much but it smelled so damn good she couldn't help herself.

 

She had just gotten out of the shower and was cleaning her 1911 when there was a knock at the door. Hopping up and grabbing her new silver blade, she checked the peephole to see Emmett. Sighing, she tucked her knife away and opened the door. There he stood, the massive bulk of him preceded by a pizza box with a leather bound book on top.

 

"Howdy. I come bearing gifts." 

 

She returned his warm smile, taking the pizza box and ushering him inside. "You've been in Texas too long," she chuckled. "What kinda pizza?"

 

"Just a cheese - I wasn't sure what you liked on it." He shrugged, sitting at the foot of her bed.

 

She sat across from him and as they dug into the pizza, he walked her through the spells in the book. He pointed out the section that had different marks drawn in with names under them. She searched and eventually came up one that looked just like hers with the name Rosier underneath it.

 

"This spell book is in Greek," she pronounced after trying to decipher a few spells, thinking it was Latin. "It's actually ancient Greek, this is gonna be a bitch to translate, but see right here,  _ afairéste daímonas síma _ , that means  _ Remove Demon Mark.  _ So hopefully this spell might have something I can try."

 

She closed the book, thinking she would need old notes from school to decipher the rest of it and those were at the cabin.

 

"So you think it will help then?"

 

"It can't hurt. I gotta try something." She got up and popped open a new whiskey bottle, pouring them both a small glass.

 

"Thanks," he smiled and his hand grazed hers as she handed him the glass. He watched her in a way that made her feel admired without being an uncomfortable leer, something few guys could pull off very well. "So, how have you been? Things getting any easier?"

 

She sipped her whiskey and sat next to him on the foot of the bed. "Not really, but they so rarely slow down. I guess it's not any better or worse than normal." She barked a laugh.  _ Just close to the end of the world, must be Thursday. _

 

"Doesn't sound all that good to me. You wanna talk about it? I'm told I'm an excellent listener, you know."

 

She hesitated, looking at him again. He had the same short beard as before, same flannel shirt and canvas Carhartt coat. He even had that distinctive hunter smell of leather and gunpowder and herbs like rosemary. She wondered if he'd been doing spell work recently. Something about Emmett was just... welcoming, like he was just waiting to adore you, a questioning look in his eye. 

 

She stalled with another sip of her whiskey, it was tempting to sit here and let him comfort her, talk to her. She even knew that if they had sex it would likely be great, judging by the buzz of electricity between them, and help relieve a lot of her tension. She couldn't help look at him and think what life would be like if she loved a man like Emmett. They could travel around the country fighting monsters, watching each other's backs, playing pool in the local bars, skinny dipping in the motel pool late at night, before making love. She wanted that, she wanted that so badly, if not for just one problem, the biggest problem of them all... He wasn't Dean, and he never could be. She couldn't love anyone else the way she loved Dean.

 

"No. That's a kind offer but I'll keep my troubles firmly on my shoulders where they belong. I appreciate the offer though. You're a good man." She tried to give him an apologetic smile. He looked at her like he was trying to read her mind and she swore his jaw tightened for just a second before his expression smoothed back out.

 

"I understand. Always here if you want to talk, though I better head back to my own room." He leaned in then and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, his beard tickling her skin. He rose and finished his whiskey before tipping his nonexistent hat to her.

 

"Goodnight. Thanks again, Emmett, really."

 

"Goodnight, Alexandra." Something in the way he said her name felt strange, using her full name like that. She shrugged it off as he closed the door and locked the dead bolt behind him.

 

By morning, Emmett was gone and Alex was packing up her things when she saw a call from her dad. He told her the boys had been nabbed by the police and nearly killed by the two impostor leviathan which had her cursing up a storm. Luckily, Bobby had found something to fight the Leviathan with though she thought her dad had lost it when he said it was the cleaning product, borax. By the sounds of it, the boys managed to kill the impostors and fake their own deaths, leaving one less problem to worry about.

 

"You sound like you're driving. Where are you headed?"

 

"Jody swung by, helped clean up the cabin a bit. I am heading to ditch the body to this thing and grab some books from the storage unit in Boise. I should be back to the cabin in a week."

 

"Sounds good, Dad. I may swing up there to grab some notes of mine. Keep me posted if you learn anything else."

 

"Alright, Al. You stay safe, alright?"

 

"Drive fast, take chances, got ya," she smirked and could imagine his eye roll.

 

"Love ya, kiddo."

 

"Love you too. Bye, Dad."

 

She hung up and decided maybe a few days of quiet alone at the cabin would be good to finish researching the grimoire, then she could meet up with the boys and see how the hunt was going. It was an all-day drive to the cabin and she seemed to get there just in time as a big storm was coming in.

 

Alex was relieved when she finally reached the cabin. It wasn't home but it was the closest thing they had. She immediately decided to hop in the shower and damn, did that hot water feel amazing. She came out and opened her duffel to realize she only had one clean pair of underwear and that was it, the rest needed a wash. She pulled on the underwear and glancing around the room saw an old flannel of Dean's lying on the end of the bed. She pulled it on and carried the laundry down to the washer, leaving her wet hair trailing down her back.

 

She admired how clean everything was. Jody had done a good job getting a dirty old cabin looking livable again. It was getting cold and she could hear the wind picking up outside. Within an hour she was sitting on the floor in front of the wood-stove with one of Rufus's old battery-powered record players, going through his vinyl. It was rare she took an evening to herself to just relax, listen to music, watch TV or, heaven forbid, read something that wasn't a lore book. She was just about to put on a Ray Charles record when the power went out, leaving her in just the light from the wood-stove.

 

"God damn it!" she growled.

 

Before she could move, the front door banged open and a soaking wet Winchester stumbled into the cabin.

 

"Dean?" 

 

He jumped about a mile, spinning around till his eyes found her sitting on the ground.

 

"Uh, hey, Lexi." He gave her a weird, awkward smile and she felt like something was off. 

 

He looked at her and rolled his eyes then tossed the holy water, borax solution on his arms along with a silver blade cut.

 

He held his arms out. “Happy?”

 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t exactly expecting you and you did just have a double running around.”

 

“How long’s the power been out?”

 

“‘Bout the second you walked in. Guess you're bad luck, Winchester. So what ya doin’ here? Where's Sam?”

 

Dean kicked off his boots and walked over to where she was sitting, plopping down next to her. She suddenly realized her utter lack of clothing other than underwear, and his old shirt, which was thankfully long on her.

 

“Well that’s a story best told with whiskey,” Dean sighed, crossing his legs and leaning back on the palms of his hands. The firelight reflected off the sharp angles of his face. She knew that face—it was the “weight of the world” face. She stood up and planted a kiss to the top of his head before padding over to the kitchen to grab the whiskey bottle and some cheez-its, ‘cause she was classy like that.

 

“I'm all ears, Dean. What happened?” she asked, sitting back down next to him and handing him the bottle.

 

He took a swig and began telling her about the past few days. Apparently, Sam was being completely unreasonable because Dean decided to kill a monster who had been murdering people, like any sane hunter would do, and then he didn’t tell Sam about it. The fact that this monster had previously saved Sam’s life, or that she was killing to protect her child, or that Sam had decided to let her go, were apparently not important. She was a monster and she deserved to die.

 

“Oh, Dean. You really screwed the pooch on this one, huh?” She raised an eyebrow at him, and if the room were brighter she thought she might have seen red in his cheeks.

 

“Look, I did what I had to do, and I would do it again,” he huffed defensively.

 

“So you wouldn’t do anything different?”

 

“No, I wouldn’t.”

 

“You wouldn’t, oh I dunno, tell your brother you killed his friend instead of lying about it? Come on, Dean, that was pretty dumb. Don’t you think he wouldn’t be so pissed if you just came clean with him?”

 

Dean was silent and that was as good as an admission. She didn’t press the issue. One thing about Dean was his own guilt was usually more punishment than he deserved. She took a swig from the bottle and put on a Van Morrison record. She stood, reaching out a hand and pulling Dean to his feet. The sweet, bluesy song  _ Into the Mystic _ came on and she pulled Dean’s warm body in against hers, resting her cheek against the flannel on his chest. He dipped his head, pressing his face to the crook of her neck.

 

_ We were born before the wind _

_ Also younger than the sun _

_ Ere the bonnie boat was won _

_ As we sailed into the mystic _

 

She sighed into him, her hands resting in the dip of his lower back, and his long fingers wrapped around her waist slowly, rocking to the rhythm of the song. She felt the tension ebb from his body like pulling the plug out of a drain.

 

_ I wanna rock your gypsy soul _

_ Just like the way back in the days of old _

_ Then magnificently we will float _

_ Into the mystic… _

 

Dean hummed and the vibration against her neck made her giggle. “Missed you, Lexi,” Dean whispered into her hair, taking a deep breath in like he was inhaling her. It sent a shiver down her back. She couldn’t find words, just nuzzled into him. “I’m sorry, Lexi, so sorry.”

 

“For what?” her voice was small so as not to break the strange moment between them.

 

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I-I need you Lexi, I want you so bad.” His voice broke on his words, lips brushing her skin. She couldn’t think, couldn’t process what was happening as Dean began laying kisses along her neck. Her ability to think was whiting out as she leaned into his touch, hands skimming down her butt and fingertips brushing the back of her thighs. She felt a finger curl under the elastic of of her underwear and give it a small snap against her skin making her jump. A small laugh escaped her. 

 

“Dean,” she huffed out as his hands gripped her bare thighs and lifted her up off the ground pushing her back flat against the nearest wall. Her legs wrapped around him of their own accord and he pressed her against the wall hard, licking and sucking at the base of her neck. His body was strong and solid in front of her, like it was trying to melt into her. One free hand sunk into her hair and twisted her head back, with a small bit of pain and pleasure mingling together, allowing him better access to her throat and collarbone as he utterly devoured her. She whined and tried to rock her hips against him, needing more, needing all of him, right this minute.

 

“I- I- I-“ she tried to form a sentence.

 

“Lexi,” her name was an exhale on his lips and his teeth grazed her neck, sending a shiver through her till his lips found their way to hers, silencing any thoughts running through her head. His erection pressed hard against her through his jeans, pressing right into the soft heat between her legs.

 

The heady taste of whiskey on his lips and the scratch of the stubble on his chin was driving her crazy. She whined, pulling her lips free from his, gasping in a breath and digging in her fingers to his shoulders. When this elicited an actual growl she opened her eyes to look at him. The smirk on his face was downright feral and maybe the hottest fucking thing she ever saw.

 

“Hurry up and fuck me already,” she whined and his smile broadened. He swung her around then and she heard the crashing of glass and thumping of books before she felt herself falling backwards onto the kitchen table. It creaked under her weight and she panted, legs still twined around Dean’s waist. He leaned in, kissing her hard and sloppy before pulling back, leaving her head spinning.

 

His hands moved and in seconds her panties were dragged down and off and he was back over her, hands pulling at her flannel shirt till the buttons gave, skittering across the floor. Dean gave a small, appreciative moan before lowering his lips to her right breast, rolling his tongue around her nipple.

 

Her back arched up off the table and her fingers scrambled to pull off his shirt. Finally he figured out what she was trying to do and pulled off her long enough to get his shirt off. His pale, freckled skin seemed to glow in the light from the wood stove. His jeans and boxers hit the floor in a flash and he moved back to kissing and sucking a line down her stomach. His hands spreading her thighs wide and she panted and squirmed under him.

 

“Dean...Dean!” He lifted his head to lock eyes with her. “Please, just- just do it already, I can’t take it.” She thought if she didn’t feel him in her this second she might combust. He gave her a cocky grin before lining himself up and pulling his hips so they almost hung off the end of the table. All her muscles tensed in anticipation when he finally slammed home into her.

 

“Holy fuck!” Dean gasped, leaning over her. His hands were laced in hers pulling her arms up over her head and he began a relentless drive into her. The weight of his body on hers, the hard snap of his hips, and rough stubbled kisses and bites to her neck made her whole body tremble below him. The table groaned and creaked and she knew it was going to leave bruises and she couldn’t care less as she tossed her head back whimpering and bucking up into him.

 

It felt right, it felt amazing, it felt like Dean was reclaiming her, making her body sing for him. She arched up into him as the building tension grew and grew till her whole body finally succumbed to a violent shaking orgasm. She cried out, straining against him and felt him driving into her with a few hard stuttered thrusts before he too came hard, arms shaking with the strain, pressing her wrists into the hardwood of the table.

 

His hard body softened on top of her. As his grip loosened, he brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her wrist, then lazily lay his head on her chest. She felt utterly spent, like all her muscles had been turned to water. She never wanted to move again, except her sweaty skin shivered in the cold cabin air.

 

“I’m uh- sorry, Lexi, I don’t know what got into me,” Dean slowly lifted his head.

 

“I know what got into me.” She smiled, wiggling her hips a little and he rolled his eyes, pulling slowly out of her. He lifted her up off the table and set her down on her wobbly legs.

 

“Fuck it’s cold,” she said, shivering a moment. Dean glanced around and pulled her over to the couch, laying her down on top of him. He grabbed the blanket and wrapped them both up tight. She gave a contented sigh as she melted into the warmth of him. They lay still for a long time with only the sound of the storm and crackle from the woodstove to break the quiet in the room.

 

“Lexi?” Dean’s voice was low and there was a hesitation to it.

 

“Hmmm?” she nestled down into his chest.

 

“I wanna give this a shot, you and me, I mean. I don’t want to do this without you anymore, but fuck, I mean I’m just gonna screw this up, I already have,” he sighed, tossing his head back and running his fingers through his hair.

 

“You won’t fuck it up, and guess what?”

 

“What?”

 

“Even if you do, I know you’ll fix it. You always do.”

 

“You don’t know that. Are you sure you really want me? I mean, I’m barely holding it together half the time.”

 

She craned her neck to see him, and looked into his eyes, dark in the low light of the room. “You are all I’ve ever wanted… I don’t know how else to show you that. If we don’t try I think we will always wonder what we could have had.”

 

He stared at her, moving his long fingers to brush the hair out of her face and tuck it gently behind her ear. She turned her face into his hand and placed a kiss on his palm.

 

“Well fuck, Sam is gonna say I told you so,” he smiled with her and she let out a small chuckle.

 

“Yeah, I suppose he is.” She settled her head back down on his chest, feeling safe in a way she hadn’t felt in weeks. Deciding to let all their worries melt away, even if only for a night, they drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!  
> I am so sorry this took so long to write, I promise this fic is not abandoned, I moved houses and things at work have been hectic along with lots of writing projects. Alex is my girl and I was so happy to finally get this chapter pulled together. The next few chapters are gonna be a bit rough so it may take me a little to navigate my way through it. Your comments have all meant so much to me, as always thanks for coming on this journey.  
> Love  
> CB

Alex stretched, feeling her bare legs brush against Dean’s and smiling. Everything felt incredible and stiff and sore but in a really good way. She managed to roll off him without waking him. Dean’s face was soft and peaceful in sleep and she watched him for a moment before going to get dressed. The power had come back on while they slept, which was good since she hadn’t woken up to stoke the wood stove.

She pulled clean jeans and underwear from the dryer, but selfishly grabbed Dean’s shirt again instead of her own. It was soft, and it felt like having his skin on hers in a really intimate way. Dean was still sleeping when she started messing in the kitchen, looking for enough ingredients to make some pancakes. She read her journal and the grimoire that Emmett gave her on the counter as she stirred the mix up.

“Mornin’ beautiful,” a rough voice came from the couch and she turned to see Dean rubbing at his tired eyes.

“Morning, sleepy head. You feel like frying up these pancakes while I put some coffee on?”

Dean agreed and they got breakfast pulled together, hips bumping together on occasion and the brush of fingers on her lower back. It was easy, this one peaceful domestic moment. Dean’s hand touched hers, grabbing for the butter and she could feel the charge of electricity between them. Dean hummed happily when he ate his first syrup-drenched bite.

“Dis is so ‘ood,” he mumbled through a mouthful of pancake.

Alex laughed a little, “I don’t know anyone who makes such sexy sounds when they eat like you do, it’s like eating with Meg Ryan.” 

Dean flashes her a cheeky grin. “Will you have what she’s having?”

“If that’s you, then yes I definitely will.” She took a sip of coffee and Dean chuckled a little as he continued to shovel in his breakfast.

“Would it kill you to chew?” she scolded, but he just stuck his tongue out at her.

The journal lay on the table next to her, taunting her. She thought she had the workings of the spell down to get the brand off her hip, but it wasn't going to be pretty.

“Dean, how do you feel about helping me with a spell?”

Dean raised his eyebrows a little. “So long as there are no rabbits getting sacrificed, sure, I’m in.”

“I promise no bunnies will be harmed,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

It took her a few minutes to gather the ingredients into the bowl and draw out the needed symbols on the table in lamb's blood. Dean watched her warily but didn’t ask what they were doing. “Do you have the demon blade on you? I can use my athimay if I need too but I think the blade will work better.”

“Why do you need a blade?” He looked worried as he dug through his bag, pulling out the demon blade and handing it to her.

“You’ll see,” she answered, knowing Dean wasn’t gonna like it. She took the bowl and said a few words of Latin before tossing in a match to the ingredients. Bright blue flames filled the bowl and she carefully laid the blade across the rim. Flames licked up around it as she said the final incantation. She watched as the blade began to glow red hot, looking much hotter than it should be for such a small flame.

She pulled the bottom of her long shirt up and tied the fabric in a knot at her waist to get it out of the way before she shimmied her jeans down to show the brand on her hip. She looked at the blade and cringed a little then reached toward Dean’s belt and he jumped back.

“What the hell, Lexi?” he grumbled.

“I need your belt,” she explained calmly, and he moved a step towards her and she felt his hips move as he pulled the leather belt through the loops. She felt an urge to kneel down and run her lips over those hip bones but stayed focused.

She nodded at the blade. “Take the blade and press it directly over the mark here, okay? Don’t let up for at least five full seconds or it won’t work. And read these words when you do it.” She gestured at the journal.

“Are you kidding me? I am not burning you with a hot blade,” Dean scoffed, looking a little pale.

“I need you to—I don’t think I can get the words out, so just put your big boy pants on and do it. I’m not living with this thing on me another minute.” She stared him down and his lips set in a firm line.

“Damn it,” he growled, grabbing up the blade and looking at her. She nodded and smiled to let him know it was alright and placed the leather belt between her teeth. Dean surprised her when he moved to stand behind her one hand snaked around her chest and held her pressed tight against him. Her hands came up grasping his forearms and trying to take slow steadying breaths. He didn’t count to three or give her any warning, just pressed the scalding hot knife to her skin.

Flaming heat seared her skin and she choked back a pained cry, digging her teeth into the leather of the belt. Her eyes pricked with tears and she barely made out the words Dean was saying, struggling to stay still. If Dean hadn’t been holding her she thought she would have toppled over by now. It seemed like eternity when he finally lifted the blade and her mouth dropped open, belt falling to the ground. She gasped in a breath of relief.

“Fuck,” she panted, leaning heavily back against Dean. He had dropped the blade, wrapping his other arm around her and resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked warily. She nodded, licking her dry lips. He moved slowly to stand in front of her, once her feet were steady, and they both looked down where he had pressed the blade. There was an angry, bloody burn but right before their eyes they watched as the skin knit itself back together with a strange tingling sensation. She watched in horror as the burnt off symbol slowly re-appeared on her skin in a matter of seconds, looking no different than when they started the ritual.

“Damn it!” she cursed, flinging the metal bowl across the room and pacing away from Dean, taking a steadying breath.

“We’ll figure it out, Lexi. Hey, look at me.” Dean grabbed her arm, spinning her around. “We always figure this stuff out don’t we? We just need to keep looking, okay?”

She sighed and moved into his arms which he readily wrapped around her. She breathed in his familiar scent and let it calm her nerves.

“I just want it to be done. We have enough on our plate to deal with, I wish… I wish Cas was here.” She hadn’t said anything like that out loud to Dean since Cas had gone. She felt him stiffen a moment under her before his muscles relaxed a fraction.

“Yeah, I do too,” Dean answered, kissing the top of her head. Her phone buzzed and she checked it to see a text from Sam who was heading to a case involving dead psychics. “Who was that?”

“Your brother. He's heading to a new case.” She grabbed her laptop and pulled up the news reports. “Why don’t you go meet him there?”

Dean frowned at her. “Why, did he ask for me too?”

“No, but you guys need to talk and a case is probably just what you need.”

“He’s gonna be pissed if I just show up. I don’t feel like dealing with the Sammy bitch face.”

“Look, he won’t know that you went to meet him. He didn’t tell you he told me and he doesn’t know your here right? So just go, say you found the case on your own and work it together. We can’t afford to have both of you in a spat right now.”

Dean seemed to think on it. “Maybe that’s not a  _ terrible _ idea. What are you gonna do?”

She just shrugged. “Find a case, check in with Dad, I’ll figure something out. I know how to keep busy without you, Winchester.” She laughed and went up on tiptoe to kiss him lightly.

Dean grabbed her quick, deepening the kiss and humming happily. “Alright, I’ll go, but I’m gonna miss you… Any chance for a quicky before I hit the road?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she couldn’t contain the laugh.

“I think we can find the time.”   
  


******

The next two weeks flew by for Alex. She ran into Emmett and worked a case involving a demigod that nearly took both their heads off, all while fielding a flurry of texts from the boys. Sam and Dean had managed to reconcile, though it took a lot of bickering back and forth and she almost got to the point of turning her phone off.

Dean had begun calling her every night to talk, which had surprised her, and even though he was mostly just talking about the case or complaining about Sam’s recent dinner choice of burritos, it was still nice to just hear his voice. Dean had also told Sam that Alex and him were together which had involved a lengthy phone call from Sam in which he threatened each of them not to hurt each other and then promptly said he knew all along it would work out.

She knew the boys were on their annual Vegas trip together and she was happy to see that some things never changed. She managed to find a hunt for herself to keep busy, and landed herself in the mountains in New Hampshire, hunting down either a wendigo or a very aggressive moose.

Her feet hammered against the dirt, legs light and flying beneath her. She leapt over roots and rocks and zigged and zagged between trees. She could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket but she couldn’t afford to lose her concentration. She felt more than heard the monster closing in on her. Only a few more feet and her chest felt like it was on fire but she edged just a little faster and saw the outline of her trap up ahead. Dodging out of the way she felt a claw scrape across her shoulder but managed to reach the other side and toss the lighter. A high pitched wail reached her ears as she tumbled to the ground, turning to see the wendigo surrounded by flames and burning up.

Her phone continued to buzz and she was surprised she even had cell service out here. Panting, lying in the dirt, she answered the phone.

“Whats up, Winchester?” She struggled for breath and her mouth felt dry.

“We’ve got a big problem. Why the hell weren’t you picking up? I called you like ten times!” Dean’s irritated voice reached her and she rolled her eyes, sitting up.

“I guess I could have asked the wendigo if he didn’t mind pausing so I could answer my boyfriend's call. Don’t really think he would have gone for that though. So what’s so urgent?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m talking to you aren’t I? So what's up?” She flopped back on the ground and stared up at the stars, listening to the fire crackle and thinking she should put it out soon, just to be safe.

“Nothing major, just hitting the slots in Vegas, watching a show, going to Sam’s wedding!”

Okay now this caught her attention. “Wedding?”

Dean gives her the run through that apparently Sam married his number one fan, Becky Rosen at some Elvis chapel.

“Why didn’t you stop him? !” she exclaimed. As they spoke, she got up and put out the fire, then made her way down the trail to her car

“I tried, alright? He wasn’t having it, I mean it’s got to be a spell or some shit.”

“How did they even meet up?”

“I don’t know, he was out camping under the damn stars last time I saw him.”

“I thought you guys were having brother time.” 

She heard Dean scoff on the line. “So did I, but he bailed to take a break and connect with nature or some shit like that.”

“Alright. Well I'm all the way in New Hampshire. I can’t get out there for a few days at least. You think you need some back up?”

“I called your dad when you didn’t answer—he said he had a guy in the area but I dunno.”

“Did he say who?”

“Garth, I think.” 

A smile stretched across her face. “He’s… well he’s a good guy, hopefully he can help till I get there.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright. I’m gonna go. You took care of that monster, right? Hunt’s over?”

“All taken care of. Just gonna drag my butt back to the motel and get some sleep.”

“And what a sexy butt it is,” Dean chuckled and she could imagine the twinkle in his eye.

“You dog… I miss you.” She smiled and stifled a yawn.

“Miss you too, Lexi, stay safe, alright?”

“Mmhmm, night Dean.”

“Night.”

It took an hour to reach her car and another hour to drive to closest motel. She peeled off her canvas jacket and shirt and realized the gash on her shoulder was more substantial than she thought. It could use stitches, but she couldn’t reach it where it was. She considered looking for a local clinic or something, but the questions were always difficult and her fake insurance card had expired of all things.

She texted Emmett to find he was in New Jersey, then she texted Milton, who was in Ohio. After checking in on a few more hunters she texted Sara and got back a reply that she was only an hour away. Alex was relieved since the wound was still bleeding sluggishly and felt hot. She needed it cleaned and stitched quickly or it'd get infected.

Sara breezed through the motel room door with a smile on her face and bright pink hair. Alex’s jaw dropped a little at the sight, but she grinned because it really was so Sara.

“Should I just call you pink now?” Alex teased.

“Call me whatever you want, sugar. So lets see this scratch.” Sara smiled at her and Alex turned to show her the gash.

“Shit, Allie, this is serious. Let me wash my hands and we’ll patch you up. Here-” she handed Alex a bottle of Jack, and she took a happy swig of it.

Two hours and thirteen stitches later, Alex was all bandaged up and three shots in, feeling much better and utterly exhausted.

“You can grab the other bed,” Alex yawned and kicked off her jeans.

“Sure you don’t want company in yours?” Sara’s voice came up raspy and heady behind her as soft hands gripped her hips.

“That's a lovely offer, Sara, but uh, I’m kinda with Dean now… officially.” She turned to see the searching stare on Sara’s face.

“For real this time? You guys really giving it a shot?” Alex just nodded, giving her an apologetic smile. “He better not fuck it up, or I’ll fuck him up.” Sara wagged a finger at her and moved to slip into the other bed. Alex was incredibly grateful to Sara for not making a thing out of it. 

Alex woke to a styrofoam cup of coffee holding down a note from Sara.

_ Stay safe,  _

_ Call if you need me. _

_ Sara _

She peered out the window to see Sara’s bike was gone. She knew Sara still had feelings for her and thought maybe it had been selfish of her to call her there. She hoped they could find a way to an easier friendship someday.

It took her a few days to reach the boys and by then Garth and Dean had managed to break the spell on Sam and get him a quick annulment.

“Always knew you’d be the first down the aisle, Sam,” Alex teased, slapping him on the shoulder. She had exercised extreme restraint not giving Becky a well deserved black eye. “Though I am disappointed I didn’t get an invite.”

“Enough from both of you,” Sam said, pointing a long, threatening finger at her, then Dean. Garth ran up to them, a huge grin stretched across his face, zeroing in on Alex and dragging her into a bone-crushing hug.

“Hi Garth, you take care of my boys for me?” she chuckled, patting him on the back.

“You know me, Alexandra, I always got your back, girl.” Garth chuckled in that wheezy laugh of his.

“Don’t ever change, buddy. Catch you around.” Alex gave Garth a small peck on the cheek.

Garth gave both Winchesters a big hug before heading off.

“Your Dad called, he’s got a case in Hammonton, New Jersey. Asked if we could meet him out there.” Dean spun the keys in his hand.

“Anyone wanna ride shotgun in the Bronco?” Alex wiggled her eyebrows. 

Dean smirked tossing the keys in the air to Sam and jumping toward the car. “I’m in. Let’s roll, beautiful.” 

Alex gave Sam a hug before he retreated to his car, and they all headed off down the road. Dean slumped his seat back stretching his arms behind his head after setting the radio to a classic rock station. He rolled the window down and the breeze swirled through the car, twisting Alex’s hair around in knots.

“Can you close that? I didn’t even put my hair up,” she grumbled trying to flatten the wild locks.

“I got you,” Dean reached over with two hands and began trying to grapple with her mess of hair. His tongue stuck out to the side in concentration and his deft fingers twirled around like he was trying to be snake tamer.

“Your gonna mess it up- Dean, I’m gonna crash the damn car,” she laughed feeling the fingers card through her hair.

“Shush, you. Now where’s the elastic?” Dean pulled the elastic off her wrist and began to pull and twist and she yelped in pain a few times before he sat back with a wide grin. She looked in the rearview and saw a tangled mess of knots and ends sticking in all kinds of places.

“I look like Bellatrix Lestrange!” Alex barked a laugh.

“Who?” Dean tipped his head at her.

“Someday I'm going to tie you to a chair and make you watch Harry Potter, or better yet, read it to you,” Alex shook her head.

“Isn’t that for kids?”

“It’s for everyone, Dean, and thanks for your noble attempt at hair styling,” She laughed again and Dean just gave a self satisfied shrug.

The drive was long and she was exhausted by the time they reached the run-down house Sam had scouted. The power wasn’t working and Alex flicked on a flashlight to try and untangle the mess Dean had made. She heard the brothers bickering in the basement before the lights flickered on. The place had a stale, wet smell to it and she decided no surface with fabric should be touched.

Bobby rolled through the door as the boys made it up the stairs. Dean looked tired. He'd lost that bright hopeful smile he’d worn on the drive over. Alex wasn’t sure what turned it and hoped maybe it was just the fear of mold.

“Well isn’t this cozy?” Bobby grinned at her, planting a kiss on her cheek and she leaned into him for a side hug.

Dean came to stand beside them and Sam strode past them, sitting down at the dusty table with a bit of a scowl.

Sam rubbed his tired eyes, “Yeah. Well, Motel 6 just ain't leaving the light on anymore.”

“Well, I'm taking a page out of Frank Devereaux's Bible on this. Everybody's out to get you—paranoia is just plain common sense.” Bobby tossed his bag down and Alex leaned into him, putting her tired head on his shoulder.

“Weeks, guys. Weeks. We've been living with cold showers, cold Hot Pockets, cold freaking everything. I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in. You guys get that, right?” Dean looked between them, exasperated.

Alex sighed. “How many big mouths are out there, running card traces, like Chet, or hunting us down God knows what ways? No, now's not the time to be laying our bed rolls out on the grid. Not if we can help it.”

The lights took that moment to flicker and go out, and was Sam who turned on the battery-powered lantern. Dean grumbled, “That's just great. This is stupid. Our quality of life is crap. We got Purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third ‘The World's Screwed’ issue in, what, three years? We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already.”

Alex watched Dean’s face and was beginning to understand his sudden mood change. She knew the leviathans had been taking a toll on him but not this much.

“Someone's got to do it,” she added.

“What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?”

“You think the world wants to end?” Sam frowned at his brother.

“I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada woulda offed itself already,” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

“Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head.”

Dean snagged a beer, flopping on the couch and Alex is about to move next to him but hesitated, since they hadn’t told her dad yet. Dean tossed her a beer and they went over the case. People were showing up dead, and there were reports of the Jersey Devil, which had Alex rolling her eyes at the thought.

“Something hung a camper up in a tree, then ate him alive right through his sleeping bag. His wife hasn't been seen, either. Plus, there have been four other missing persons reported in the last three weeks. State troopers—get this—are saying it's a rogue bear.” Sam eyed the laptop.

“Yeah, of course, when was the last time you saw a bear string up its own piñata?”

“Something's out there in the woods. Hey, we're going honest to goodness wilderness hunting. I haven't used my .30-30 in a while.” Bobby gave Alex’s arm a small squeeze.

“Okay, Davey Crockett, well, safari's gonna have to wait till tomorrow and after our suit-and-tie dance.” Dean finished his first beer, grabbing for the next.

“We'll make sure this is not just some backwoods crackhead who likes to roll glampers.” Alex moved to sit at the table with Sam.

“What the hell's a glamper?” Bobby scowled at them and Alex gestured at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes before answering, “High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience.”

Bobby shook his head. “That's idiotic.”

“Yeah. Some people just don't know how to live,” Sam shared a knowing smirk with Alex.

The four of them spent the rest of the evening tossing back a few beers and chatting about the case. Alex eyed Dean every so often and figured she may as well bite the bullet. It was her dad, after all.

“I’m with Dean,” she blurted out, and all three men in the room went silent. She watched as Dean sank down a little deeper in the couch and Sam stared fixedly at his empty beer can. Bobby raised a brow at her but didn’t bother to fill the uncomfortable silence. “I uh, just thought you should know,” she added lamely.

“Baby girl, that ain’t news to me.” Bobby took a sip of his beer. “You treat each other right and we won’t have a problem.” He pointed a finger at each of them and Dean looked like a deer in headlights. Bobby rolled his eyes. “Chickens, both of ya. I’m off to bed.” Bobby grabbed his sleeping bag, placed a kiss to the top of Alex’s head and walked up the creaky stairs to find a bedroom.

Dean and Alex stared at each other with mirrored looks of shock. Sam shifted uncomfortably before grabbing his own sleeping bag and following Bobby’s lead. Dean watched his brother retreat before looking back at Alex. She moved to sit next to him on the battered couch, still feeling buzzed from the beers and little food. She leaned into his warmth and breathed in the smell of him over the musty house.

“That went better than I thought,” Dean whispered in his low rumble.

“Ditto.”

“We should get some sleep,” he added. Alex hummed her consent against his neck and placed a soft kiss below his jaw feeling the scrape of his stubble.

“Lexi, don’t you dare,” he scolded but tilted his head up just a little and Alex raked her teeth across the offered skin.

“Wanna make out like we're in high school?” she chuckled.

Dean’s eyes scanned her face. “Hell yes,” he replied, sinking his fingers into her hair and tipping her back onto the couch. Alex and Dean melted into each other, and with every breathy pant and soft touch they reassured each other that things were going to be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Song credits  
> Good as you were bad - Jana Kramer  
> Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey - John Mayer


End file.
